TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

Shaun - Shaun the Sheep - OTA

[shaun_the_sheep]

1. Gravity Works
[Shaun’s hooves clop on the deck as he wanders along on all four feet, peering this way and that, a bit wide-eyed. He’s rarely been off the farm. Only been to town a few times. A rural farming community in the very backwater of England has nothing on this cruise ship! Fancy!]

[Shaun stops, squinting at his feet. A shadow? A shadow of…? He looks up with a gasp as the chandelier drops!]

[Drops and…explodes into a cartoonish cloud of dust and crystal, which clears to reveal…Shaun, suddenly bipedal, front hooves pressed close to his body, standing in the impossibly-narrow center ofvthe fallen chandelier. He looks about with surprise, and heavys a big sigh. He reaches up and wipes his forehead with a wrist. Then he looks at the mess and clicks his tongue.]

Maaa.

[Somebody better clean this up. He reaches into his fleece and from the fluffy depths produces a dustpan and broom. Time to get to work!]

2. Costumes Galore
[The shop with all the costumes is the best! So many wigs and caps! Not even stolen from the farmer or knit from his own wool! He and the flock could definitely get away with ordering pizza with some of these!]

[Spying a particularly interesting outfit, Shaun stands up on his hind feet to reach out, pluck up the hanger, and hold the coat against his fleece, measuring, muttering to himself in contemplative little ‘baa’s under his breath.]

[Until he spots your character staring at him!]

[He drops the garment and drops to all fours again, blinking innocently before offering a sheepish:]

Baa?

3. Wildcard
[It’s a claymation small Scottish Blackface sheep wandering the ship. Go wild. Further infornation in the journal!]

Seraphine | League of Legends

[starryeyedsongstress]

I. Radioactive

[ Seraphine is in fact waking up and feeling it in her bones. What is "it" in this instance? Only Imagine Dragons and her throbbing headache know, as she sits up in bed to look around at this new cabin. New place? That's fine. Keep cool, Sera, you can figure things out. What were you doing last night? There wasn't any parties or riots or... hm.

She mutters a few affirmations to herself as she pokes her head out the door, looking down the hallway sheepishly for a moment before she tries to catch someone's attention. She gives her best smile, only slightly lopsided to convey her nervousness. ]

Excuse me, um... where... are we? Sorry if that's a weird question, I just don't remember falling asleep here!

II. TGIF

[ This certainly isn't the first time she's been given a "you're on your own, good luck" sort of spiel. But it's the first time the person who was giving it to her seemed so frazzled. Or maybe "frazzled" isn't the right word. She can't really tell at the moment. None of the songs around her were making much sense to her, but she's going to blame that on the tension she feels right about now.

But despite her own nerves, she extends her hand out towards Friday in some attempt to stop her. ]

Do you need help...? I don't mind doing a bit of this work.

III. Operation Dawnseeker

[ The first time Seraphine hears the chandelier clatter to the ground, she immediately goes to investigate. The singing has goosebumps trailing up her arms as she does her best to make sure no one's gotten hurt, but... everything seems to be okay? And then, just like that, the chandelier just starts... moving? Then disappearing. And that voice- that song. She hears it so clearly. Thus, she starts heading for it instantly once again. ]

a. [ And if you're caught in the same room as it, she'll frantically try to head for you to pull on your hand to get you out of the way. ]

b. [ Or, if she heads to a room that's empty, you'll catch her trying to sing back to the voice. It's probably a fruitless attempt, but if she can get this... voice to stop causing damage, she thinks the try is worth it. She's trying her best to listen for the emotion in the voice -- something she's usually so good at, yet struggling with ever since arriving on the ship. Nerves, she convinces herself. It's just nerves. She does her best to harmonize with the childish song, and sing with it, rather than over it. ]

And all this time,
we fought so hard to swallow all our pride,
but the time has come for light to shine the way.
Your story will be told,
you will never be alone.

IV. This is Halloween.

[ But, like, what is Halloween? Seraphine has to stand outside the store to stare at it blankly for a long time until someone comes around, to which she'll turn to them to ask. ] Did they misspell "Harrowing"? Are there things in there to stop the undead...?

The Stray | Stray | OTA

[catus]

the deck.

[ There's a cat on the deck.

Sunbathing. Like it owns the place. Maybe it does, considering the absolute authority with which it stretches as long as it can get, a large, furry orange mess of claws and whiskers, taking in the light for as long as it will grace its fur.

And you, random person that just happens to have taken notice of the cat on the deck, if you want to brave a belly rub... well, nothing's stopping you. ]

a cat on a chandelier above the pool.

[ Wait what?

Yeah, there's a cat on a chandelier, suspended on thin air. Somehow. Why is there a chandelier floating above a pool? How did the cat get there? How is it going to get down? All valid questions, but alas, they are to remain a mystery.

But every now and then, the cat meows. Loudly, perhaps with a bit of urgency. As if its patience is waning. Perhaps getting on top of the damn thing wasn't the triumph it might have thought so, and now desperately wants to be moved to a more structurally sound surface.

The fact that is looking very intently at the whoever gets closer to meow specifically at them might be related.

Where are the firefighters when you need feline rescue? ]

like a cat in a place with things.

[ The cat found the store.

The cat is currently pushing everything on an edge, off the edge. Consistently, methodically, it's big green eyes following the path of whatever its paws got a hold on. Some break with interesting sounds, some don't. Some bounce, those are quite the treat to watch.

There's no sign of it stopping. Not until It Is Done. Until what is done? The cat does not know, but there's still edges to push things out of. ]

wildcat.

[ The cat is not one to stick to a place for too long (unless there's warmth and food), and so it roams. Into rooms, into places. Private places? The cat does not know. The boat is its oyster, and it will crack it open for its delicious spoils.

That or it will find the coolest box around to twist itself into it and sleep. Really depends on its mood. ]

like a(nother) cat in a place with things.

[ring_for_giles]

[ There's a thunk as another object falls to the floor. Not one the cat pushed off though, one a little further down the way.

Well.

A cat pushed it off.

A small tuxedo cat to be precise.

One that's now staring at the new-comer with a mixture of curiosity and recognition. Hey another cat! Neat! It's been getting bored being the resident ship's cat all on its lonesome, now someone else can share the load. ]

TGIF

[secondtick]

[Well the ship wasn't repairing itself, and Friday was about as helpful as the busted lights, so someone had to work and try to keep things manageable when everyone seemed to be content with pulling the whole place down around them. Lying on his hoverboard, Ekko was under a display working on a little bit of electrical wiring. When she spoke it was a voice that he recognized, but not quite not immediately. It was enough to pull his attention and get him to slide out from under the counter and sit up.]

You're a long way from home. One of us leaves and someone else shows us now?

[But he supposed a performer was at least better than an enforcer, as far as having to put up with a Piltie went. Anyways, Ekko kind of enjoyed her music too, the few times he and a few buddies had snuck up to see a performance or two.]

You know anything about crossed wires? Or should we start with just replacing the bulbs?

[catus]

[ The cat looks up, alert. Then it finds the other cat.

My people, its green eyes seem to say. Or maybe it saw something shiny behind the tuxedo stranger.

Still, customs must be kept. The cat leaves its task for the moment o hop closer to its feline companion. Sniffing is in order. Sniffing, and placing its paw squarely on the other cat's face, right between the eyes.

Yeeeees, this is definitely a cat. ]

The Deck

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Clip-clop clip-clop, hooves on the deck. Shaun stops and tips his head, eyeing the cat from one eye, then the other. It certainly doesn’t serm as malicious as the farmer’s cat.]

[He looks around. No humans nearby.]

[So he shifts to bipedal, sits down cross-legged, and pets the cat’s back. He knows better than to poke the tummy.]

Baa, maa mah?

[catus]

[ The cat's eyes open, inspecting the sudden source of headpats. Not unwelcomed, but certainly unexpected. Still, it's not one to let a chance of pandering go to waste.

There's a suspicious lack of opposable thumbs though. The cat can't say it feels the same way. ]

Meow.

[ The cat doesn't speak sheep. Amazingly aware as it is, the cat remains a relatively simple creature. That white fur sure looks like it would feel great against its claws tho...

But for now, it stretches even more, turning into a ginger noodle with pointy ends. That'll do sheep. That'll do. ]

wanna swing from the chan-de-lier

[skaikru]

( 75% of the animals the captain makes turn evil. that's what he'd said, and clarke had immediately imagined rabid dogs frothing at the mouth with a pink mix of blood and saliva, or ferocious bears randomly barreling out of tree lines on expeditions. rattlesnakes in the desert with a vendetta that surpassed base, animalistic survivalism whenever someone walked to close, or even something as innocuous and virulent as flesh eating bacteria with sentience.

the last cat she'd come upon had, in the end, been a boy who could shape shift. and she'd bundled him in a table cloth, thrown him into the brig, and spent a good long while scratching behind his ears while explaining how and why she'd probably throw him overboard — just to be safe. but a few more months spent on board the serena eterna, and clarke figures she's learned. if the dinosaur rampaging through a hoard of zombies was a person, then the orange tabby perched on top of a (suspiciously, like super suspiciously but not weirdly — if that makes sense) light fixture dangling above the pool is probably one too. right? and in which case, it's completely logical they don't turn back into a human, for fear of overbalancing it.

and in that case — and yes, because the mewling is pathetic in the way that make teenage girls go aaaaw! — she's here to help. distracted from whatever task is on hand, drawing to the very edge of the pool, and shading her eyes against the faux sun when looking up. )

You'll be okay. Just turn into a bird, or jump into the water. It's deep enough to your right, it shouldn't hurt.

[catus]

Mrrrreow!

[ The cat is, unfortunately enough, very much just a cat. Extremely smart and quite possibly genetically even better than your run of the mill, non dystopian future cat, but otherwise a cat. The meowing turns slightly judgemental, because it is very fucking high up and entering the water is not an option. However...Clarke is now close enough, and her head is decidedly high enough. Maybe?

The cat stands, legs going tense as it takes a calculating stance. It's the quintessential "I'm about to jump" position, so hopefully the girl doesn't move away. The cat would most likely survive the drop to the deck, but it would also hurt a bit. Still, it's not jumping just yet, just...calibrating.

Yes, keep that blonde head right there, soft looking not-android being. ]

[skaikru]

( the truly funny part is, this full-stop dystopian future teen has never seen a real housecat. yes, there have been two run in's with the radiation-mutated descendants of the big cat exhibit from the virginia zoo (weird that it's happened twice, but yanno) and there'd also been aiden, the definition of chill, go with the flow, and lap pet more content at swatting at sushi than death defying stunts. children's books featuring cats only got you so far, and in the end it takes clarke a few seconds too long to realize what's about to happen.

and when she does, those soft all-too-human-being features slip into a classic expression of alarm, tinged with the anticipatory fear of claws. )

Oh. No. No, no no. Wait —

( but she hasn't moved yet! )

[catus]

[ The cat knows only the expressions plastered in the face-screens of androids, but it might be just smart enough to draw a parallel.

Does it give a fuck? Of course not. And so it leaps down.

Its front paws land squarely at the center of the top of Clarke's head, while its back paws land on her forehead. No claws. It's actually not that much of a painful experience, because the cat is an expert in tumbling around, thank you very much. It is a weight on her head, but the cat is quick to slide to the floor, soundlessly and effortlessly.

And then it uses a paw to brush its whiskers for a moment, as if it had forgotten that there's a person next to it. Only after its face is in an acceptable state (it looks exactly the same) does the cat wraps around Clarke's legs, a far lower, more subdued meow coming out of it. Thanks, squishy, warm android-like being. You've been of great use. ]

[skaikru]

( to her credit, she doesn't scream out.

but clarke's entire body goes stiff the moment before impact, eyes jammed shut like enough housing between her brow and the crest of her scrunched cheek will protect from the claws she fully expects to rake open her face. but in the end, it's just the rough pads of cat feet finding purchase on her face. and it's brief, the animal slithering off her back like water.

shock, awe, and the hangover of panic keeps her rooted to the spot and just staring — indignant — at the creature while it grooms itself. however brief it'd reigned, adrenaline settles in her legs like cement and when the feline twines itself through her ankles, she's stock still despite a mild urge to shove it off with her instep beneath its belly. 75% chance? or particularly affectionate shapeshifter?

no, she will virtually never accept it's just a normal cat. )


...okay. You're down. Learn your lesson about climbing creepy decor?

( she is... still speaking to it like a human. a human that just fluster-mortified-infuriated her by jumping onto her head. why is this life on board the serena eterna... )

[catus]

Mreeeooow...

[ This one is higher pitched, longer, and shows a lot of teeth. The cat, by virtue of being a weird futuristic being, has some semblance of an idea of what Clarke means... or maybe it's just that cats are a lot smarter than they appear to, regardless of the setting. But it knows, in it's own way, just well enough to not be very interested in respecting the girl's wishes. It does one more lap around her legs. Come on, ministrations are in order. Perhaps it needs a display of good faith?

The cat plops on the deck, belly up, eyes closed in what could be only be described as an incredibly cute expression. The belly demands rubbing, it has been far too long. Its front paws wiggle on the air, beckoning Clarke to get closer. You know you want to, they seem to say. Be honored and take a knee for the kitty cat. ]

[skaikru]

( do you know

how hard

the belly is

to resist???

obviously, why else wield it like a perfectly sharp blade in the name of emotional manipulation. it takes a herculean amount of self restraint not to bend the knee to the kitty stomach overlord, but now i'm committed to the bit of clarke assuming it's a human in cat form, which would just make petting it weird. so instead, there's a strangled little huff of annoyance in the back of her throat. and her dominant (could be kitty pettin'!!!) hand slips inside a pocket of her shorts. )

You can change back, now. You're on the ground. Nobody here cares.

[catus]

[ The cat stretches and bends, making something resembling a ginger letter C of sorts, or maybe an L, depending on where you look at it from and whether you're actually trying to find meaning on the shape it's making. Change? It knows that word. Kind of. Context is important. A cat is a cat. The androids wanted change, and it sort of aligned with its own desires, so it worked itself out in the end, but the soft/warm/not android being...it's not making much sense.

It blinks at her. Then it rolls to its side, facing Clarke. It's an intense, piercing stare, straight into her eyes. It wants to understand, because understanding leads to it getting something in return, usually. ]

Meow-ow-ow-reow...

[ An additional stretch to get close enough to poke at Clarke's shoe. Is this being malfunctioning? It's time for petting. Why does it feel...not endeared? Surely it doesn't have to do with anything the cat has done. ]

the deck

[killed]

[ Hiyori is a once in a generation genius, a man who can be kind and cruel, a person who invests in none yet demands the attention and pampering of all, and a cat lover. This may come as no surprise, given that they're the only creatures that can match him in selfishness, neediness, and sensitivity all at once.

That aside, they're cute. He finds the cat before him to be more charming than most, but cats are delicate creatures who will as soon shred your hand as they will purr and offer their blessing.

He starts by approaching with caution, crouching and then kneeling down by the feline, keeping his hands pressed on his knees. If people must be approached with caution, then a cat must be afforded even more delicacy and grace, for they're timid creatures and any slight action might cause offense. In fact, they're the only creatures allowed to be offended by him, anyone else is just objectively wrong if they are. ]

Hello...

[ ...

He really likes cats... ]

[catus]

[ The cat's eyes, closed until now, open wide, pupils contracting to a slit as they focus on the new arrival. It's not an android, but it looks like one. Kinda. Or do androids look like whatever this is? It does not care. What it does care about though, is that it's warm, it smells nice and it's probably way softer than the androids. The mechanical being's ministrations were quite a treat to it, so it wonders how would be feel to be pampered by this being.

Another big stretch, offering its belly. Cats are mercurial beings, but this particular one is highly agreeable, provided its mood remains unperturbed. It has decided to give Hiyori a sporting chance, as it is magnanimous, fair and warm enough to put caution aside for the moment.

Go on then, its emerald eyes seem to say, do your best. ]

[killed]

[ There are few things in life more dangerous than taking a cat up on its offer to show affection, as it's much like how one risks injury in sticking their hand into a bear trap, but his general aversion to any potential risk apparently is reserved specifically for non-cute things because he readily takes up on the invitation.

Hiyori reaches a hand out to rub the cat's belly, gingerly massaging and kneading the skin in a practiced manner. He always wanted a cat, but his parents refused, and by time he was old enough to own one he was far too busy. But he's interacted with them at shelters and other areas more than enough to know how to handle them properly, or at least as much as any human knows how to, and Hiyori's as soft and warm as one would expect. ]

... ♪

[ Cats are so soft... He's doing his best!! ]

[catus]

[ It becomes quite evident that the cat is enjoying itself. It closes its eyes again, content to let Hiyori do his thing. A paw lowers on his hand, no claws, as if letting him know it's okay to keep his hand there. And his hand is indeed way softer than an android's which is very good. Sun, belly rubs and not a single flesh devouring critter in sigh, life's good.

Life's good enough indeed that it starts to purr, like a small, cat sized engine that revs up and doesn't stop. It stretches again, as if wanting to expose as much of its soft underbelly as possible. One could get addicted to this... ]

[starryeyedsongstress]

[ Ekko speaks, and her hands go back to her sides where she nervously tugs at her skirt. She doesn't recognize Ekko so much as she recognizes the hoverboard and... a sense of relief washes over her. It's the first familiar thing she's seen since getting here! Does that mean this boy is from the Undercity?? ]

"One of us leaves"? What do you mean? How long have you been here?

And I can't say I'm an expert, but I know at least how to fix simple stuff. [ So, you know, the very basics, but even then, her parents were the ones that usually dealt with these things. That doesn't mean that she doesn't want to try to help, anyway!! ]

2

[konpeito_aji]

[One of Nobunaga's life long dreams has been to pet a sheep. They look like clouds. And wool is inferior and unpleasant, but he's certain he could improve on it if he could just pet the real thing.]

[The Demon King is still wearing his full plate mail black armor, but although he'd been trying to organize Tommy Bahamas (a fool's errand, it's infinite) he's just enjoying the costumes, seeing what's there, trying to decide what he can do with it all.]

Oh. I'm sorry for watching. [He bows.] You don't have to stop on my account. I'm sure you'd look good with more color, though you already look like an adorable fluffy cloud.

Chrissy Cunningham | Stranger Things

[bubblegumheart]

Before She Hung Up

It's unnerving, waking up in such a small bedroom. The last thing she remembers is Eddie leaving the room, and then her nightmare house. The monster. Running, running, running until she couldn't run anymore. Gentle words from a monstrous figure, promising to make her suffering stop. It was desperation that had driven her to Eddie in the clearing that day, and something else entirely that froze her in her tracks. And then there was nothing.

Until she woke up here.

Chrissy's never been on a cruise ship before, as far as she can remember.

Eventually, she makes her way to the atrium, and finds herself staring a little at Friday. She's not even the worst thing Chrissy has witnessed recently, and yet, she's having a little trouble wrapping her head around what she's seeing.

"I'm sorry, but... I think I do need you to show me how to work a life vest."

Can't Stop Screaming

The theater is kind of disappointing, if only because it seems like nobody ever hangs out there. It doesn't stop Chrissy from checking periodically, but she's apparently just fortunate enough to check at times when it's deserted. It occurs to her to ask someone, but she's easily distracted- easily overwhelmed by everything else that's going on.

The first time she spots the chandelier, she's across the room. She doesn't even realize it's there until after it's started to fall. After that, she's careful to keep an eye out even if there's no rhyme or reason for where and when it shows up. The most unnerving part, though, is the sing-songy voice that always accompanies the crash. It takes her a couple of times witnessing it happen before she realizes she recognizes the rhyme.

The next time, she's prepared with a quiet "... we all fall down."

Infinite Spirit Halloween

Halloween used to be one of Chrissy's favorite holidays, back before she discovered that monsters were real and could very much come after her. Now, though, she's not entirely sure how she wants to feel about it. Generally speaking, she knows that her experience isn't universal. She knows that not everyone was seeing and hearing things that shouldn't be there, that not everyone is an easy target.

Currently, she's browsing the store. Chrissy's pretty sure it used to be something else, or maybe it was a different type of store altogether. Maybe she wishes it hadn't changed, so that she could see what was in stock before. It bugs her, too, that it's apparently October here when it had been March back home. How much time has passed since then? She has no idea. Maybe this place just works differently.

Choose Your Own

[Wildcard it up if none of the above are doing it for you. Feel free to hit me with brackets if that's your preferred format. You can also catch me at cornyflake or CornyFlake#7375 to plot some nonsense- or just to chat!]

Spirit Halloween

[serialskiller]

On the one hand, Murderbot remembers the other Chrissy who was here. On the other, it's actually aware this might be a divergent one from another timeline. Still, still, it approaches with a certain caution, a figure built like it belongs in a military propaganda poster, but dressed in a yellow dinosaur hoodie that manages to be big on it, paired with cargo pants and stompy work boots.

"Careful going too far into the store. It's easy to get lost."

That's safe enough, right? She'll let it know if she remembers it.

before she hung up

[pinballer]

"Don't bother. I think she's broken or something."

Vance was just kind of wandering around, having forgotten all about these stupid demonstrations, until he ran into a new arrival. So, the captain can't be bothered to clean up their messes anymore but he can keep dragging people here? Figures.

"...But I, uh, kind of didn't pay attention when she showed me how to work it, so I can't help you there."