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TEST DRIVE MEME #8

1. but times have changed for sailors these days
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit
[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.
the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...
and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?
yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]
3. that American creation on which I feed
[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.
the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.
the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]
Max Brinly || The Quarry || OTA
1. but times have changed for sailors these days
[ Max wakes up covered in pungent blood for uh, the third time in three months? So that's a thing that sucks.
He also wakes up in a bed, and though the bed now smells really, really bad (see: blood, above), it has covers and a soft mattress, and isn't in a prison cell, soooo... ]
Huh. Upgraded to first class.
Uuuhh... Laura?
[ Laura is not there. ]
Uh... shit.
[ Oooookay. Time to figure out where he is, then. Judging by the porthole and the view beyond it, a boat?? Max isn't sure how to square this with the treehouse where he uh... went away, but if the plan went perfectly, then he didn't hurt anyone, and Laura succeeded, and she's safe around here somewhere. So in the absence of other evidence, he's going to... hope that everything went perfectly, and the boat thing is some kind of ad-lib?
Yeah. Let's go with that.
He finds the cabin's bathroom before he finds the note, and... you know what. There's a shower here. And there's morning light streaming in from outside, meaning he probably isn't in danger. Probably. Well, maybe the normal kind, but at least not the somebody's-sudden-death kind.
Anyway. Max climbs into the tub, and takes the nicest shower he's had in two months.
-
All this to say: one of the newcomers standing there stunned post-drill is dressed in ill-fitting beach clothes that he found in a wardrobe (sorry, uh, if those were anyone's), and he smells like shower gel, and his red hair is still damp. And he feels absolutely baffled and vaguely, deeply freaked.
If you're nearby, he'll turn to you, wearing a lei round his neck and an out-of-his-depth expression on his face. ]
Hey, uh........
What just happened?
2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit
Aaaaaahhh!!
[ Enjoying a nice meal in the buffet or perhaps one of the restaurants? Not any more you're not, because a young man in too-small Tommy Bahamas has just burst in through the door in a panic.
When he spots somebody in here, he kind of jogs in place for a second, not wanting to stop but not wanting to go without warning them either. His flip-flops lasted for roughly three seconds after he started running, and now his bare feet smack on the floor. ]
Look out, man! There's a freaking piano!
[ This explains everything.
And then it bursts in behind him, three times as wide as the door and taking chunks of the wall with it, snapping its sharp teeth. ]
Wildcard
[ Max will be poking around the ship with the attitude of a very confused and lost puppy. If he sees someone human, or apparently human, he'll pause, and then give them a confused and lost wave. If he sees someone obviously nonhuman, he will gawk like an idiot. Feel free to wildcard in and encounter him wherever! ]
01.
with her hands on her hips, jinx sees max turning her way to ask his question. a trickery smile is on her as she cocks her head to the side.)
Hm? What happened? — Oh y'know, this and that. Here and there.
(this elaborates nothing.)
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[ This girl must have seen Gal Friday's smooth blank face. Right? Max feels crazy just saying it out loud, but he definitely saw that. ]
Face... off?
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(out of her ass because she talks a lot of shit. in jinx's opinion, anyway.)
But hey! She ain't all that bad. Sometimes she gives us stuff.
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[ Max is no stranger to making stupid jokes in dire situations, but he's not really feeling that one, thanks to the whole... everything... that's kind of overwhelming him right now.
He puts a hand on his forehead, the classic image of a man with no clue. ]
Like, I've got to be imagining... at least eighty-to-ninety percent of this, right? Either I'm high or... there's sound waves that make your brain freak out... [ he doesn't know if those are actually a thing, but they were in a videogame so they probably exist. ] Or something.
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so instead of trying to convince max verbally this current situation is real, jinx reaches over to his personal space and pinches him pretty hard on the cheek. it's a tactic she uses sometimes on herself if she thinks she is in a place she is not meant to be in.)
lmao i love her
[ Max steps back, and puts his hand to his cheek, with an expression of... anger is way too strong. Annoyance is closer. He looks put-out, like a dog who's confused that its stick didn't actually get thrown. ]
Pinching is for when you think you're dreaming, come on! Walking around seeing things is, I dunno, a bucket of water or something?
[ Did Max think through the thing he is saying? No. Not on any level, ever. ]
she is a crazy nut, this one.
(because if pinching isn't going to convince him, a bullet going in the skin while being in excruciating pain might do the trick. and if any other crewmate gives her lip about this, at least she can say that she asked first before mindlessly shooting. it's a step up how she use to be!!)
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[ WHAT.... he just spent two months being menaced with a gun by a cop, and now he's going to be menaced with a gun by a TikTok cosplayer? No thank you. (Max assumes, incorrectly, that Jinx's pink eyes are contact lenses.)
She's got to be posturing, right? He's pretty sure they don't allow guns on cruise ships. (He's pretty sure they don't have faceless people who talk from every direction at once on cruise ships either.) ]
Okay, first, I'm pretty sure that only works in Fight Club? And second, [ emphatically, loudly, just to highlight this point ] No!
FUCKING TIKTOK COSPLAYER KILLED ME.
(ignoring that there are non-violent ways to do this. like just saying this is real, for example. in a huff, she cross her arms over her chest as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other. jinx is beginning to wonder if she should just bail on the guy and have him figure all of this himself.)
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[ His hands are raised in surrender. Who is this mean little girl and where are her parents!! ]
Sure, you know... faceless lady, spooky unlocking door, the walking thing, everyone's fashion choices... very normal. Very cool. Nothing Stephen King about this at all.
So... truce? Alright? [ Look at this nervous smile. How can you say no to this face. ]
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SO! You gotta name? If I had to guess, you look like a "Marvin" to me.
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1
She'd found Chris Hackett, been on the cusp of fixing everything, and she wakes up. Despite the unfamiliar surroundings, she has one fleeting, desperate thought that she'd dreamed it all, that she and Max haven't left yet, and that their summer as camp counselors still lay ahead. Of course, that's too good to be true. This is real, somehow.
She allows herself only a moment of panic before she gathers herself and sets out to find out why this is happening. She goes to the orientation. Sets her jaw and clenches her fists and starts weaving the beginnings of a plan in her mind, how she might get back to where she's supposed to be. (She also wonders if she's just completely lost it. The woman without a face is... something.)
And then a familiar voice reaches her ears and all the tension she had building inside snaps as she spins around with a wide grin. ]
Max? [ she blurts out his name in a delighted half-laugh, still grinning as she goes to throw her arms around his neck. It should be noted that she does not smell like shower gel, and if her hair is damp it's definitely thanks to sweat. ] You're here! Holy shit, I thought... I don't really know what I thought.
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[ Holy shit she's alive and she's okay and she's here and she's so beautiful and she smells absolutely godawful but he doesn't care because she's alive--
Laura's arms are around him, and his around her, and it happens a bit too fast for him to really register and take in what's different (or, rather, what's suddenly back to normal) about her face before it's out of his field of vision. And as they embrace, he knows exactly what to say to express his love and relief: ]
You, uh, got us cruise tickets while I was hunting squirrels...?
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[ She pulls back to look at him, keeping her arms looped loosely around his neck. Her magical regrown eyeball isn't even among the forefront of her thoughts right now or else she might mention it. ]
I like the outfit, by the way.
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First reaction: that's good! She's not hurt!
Second reaction: Max, you moron, that's bad; think about the only way that could have happened. Think about what that would mean.
Third reaction: SWERVE TO AVOID. ]
Oh, this little number? Thought I should dress for some fun in the sun.
[ ...No. No, he can't avoid this, actually. So the jokiness finally slips a bit, and under it Max sounds. Worried. ]
Your eye looks... way better.
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[ There's no easy way to say "I fucked up and you bit me." So... she won't. Not yet, anyway. ]
Would you believe me if I said it turns out it wasn't that bad? [ Her tone dips into something bordering on somber as all traces of lightheartedness evaporate.
This isn't good. She hasn't allowed herself to think about it yet but if the two of them are stuck on a cruise ship with all these other people? Calling it a recipe for disaster is the understatement of the century. ]
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[ Max's heart isn't in the joke. But he's not yet thinking about how this would turn to disaster on a ship; he still hopes that Laura's mission was a success. No, he's thinking more along the lines of: "was it Chris Hackett that did this? Or was it me?" ]
Did...
[ Laura's darker mood feels like kinda his fault, since he brought up the subject, and he should counteract that somehow, but he can only stare at the place where deep raked claw-marks aren't. His voice, like hers, is drained of humour now. He doesn't want to know, but he has to. ]
Did I...
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It wasn't you, Max. It — [ She stops short of finishing the sentence. They don't need to rehash the same conversation they'd had over her eye in the first place, so she takes a different route. She decides to be completely honest. ]
I messed up. I thought I killed Chris so I went back to get you but I was wrong. It turns out the whole werewolf thing is more of a Hackett family tradition than we realized. Chris wasn't the only one.
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It takes him a moment to catch up to what she's still saying. ]
W...wai...wait, wai... what?
[ Yikes! ]
But you... you went back and [ glance around. they are on a CRUISE SHIP ] got him, right? Like, we're not going to...
[ you know. ]
'Awooo'?
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He was right in front of me. I was looking right at him, and — [ she shrugs, shaking her head. ] — I woke up here.
So, yeah, Max. If we can't find a way off this ship it's going to be really bad. Like, really bad.
[ She knows Max knows but she can't help but stress how absolutely not good this whole thing is for everyone involved. ]
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Oh shit, [ he says. Because yep. He knows.
And then he stares at Laura like she'll have answers. If there's a way to solve this she'll be able to figure it out, right? ]
What the hell do we do? Like, we should... tell someone, right? Maybe they'll turn the ship around? I mean how did we even get on board without anyone noticing, like-- what, we both wolfed out, and then ran up the gangplank, and then tucked up in bed pretending to be grandma until we both woke up? And why is this ship so fucked up??
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[ In any normal circumstances, walking right up to somebody and informing them that you and your partner are both werewolves would almost definitely result in your typical "are you out of your (very long loading screen) goddamn mind?" situation. But this ship isn't normal. Laura had been compelled to walk to this drill against her will. There's a woman without a face. Even the people around them look like a mishmash of different times and different places. Come to think of it, now that she's taking a proper look around she realizes Max is the only one in sight who looks like he's here for a cruise. ]
I don't know, [ she finally says. Her words are terse though her tension isn't directed at Max. ] I don't think we should tell anyone. We have a month before it'll be a problem, right? And if we can figure this out we'll be long gone before we ever have to worry about it.
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2
( is ryan's first reaction, because it's not too often that people scream at him, though it's been growing more common by the day. maybe it's something in the air, or the fact that he's spent his summer at the worst camp ever.
then, yeah, he's hit with debris from the force of the piano's entrance. )
Oh. ( a beat. ) Aaaaaaah! What the fuck is that, dude?!
( he doesn't know the dude, but he warned ryan about the piano, and he looks just as scared as ryan does, so he must be a good guy who isn't in cahoots with the killer piano with teeth that bite.
ryan throws his plate with half-finished pasta at the instrument for all the good it does. )
What did you do to piss it off???
( yes, everyone knows that pianos come to life upon being angered by humans. totally not the wrong question to ask here at all. )
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It's a violin, man. What does it look like?? And I didn't do anything, it just came at me!
Wait wait wait, I've got an idea--
[ And he kind of. Puts his arms out and starts backing away slowly. Like, you know, a raptor trainer or whatever? But about a million times less sure that he's not about to get eaten. ]
Hey, shhh. Shhhhhh. Good piano. Goooood... grand piano.
[ The piano roars in a perfect C minor scale. Perhaps Max's idea is bad actually.
Then it recovers itself and charges, and Max screams and throws himself out of its way over the top of one of the buffet counters, taking metal lids and spoons to the floor with him. Yeah his idea was definitely bad actually!! ]