TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

the middle one...!

[agronomy]

( Oh, that's interesting. Tighnari is... taking some notes, apparently, or at least scribbling in his notebook as he inspects some of the setup in this shop, but his ears swivel in Shen Qingqiu's direction when he hears a voice speak up. By the time his eyes follow, actually getting a good look at him, his surprise is probably evident in the way they widen for a moment before he begins to step over. )

For the occasion, yes, if I'm not mistaken. Something tells me that you don't need any help with a frightening costume for Halloween though.

( What with that bloody robe of his, the limp, the guy in front of him isn't looking too hot right about now. Tighnari, too, has no real options in clothing other than what he arrived in, so he's still fully decked out in his forest ranger wear. But between the two of them, he supposes one might be more urgent than the other in terms of finding an alternative. Even before that though, he has to ask: )

If you need medical attention, I've found there's an infirmary on board and I'm happy to assist.

[originalshen]

[He'd only really noticed another person out of the corner of his eye at first, but once he's spoken he does turn his head slightly to see...ears? Big inhuman ears, on a kid in a weird foreign outfit.

....Y'know what, sure. He's been through enough at this point it's hard to really care about something that trivial.]

And why would you think I want a costume for...Halloween?

[He saw the sign on the store! He thought it was the store's name?? Shen Qingqiu pauses a moment upon hearing the mention of an infirmary, carefully not reacting in any particular way aside from an aborted twitch of the fingers.]

If you could direct me to this infirmary, I would appreciate the assistance - though I question what facilities it might have in a place like this.

[agronomy]

( Oh. Perhaps he hasn't caught on to the whole Halloween thing yet? Ah well, no worries there—it seems that Tighnari had the right idea in any case. )

From a glance, it seemed to be outfitted with the kind of medicines you'd expect to find in the city. If it doesn't have what we need though, I'm sure we can improvise.

( That is, after all, what a forest ranger does best. Tighnari may not have majored in medicine, but he is confident in his understanding of where the organic compounds that end up refined into pharmaceuticals come from, so it shouldn't be such a problem as long as things are properly labelled. Really, more of a concern to him is the potential severity of this man's injuries.

Tighnari's tail flicks twice in curiosity—right, then left as he turns to gesture back to where he came from, looking to the man and tilting his head to indicate the direction in which he should follow him. )

How were you injured? If you need any help getting there, I'm happy to lend you my shoulder.

[originalshen]

[Shen Qingqiu nods at the confirmation, folding his arms as his gaze inadvertently begins to follow the swish of the stranger's tail.]

Thank you for the offer, but I'm not quite so weak yet that I cannot walk on my own. [He may be weak! And a little bit off-balance! But he can still theoretically make it to wherever this infirmary is without falling over!!

And as for that question—] ...If it's alright with you, I'd rather not speak of the hows and whys of my condition at present.

[agronomy]

( Tighnari seems to consider the answer for a moment, tilting his head back and forth as he weighs it in his mind. Sure enough though, he'll meet the other's eyes with his own being rather expectant, as there's at least one thing he does want to clarify regardless of the man's private affairs. )

I'll be direct then: is there anything I should know about what injured you? I can accompany you back, but if there's a risk involved then I want to be aware ahead of time.

( To be frank, he doesn't care if it was a lover's spat, a deal gone wrong, or a rishboland tiger—but he can't do a very good job as an escort if he doesn't know the level of risk associated with the walk there. )

[originalshen]

[A smart one, this. Shen Qingqiu makes no notable response at first, staring back with a neutral look on his face. After a moment of silence, however, he does give a reply.]

...It was a beast, nothing more. If you are worried about safety, I can assure you that all injuries were sustained before I arrived in this...place. [And if this place is actually under the beast's control, that would make this stranger a part of it and therefore safe regardless.]