TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[eyediot]

"Very likely."

So where does that place it? Does it even particularly matter here? Probably not. But he can't help thinking about it. He instinctively wants to look at them. Is forcing himself to not. They haven't done anything yet to him, so there's no reason to bother them.

"Well. I suppose I could go looking for it." He almost sounds chipper about it. A mystery. But maybe he could use it as an excuse to be looking for Martin at the same time.

[tempingainteasy]

There's something about this guy that's rubbing her the wrong way. And you know what? She's figured it out. He has the same overly-inquisitive vibes of too many people she's worked adjacent too and even more members of the public who think they can just stroll right into the front doors of a federal research building with a phone or a laptop recording and a go-getter attitude and get answers.

"What are you, an investigator or something?" she says, managing to only be a little accusatory. "Take a break, you're on a cruise."

[eyediot]

"A researcher," he corrects. Though that isn't entirely true anymore now, is it? He takes a moment to take a different look around the dining hall. Tim would have been interested in this design work. Maybe. "I work in archival work, actually."

There's no reason to bring undue attention to himself with the whole "The Archivist" here. No one's pegged him as such so far, so perhaps it isn't quite as obvious yet.

"And I can't help but be a bit curious when I turn up on a cruise ship very suddenly without my consent."

[tempingainteasy]

Ugh, it's like their nightmares are manifesting in front of their totally real eyes. Their face wrinkles.

"Did you sleep through the onboarding?" She remarks, but carries on: "Well, here's your mystery solved: The captain wants tokens to exchange for magic powers, and we're the gil farm. Everything else comes from or is in service to that. Tadaaah."

Not that he'll appreciate it, but she jazzes her hands anyway.