TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

Jonathan Sims | The Magnus Archives

[eyediot]

Bad dreams make me get up and walk

[The waking up is easy. He'd done it most of his entire life, until recently when he didn't have to anymore. Then it was difficult. But this felt like every other day of his life before it wasn't really his control anymore. But walking out of the cabin, Jon knew immediately something was wrong.]

Martin?

[They'd just been together. They were talking, they were holding each other, they were-

Well. One of them was in worse condition. Jon still looks in worse condition, shirt and clothes splattered with mud and blood. But the life jacket and card are odd; exactly his particular brand of odd. So he's clutching the (at the moment) useless life jacket in both arms to his chest as he makes his way up to the deck, looking around for any sign of anything familiar or known to him.

He'll stop the nearest person, though, whether that person looks like they just woke up or not. This poor man covered head to toe in different scars and hideously worn clothes looking all the world like a caged animal trying to get his bearings.]

Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm- I just was somewhere else and - Have you seen a tall, broad ginger here? Answers to Martin?

Can't stop screaming

What...

[He looks up as the chandelier seemingly appears out of nothing. It wasn't there before, not twenty seconds ago and Jon can't seem to pin down what exactly caused it to arrive here in the dining hall. For anyone watching, the man who has yet to change out of his blood and mud-caked clothes is standing perfectly still staring right up at it.

That is until he suddenly jumps back about ten steps before the thing crashes with a yelp.]

Are you all right? Christ...

Gnashin plastic fangs casting shadows

[Jon is standing in front of the shop and... Not entering, but he looks mildly displeased. Or maybe that's just his face. But he still looks unhappy about it. No Martin, still in his current condition, no sign of His Particular Brand Of Problems so far.]

I see otherworldly ships are not quite immune to nonsense.

can't stop screaming

[tempingainteasy]

Jon has happened to stop beside a table in the dining hall, and that table has someone sitting at it. She was sitting there before, of course, don't you remember? They sure look like they've been seated there for awhile, nursing half a martini. The gin half, going by the bottle beside her arm.

She doesn't stop sipping her gin as the chandelier crashes down, and even putting her glass down happens after Jon's response more by coincidence than intent.

"Yeah, yeah." she says, waving her other hand, the picture of casual indifference (whatever you think that looks like). "Just another day ending in Y, here. You get used to it."

[eyediot]

The casualness rubs him wrong. Another place like this, like what he was certain he just left. Had he not? Jon would rather not think about it, if he doesn't have to.

His gaze is fixed on where the pieces of the chandelier were until they weren't, but he feels something odd about the voice.

"More of the same, then. How long has that particular quirk been happening?"

[tempingainteasy]

She pauses again, thinking it over for a moment, before shrugging.

"A few days now, I think. You new here?"

Not that she's a social butterfly or anything, the man just has that haggard look of someone trying to adapt to a place that doesn't make sense. She's seen it a lot on newly promoted employees at her old job.

[eyediot]

He's busied himself trying to examine the spot the chandelier was. Anything to not look at the Stranger whose face he can't make out. Sure he could, but he knows how that ends for them both. Probably.

So he sounds a little distracted, "Hm? Oh, yes, a few hours now," before he resumes looking around.

"Is there any pattern to it?"

[tempingainteasy]

There's a rankling feeling of someone trying to understand, and while it passes them quickly, their hackles remained raised afterwards.

"Dunno, but I imagine it's operating on 'if a tree falls in the woods' rules." she says.

She's got her eyes (which she has) on this guy, and the way he's way more interested in the weird impermanent light fixture than looking their way... And the way that doesn't seem to affect his awareness of her in this conversation.

Then again, it's been a long month and she's been drinking about it, and they only exchanged a few words, maybe she'll get her edge back when she's tired of it.

[eyediot]

"Very likely."

So where does that place it? Does it even particularly matter here? Probably not. But he can't help thinking about it. He instinctively wants to look at them. Is forcing himself to not. They haven't done anything yet to him, so there's no reason to bother them.

"Well. I suppose I could go looking for it." He almost sounds chipper about it. A mystery. But maybe he could use it as an excuse to be looking for Martin at the same time.

[tempingainteasy]

There's something about this guy that's rubbing her the wrong way. And you know what? She's figured it out. He has the same overly-inquisitive vibes of too many people she's worked adjacent too and even more members of the public who think they can just stroll right into the front doors of a federal research building with a phone or a laptop recording and a go-getter attitude and get answers.

"What are you, an investigator or something?" she says, managing to only be a little accusatory. "Take a break, you're on a cruise."

[eyediot]

"A researcher," he corrects. Though that isn't entirely true anymore now, is it? He takes a moment to take a different look around the dining hall. Tim would have been interested in this design work. Maybe. "I work in archival work, actually."

There's no reason to bring undue attention to himself with the whole "The Archivist" here. No one's pegged him as such so far, so perhaps it isn't quite as obvious yet.

"And I can't help but be a bit curious when I turn up on a cruise ship very suddenly without my consent."

bad dreams make me get up and walk!

[nyktifanis]

Ah...

( it's always like this when a person wakes up on this vessel, and they show worry for the person that's on their mind. pollux was the same too, before when she first arrived without her brother by her side. luckily for her, someone was able to reunite them, and so perhaps she can do the same for this individual.

his way of dress worries her as if he's been through too much, and she wonders if she should take him back to her room while trying to find the person he's looking for. at least he can take a bath, and she can offer him some clothes that might suit him better— the tommy bahama has changed for the season, so perhaps that would be more fitting.

pollux places a hand to her chest, settled over her heart. )

I'm afraid I haven't, but that doesn't mean I won't assist you in searching for them. Perhaps you two had woken up apart.

( or so she hopes. )

[eyediot]

[Pollux, you're not ready to try and clean this sad man up, it took Salesa hours.

But the offer of help doesn't go unnoticed. But what does she want for it? What should he be expecting?]

Very likely. I-

It is very important I find him.

[Sure he's dead, but Martin can't be, Martin shouldn't be, but he promised-]

[nyktifanis]

( give her some credit, she's a goddess, maybe she can be the change that he needs!!

she pauses, hearing the concern in his voice which helps with her decision. )

Of course, what always is when it comes to those a person would worry themselves sick over.

( she's unsure if it's the same as her, but it's the way her words thread together that makes her believe that the key word of importance is heavy here. )

We can check every deck, from top to bottom... each and every room as well. You must keep hope that Martin is safe, even if we do not find him.

( some would call being here a type of underworld, but even her uncle would never reside over a place like this. )

[eyediot]

[He's left staring at her. No one is this kind without an ulterior motive. Not anymore. Not after everything that's happened. But his mind balks a bit-]

Deck? This is a ship?

Good lord. [Okay. Okay, not what he thought. Must be a Fairchild special, then. Because it can't be Lukas, it absolutely cannot be. That particular ship has no captain now.]

I'm afraid I don't have much choice but to hope for him. [He wants Martin here, he wants to keep his promise, but at the same time.. If he's not, then he went back to the world repaired. And Jon should be happy with that.]

All right. I'll follow you for now.

[nyktifanis]

Yes, this ship is special, though.

( there's things about it that puts them in a situation that they can't fix, and part of her has to hope that martin hadn't been subjected to it, and is a little saddened that the gentleman here has. )

When I arrived, I checked the Stellar...

( the dining room first, and then she migrated to the library. )

When we pass by, you can grab a bite to eat. For now, the infirmary first.

( it's with that idea that she begins walking, stopping immediately if she doesn't hear his steps. )

[eyediot]

[Ha. Something to eat. Now that's funny. He doesn't feel the hunger of when he was still human, nor does he feel that emptiness of not having a statement either. Jon isn't sure what he is now or what he needs. Except that he needs to find Martin.

For now, he nods following after Pollux, taking in the surroundings carefully.]

You said this ship is special. What in particular makes it so?

[nyktifanis]

It would be difficult to explain, some people wish to live blissfully unaware.

( she comments as she brings him along to their first room of business, the infirmary that's filled with everything that they need (sans martin). a bed, some first-aid kits, and so on that would probably do good for her companion. a bath, food and a nice patch-up. is it rude to tell someone they look like shit and should use these items while they're here? ...hm.

well, pollux would say it in the nicest way possible as always. )

We can start with the basics: so there's this captain.

( i couldn't resist. )

He's the sole owner of this vessel, but for every passenger that occupies it, he uses their pain and fear to fuel it. I've been told he wishes to become a God.

[eyediot]

[He follows along easily enough. Takes note of everything that passes them by, committing it to memory for now.

The infirmary is about as one would expect. He really does look like shit, doesn't he? Yes, he should probably get cleaned up as best he can given the lack of alternative wardrobe.

Oh, but that - That comment has him stop dead in his tracks.]

...I see.

[He doesn't know if Pollux means Peter Lukas, but there's no way it could be. He'd never really sought that power when he was alive and. Well. He certainly isn't alive anymore. But Jon forces his tone to even, come out as calm as he can (it isn't much. He's always been a bit too emotional no matter how he views himself).]

How often is this ship stuck in fog banks?

Gnashin plastic fangs casting shadows

[light_mischief]

Nonsense is practically a second language around here.

[Says the six-foot-four skeleton in a full suit stopping outside of the Halloween store. (He's never been in one before!!! It's the novelty!!!)]

Cheer up, it'll be back to a Tommy Bahama in a few weeks. Probably.

[eyediot]

[Sir, do you need to save your brethren? Or is it an insult to see them all hanging there like that?

Still, Jon doesn't seem fazed at all by the skeleton. Only annoyed at having to look up at him.]

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with that name. That's what it normally is, then?

[light_mischief]

[He's not not contemplating hiding among the hanging skeletons in the off chance someone happens by them...]

Oh, lucky you. I was recently acquainted with it when the infinite shopfront opened. The first new clothing we could get ahold of, and of course, it had to be overpriced linen vacation shirts. [He would rather die.]

There's a fifty-fifty chance that at least one animatronic inside that store will actively try to kill you. Either that, or the creature that lives in the Tommy Bahama is still lurking around the racks...

[eyediot]

[Something fun to be had for everyone!

Still.

He turns his gaze back to the store in front of him.]

Wouldn't be the worst thing, really. The animatronic bit, not. Not the vacation shirts. [No fucking thanks.] What do you mean 'infinite'?

[light_mischief]

Exactly that. The length of the store repeats indefinitely; no matter how far you get from the entrance, the back wall will always be out of reach.

[He gestures to the cafe and piano bar on either side of the shop.] The shop itself appeared between Sand Dollars and John's one morning. I believe a passenger requested additional clothing options, and that was the response.

in which I make a joke that probably only makes sense to me

[eyediot]

[If this is a domain, it's another mixed domain. Great. Not that he can feel any statement that needs to be let out here, but it still doesn't exactly fill him with confidence.]

I'm- sorry. Just to make sure I have this correctly. Someone 'requested' additional clothing options, and this store merely appeared?

[That does not seem like ethical business models. Do they have their business permit? Are they some evil organization henchman wanting to take control of this area somehow? He really hopes this is someone's very specific nightmare he's gotten a front row seat to.]

What do they even get out of this?

niche sailor moon lore activated

[light_mischief]

[Oh, it's somebody's nightmare, alright. Only time will tell whose!!!]

If you want the full history, I could give it to you, but suffice it to say that the Captain in charge of the ship has a firm grasp on chaos magic and loves trying to be funny.

[Whether or not he is funny kind of depends on your sense of humor...]

The shop itself doesn't provide anything directly to the Captain, as far as I'm aware. If it does, it would have to be... experiences, I suppose. That's primarily what he takes from us in exchange for all of this. [Not to imply that it's a fair trade...]

1

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Shaun, newly arrived himself, looks up at the bewildered man, then politely turns his head and sneezes. Wherever the man had been does not smell pleasant. He looks back up at the man. No, he has not heard of Martin, and colour of hair is a bit subjective, since he's a claymation sheep.]

Baa.

[Sorry, he has not seen your Martin.]