TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

Original Shen Qingqiu | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

[originalshen]

1. [Shen Qingqiu has no idea what's going on - but that's to be expected, right? More of note is the fact that he's wandering barefoot around the ship, limping slightly, dressed in nothing but a ragged and bloody white robe. If he entered the atrium it was just long enough to see the frazzled figure inside before heading right back out again, but otherwise he seems content just to wander with an almost dead-eyed look on his face...or as dead-eyed as one can look with only one eye.

As for what's going through his head - maybe this is the afterlife. Maybe death for sinners is a weird-looking ship of horrors. Not that he remembers being all that close to dying just yet, but hey, he can't think of any better explanations at the moment. Nightmare dreamscape, perhaps? Yeah, that's probably more likely, now that he thinks about it.]

3. [What's this? A clothing store? Exactly what he needs! Except from the looks of it there's not actually anything worth wearing in the place. Weird suits, too-short skirts, masks that look far more gimmicky than useful...he pulls a sexy mailman costume off the rack, the expression on his face showing much more confusion than anything else.]

...Are people really expected to wear these? [he asks, since you've been so kind as to step within earshot.]

2. [Let's say he found a kimono at the costume store, with sandals and a cheap eyepatch probably stolen off a pirate costume - and is now staring with narrowed eye at the chandelier floating without support above the buffet. When it falls, he moves with a nimbleness one might not have expected from his behavior so far, quickly dodging a flying piece of shattered crystal before turning to serve himself some smoked salmon.]

What a nuisance. [...is all he says, before trying a sip of coffee and immediately grimacing at the taste.]

the middle one...!

[agronomy]

( Oh, that's interesting. Tighnari is... taking some notes, apparently, or at least scribbling in his notebook as he inspects some of the setup in this shop, but his ears swivel in Shen Qingqiu's direction when he hears a voice speak up. By the time his eyes follow, actually getting a good look at him, his surprise is probably evident in the way they widen for a moment before he begins to step over. )

For the occasion, yes, if I'm not mistaken. Something tells me that you don't need any help with a frightening costume for Halloween though.

( What with that bloody robe of his, the limp, the guy in front of him isn't looking too hot right about now. Tighnari, too, has no real options in clothing other than what he arrived in, so he's still fully decked out in his forest ranger wear. But between the two of them, he supposes one might be more urgent than the other in terms of finding an alternative. Even before that though, he has to ask: )

If you need medical attention, I've found there's an infirmary on board and I'm happy to assist.

[originalshen]

[He'd only really noticed another person out of the corner of his eye at first, but once he's spoken he does turn his head slightly to see...ears? Big inhuman ears, on a kid in a weird foreign outfit.

....Y'know what, sure. He's been through enough at this point it's hard to really care about something that trivial.]

And why would you think I want a costume for...Halloween?

[He saw the sign on the store! He thought it was the store's name?? Shen Qingqiu pauses a moment upon hearing the mention of an infirmary, carefully not reacting in any particular way aside from an aborted twitch of the fingers.]

If you could direct me to this infirmary, I would appreciate the assistance - though I question what facilities it might have in a place like this.

[agronomy]

( Oh. Perhaps he hasn't caught on to the whole Halloween thing yet? Ah well, no worries there—it seems that Tighnari had the right idea in any case. )

From a glance, it seemed to be outfitted with the kind of medicines you'd expect to find in the city. If it doesn't have what we need though, I'm sure we can improvise.

( That is, after all, what a forest ranger does best. Tighnari may not have majored in medicine, but he is confident in his understanding of where the organic compounds that end up refined into pharmaceuticals come from, so it shouldn't be such a problem as long as things are properly labelled. Really, more of a concern to him is the potential severity of this man's injuries.

Tighnari's tail flicks twice in curiosity—right, then left as he turns to gesture back to where he came from, looking to the man and tilting his head to indicate the direction in which he should follow him. )

How were you injured? If you need any help getting there, I'm happy to lend you my shoulder.

[originalshen]

[Shen Qingqiu nods at the confirmation, folding his arms as his gaze inadvertently begins to follow the swish of the stranger's tail.]

Thank you for the offer, but I'm not quite so weak yet that I cannot walk on my own. [He may be weak! And a little bit off-balance! But he can still theoretically make it to wherever this infirmary is without falling over!!

And as for that question—] ...If it's alright with you, I'd rather not speak of the hows and whys of my condition at present.

[agronomy]

( Tighnari seems to consider the answer for a moment, tilting his head back and forth as he weighs it in his mind. Sure enough though, he'll meet the other's eyes with his own being rather expectant, as there's at least one thing he does want to clarify regardless of the man's private affairs. )

I'll be direct then: is there anything I should know about what injured you? I can accompany you back, but if there's a risk involved then I want to be aware ahead of time.

( To be frank, he doesn't care if it was a lover's spat, a deal gone wrong, or a rishboland tiger—but he can't do a very good job as an escort if he doesn't know the level of risk associated with the walk there. )

[originalshen]

[A smart one, this. Shen Qingqiu makes no notable response at first, staring back with a neutral look on his face. After a moment of silence, however, he does give a reply.]

...It was a beast, nothing more. If you are worried about safety, I can assure you that all injuries were sustained before I arrived in this...place. [And if this place is actually under the beast's control, that would make this stranger a part of it and therefore safe regardless.]

1

[naivecyan]

( This place... is amazing, or could be if Aerial was here with her. She's torn between being flabbergasted at every little thing, but also disheartened by the loss of her sibling. When it comes to sharing in new experiences, it was always want to be with Aerial, but here she is standing like a deer in the headlights as she spins in a 360-circle to take in her surroundings.

It's almost like a space station, but not... it's almost like she's snuck on Earth.

It's almost like... she snuck... on Earth. )

Ahhhh! Noooo!!! She'll eat me alive!!

( Miorine would slaughter her right where she stands if Suletta touched base with Earth before her. Really, this has to be some intricate dream because she couldn't be here without Aerial to begin with! That's when Suletta starts in a dash, running through the halls until she's gone through atrium doors.

She needs help waking up! It's when she finds someone who appears to be worse for wear that she stops, hands to her mouth as though to keep her from blurting out from shock. Is this a nightmare!? It's his tattered robes and bloody marks smeared onto the fabric that she just can't take it anymore! )

It's a really bad dream! Say it with me!! And we'll get out of here!!

[originalshen]

[Shen Qingqiu was simply minding his own business! Checking out the area! And suddenly a strange lost child bursts into the room, stares at him in terror(?), and--who's she even talking to??

He gapes for half a second in somewhat confused offense, then pauses to glance down at himself...alright, sure, he hadn't really considered what he might look like right now, but it makes sense he'd probably be pretty scary in this getup. Not that he chose this?]

...And how do you propose we leave?

[She's talking to him, right? Right!?]

[naivecyan]

( If it's a nightmare and they have to get out of here then the best way would have to be... she didn't think that far. Suletta looks on in horror because people in dreams shouldn't know they're in a dream right? Or she shouldn't be aware it's a dream, either way, this is pretty interactive. If it didn't feel so realistic, she believes that she could enjoy herself, but without Aerial or any of her friends— she needs to wake up, she has homework she's missing!

This dream man she has never seen before so he must be a manifestation of what? She doesn't know too much about dream reading, but because of how he looks... maybe something dangerous? That could be a sign. )

You jump from a really high place and before you hit the ground, you wake up!

( Nailed it. )

[originalshen]

[Shen Qingqiu's bloodstained face falls into a frown at her answer, his single remaining eye narrowing in stern disapproval.]

...And if you didn't wake up? Are you willing to risk death just to test this assumption of yours?

[Because that sure sounds like an incredibly stupid idea to him! And as someone who's half-dead already you might wanna trust him on that.(?)]

[naivecyan]

I-I-It's not about the dying! If this is... really a dream then...

( her words begin to lower, worry and concern winning over as she retreats to a more submissive state. she must not do too well with people being bolder than her. )

If you don't have an idea, we're back at stage one, so we have to try something...

( besides, where's his idea at!?!? )

[originalshen]

If this is really a dream, then you would indeed be able to shock yourself awake. If it isn't...you're certainly allowed to try regardless, if you're willing to take that risk.

[He's always been a rude guy, okay? You give him fodder, he's gonna call you out!]

It's better to treat our situation as reality for now, and explore the area for some clues as to how we got here. [Not that he's particularly eager to get back to where he was before, but hey, having a goal is a little better than wandering around aimlessly.]

[naivecyan]

( If!? It has to be considering she's not supposed to be here! She's supposed to be at school with her friends, she never finished filling out the list of things she wants to do! Especially when she got the chance to cross off exchanging numbers with someone...

She doesn't want to make an entirely new list here! Even though that sounds fun. )

O-Okay!

( Yeah, he makes her kind of nervous. She doesn't mind jumping from a high height to see what comes from it, but logical and rational is best for situations like this. Miorine would say the same while calling Suletta an idiot in the same breath.

Wait, moving too fast. Extending her hand out to the other, she stands at attention while trying to meet him eye to eye. She's like 5'7" so cut her some slack. )

I'm Suletta Mercury, I hope we can get along.

[originalshen]

[Honestly, it being a dream is the most likely answer for him too, considering he was being held captive by a man with a mastery of dream manipulation, but like...this place is too weird even for a dream, okay? He's never seen the ocean before, but even if he had he's pretty sure ships don't look like this? The people are strange! The clothes are stranger! The structures are strangest of all!

Well no okay the clothes are weirder than the ship, probably. This is a split-second opinion, he's not gonna bother thinking harder than that. Also he's like 6' even so excuse the inadvertent one-eyed looming he's got going on as he...nods, staring at her extended hand with a questioning sort of look.]

My name is Shen Qingqiu. I hope we get along as well, Miss Mercury.

[They don't do handshakes in ancient China, okay?]