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TEST DRIVE MEME #8
1. but times have changed for sailors these days
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit
[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.
the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...
and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?
yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]
3. that American creation on which I feed
[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.
the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.
the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]
no subject
It takes him a moment to catch up to what she's still saying. ]
W...wai...wait, wai... what?
[ Yikes! ]
But you... you went back and [ glance around. they are on a CRUISE SHIP ] got him, right? Like, we're not going to...
[ you know. ]
'Awooo'?
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He was right in front of me. I was looking right at him, and — [ she shrugs, shaking her head. ] — I woke up here.
So, yeah, Max. If we can't find a way off this ship it's going to be really bad. Like, really bad.
[ She knows Max knows but she can't help but stress how absolutely not good this whole thing is for everyone involved. ]
no subject
Oh shit, [ he says. Because yep. He knows.
And then he stares at Laura like she'll have answers. If there's a way to solve this she'll be able to figure it out, right? ]
What the hell do we do? Like, we should... tell someone, right? Maybe they'll turn the ship around? I mean how did we even get on board without anyone noticing, like-- what, we both wolfed out, and then ran up the gangplank, and then tucked up in bed pretending to be grandma until we both woke up? And why is this ship so fucked up??
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[ In any normal circumstances, walking right up to somebody and informing them that you and your partner are both werewolves would almost definitely result in your typical "are you out of your (very long loading screen) goddamn mind?" situation. But this ship isn't normal. Laura had been compelled to walk to this drill against her will. There's a woman without a face. Even the people around them look like a mishmash of different times and different places. Come to think of it, now that she's taking a proper look around she realizes Max is the only one in sight who looks like he's here for a cruise. ]
I don't know, [ she finally says. Her words are terse though her tension isn't directed at Max. ] I don't think we should tell anyone. We have a month before it'll be a problem, right? And if we can figure this out we'll be long gone before we ever have to worry about it.
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Alright. Yeah. Good idea. [ As usual, Laura is basically the Brain to his Pinky. ] Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll stop and kick us off somewhere? I mean... we don't have tickets, right?
[ Yeah about that: ] ...Although I guess that... didn't stop us from getting on board. Which is still weird, by the way.
[ Beat. A thought is occurring to him. For some reason, though, he decides that the best way to phrase it is: ] If we dock at Kisaragi Station, though, I'm out.
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[ Her eyes linger on the faceless woman for a second before she looks back at Max, hands on her hips (because apparently my new type is people who stand like this). Her frustration has dropped several degrees from boil to simmer for now but she's still on high alert, ready to fight-or-flight at a moment's notice. ] I was going to say it'd be a little hard for a ship to dock at a train station but honestly, I'm not so sure. I'd believe anything at this point.
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Yeah, and it's... not helping the whole 'public transport to hell' vibe.
[ 'Max a cruise ship isn't public transport' he knows he knows he knows he's trying to make it easier for them not to freak out okay ]
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How often do cruise ships dock? Like every two days or something? We can handle that.
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[ ...good one Max, so much for trying to lighten the mood.
He suddenly very much feels the need to justify that weird downer, so: ]
I mean, it's already broken, like, a bunch of cruise ship rules. I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to take control of people's legs even in international waters.
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[ Actually yes. She likes this idea a lot more than she thought she would. ]
I mean how hard can it be, right? We've already assaulted a police officer and broke out of jail. [ nevermind that said officer was completely the one in the wrong there. ] What's a little grand theft... nauto?
[ You know, grand theft auto, grand theft nauto. Nautical. Boats.. No? Maybe not. ]
no subject
Oh, shit, that's actually a great idea.
[ The joke could use some workshopping, but the idea is great! ]
You charm a guard to distract them. I sneak in and hotwire the boat. And we're away before you can say 'who let the dogs out'.
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It's enough that she's smiling again, at least. ]
Whoa, don't get ahead of yourself, babe. I was thinking I would do the hotwiring while you charm the guard.
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He grins and puts one hand on his hip, the other on his cheek, and vogues. ]
Yeah? You think they'll go for the 'my dad's beachwear shrank in the wash' look?
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But now that she's actually looking at his outfit and his general cleanliness it hits her that he looks a lot different than the last time she'd seen him. Like besides the werewolf thing. ]
Wait. Did you take a shower?
[ Not that there's anything wrong with that but she doesn't know whether she should be impressed or what that he took care of that before anything else upon waking up on this magical mystery tour. ]
no subject
[ Absolutely no shame about it. ]
I always come back feeling like I crawled out of one of those pods in The Matrix, it's nasty.