sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #7

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TEST DRIVE MEME #7

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.

physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

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[The blood could, equally, be made of code, but that's not something Ari's about to point out. No need to introduce any confusion. She knows she's real.] Right. I am going to try not to end up bleeding. I'm sure your friend - Tendi, did you say? - is competent enough, but I try to avoid infirmaries.

[Ari selects a bottle. Fruity red, with a label that means very little to her, because there's not one standardised calendar even for her sector, let alone wherever this place is meant to be, or represent. She returns to the table, sitting opposite him again, and takes a little rectangular box out from one pocket. A couple of taps on its side, and a corkscrew emerges from one end. She grins as she sets about getting the bottle open.]

Now that's almost exciting. Being part of the birth of a new currency. [She has no reaction to his talk of Hell, because to her it just sounds like an unknown, foreign place in the same way that Japan is, or Earth.] There could be a lot of opportunity there. [Not that profits really mattered, if you were stuck on a simulation sailing-ship, but it's the principle of it.]

Could you advise me, about the captain? Is he... capricious, that way? [Ghosts is clearly some programming nonsense, but a captain possibly being that unclear about punishing people - collectively, at that - is a big red flag in her eyes. It's true whether he's a real captain or just the individual responsible for this little bubble of theirs.] I mean to say, presuming I'm stuck here a while, is it a better idea for me to keep pushing to meet him, try to establish some line of communication, and reach an understanding? Or is it better, all things considered, to not attract his attention at all?

Good plan. [Dryly, because saying you intend to, and then actually doing so are different things.]

I think you still have it backwards. I created the currency for furtherance of my ambition, it wasn't a chance to exercise my ambition, I already had the most power I could accumulate.

[There's a small wince about the Captain.] The Captain is ignoring me, and that's fine. Everyone who knows him better says he's -- [An annoyed groan.] All of my flaws. It's... annoying. Childish, easily enthused about small things, treats everything like a game, sadistic, unsympathetic, seeking apotheosis and god-abilities while being able to divert gods' paths and put them here supposedly. But I have no idea for myself, because he either understands that is the easiest way to torture me, or I'm not worth his time. Oh, and he uses torture because he thinks suffering and despair is the easiest form to get energy from us. So it's probably easier if you subvert that. Unless you're a masochist, in which case I can offer you better than him.

[Ari sips at her wine - not bad - as he speaks, but his description of the captain makes her look up from her glass in disbelief.]

I'd have thought you far stronger than that. He ignores you, and you call it torture? It's a psychological trick. He wants you to think that he thinks you're unworthy, and for it to infuriate you, because he meets with others who don't have your status and accomplishments. It's an irritation, Oda, but if you're calling it torture, you aren't much of a sadist.

[That last is said lightly, to lessen the blow of the criticism. Ari takes another long, slow sip from her glass.]

You're also frighteningly self-aware. Here's my trouble. Everything you're telling me about the captain indicates it's in my best interests to stay well clear of him - but then you say you have those very same faults? How do I know you're not going to play some mind game with me for your own amusement?

I said it was fine! It's just the easiest way for him to deal with me. This way I don't try to torture him back. [Nods!]

[But he's pleased! He DOES have a lot of accomplishments. Somehow he was forgetting here where they are meaningless.] What makes you think I haven't started already?

[It's defensive, almost childishly so, but Ari isn't going to push at it. It seems to her that a lack of attention wounds his pride - but she has no reason either to try to harm him or to talk him round from it. It's not her responsibility.

That next remark gives her pause, though. What if he has? For all she knows, everything he has said to her so far has been a lie. Ari sighs. She's tired, and the worst part is that she's completely alone here. Savitskaya would know how to deal with this. Her captain would. Ari? She's trying to figure it out as she goes along.]

Maybe you have. It'd be an unsound decision, because I'll find out, and I'm much better as an ally than an enemy, but I don't know you. Maybe you don't make optimal decisions.

[VERY childish. And that's exactly right. His pride is his most obvious flaw, naturally. That's what it means to be the demon king of 6th Heaven.]

[Red eyes glitter with amusement.] It would be especially foolish given how I've constantly reinforced that you should check with others to verify the reality behind my statements and claims.

[Oh, but he was the Fool of Owari. Just not for things like this.]

On this, I think I am superior to the Captain. I had greater success in my past making allies rather than treating the multiple universes as only my enemy. [The easy choice: join Oda or die.] I even have friends now. [He's as proud of this as not killing anyone for 2 months. It's great.] I'm not sure you should avoid the Captain, you'll have to decide for yourself. Ask the others who've met with him. Though I will advise against violence on him, it doesn't work. Oh, and hugs are violence. I don't know if you already knew that.

[She nods.] That's so, but lies aren't the only game you might be playing. You and I have no contract between us. [They have no need for one, but in Ari's society, contracts are the building block of society, and breaking them is considered exceptionally wrong. No contract meant no obligation to behave in any particular way.] Maybe there's more to this than I can see, but you're the first person who has had any real time for me here, it'd be equally unsound for me to quarrel with you. I'll take you at your word until I have a reason to do otherwise.

[Ari has perhaps more respect for rank than she should have, so it says something about her that she thought it was far more likely she'd shoot this captain than hug him. Hugs? Really?]

Have no fear of that. I'm not exactly the hugging type. I'm not a needy child. Now, when you say it doesn't work, do you mean that if I shot him, he'd wake up again the next day, just as you say everyone else does?

[Hugs are a thing someone did, and Nobunaga wanted to desperately explain when he was trying to explain his own personal weaknesses, that is in no way what he meant.]

No, the bullets wouldn't do anything. Not even a physical death. Clarke Griffin is the next one you should speak with. She cracked him open with a lobster cracker, and he's just void inside.

The way to fight wormholes is not directly, you will just lose whatever is thrown at them. You must circle it and neutralize it. Determine what it's after, and create a balance that softens it out. Like a whirlpool.

I'm always playing many games at once. Would you like a contract with me?

[Ari shivers a little at the thought of cracking lobsters. Of course there would be people here who ate the flesh of other creatures, it was all so very pre-Lorentzen. It bothers her more than the void does.]

Generally speaking, wormholes don't want anything. You can't negotiate with them. Your choices are to go around, and stay safe, or to take a chance on sending something through. [She has to say that, but Ari can also see his real meaning, very clearly.] But you're right, in a way. If you don't know which to do, because the data's insufficient, then you stay at a distance, and observe, and carefully experiment.

What sort of contract would you be interested in?

Right now I don't have anything specific in mind, I suspect an opportunity will present itself more in the future. I'm interested in what you might desire, however.

Even though you don't believe in souls, the Captain does seem to anchor us with a thread connected to it. So be very careful in negotiations here on out. I've had a personal habit in the past of negotiating for things people dismissed as unimportant. I never let them regret it, but on this, I believe the Captain and I also differ.

It'd be fair contract if we agreed not to attack one another, for a start. [That's so basic that it can be agreed informally, but after all the talk of people bleeding and dying on the ship, one can't be too careful.] An offer of mutual friendship, goodwill without any other obligations just yet.

[The rest she nods politely at, but she's not really taking it seriously. If anything is going to stop her from selling her soul, it's the thought that the contract wouldn't be valid, since she doesn't have a soul to deliver.]

You're telling a Tradeliner to be careful in her contract negotiations? [Ari smiles.] I think I'll do fine. I've experience of negotiating trade deals with frontier colonies. Mutually beneficial, everyone's content with the outcome. [Reasonably content.]

[Nods slowly.] Can the contracts be mutually updated at later points? There was a "battle royale" the captain made everyone play to kill all each other with only one survivor. Although he supposedly follows the same rule as me; never to repeat the same tactics twice, there could be similar circumstances that can't be avoided.

[For all that Nobunaga isn't LiTeRaLlY from Hell, (he actually thinks he is now, yes) he still takes all this stuff seriously, because his anti-deism took a hard knock from meeting literal goddesses and the rest. If he has a soul, he figures, he really did let it get eaten by his inner demons to become the Demon King of 6th Heaven, and now is in a fight not to lose the rest to the Captain.] How long have you been at it? [She looks young, but looks can be deceiving.]

They can be dissolved by mutual agreement, yes. [Ari says this quietly. No need to mention that she wouldn't agree to dissolve a contract because someone wanted to play a cruel game. She'd force an alternative. As if her opinion of the captain couldn't get lower, too. That man can't really be command-qualified, behaving like that.]

[She is young. She takes advantage of the vagueness of the next question, because the answer she would give another Tradeliner is half a year. Half a year since she passed for lieutenant, and that's what's supposed to count - but he didn't ask how long since she qualified, specifically. He gets the answer that outsiders do when she thinks they're doubting her competence.] I've been out on the lines for about four standard years now.

Edited 2022-10-17 14:15 (UTC)

I wouldn't want to dissolve anything. [The Captain is not a leader, correct. That's what Nobunaga meant about being superior.] Protect my friends. I have a contract with my left hand at home to see our mission through completely, even if it means working against me. I can't promise I can't be -- [Thinks about magic, his soul being eaten, the rest.] controlled. Same as the Captain, I think people could compromise him in such a way. But in those instances; Commander John Crichton, and Klaus Hargreaves, protect them. I don't know if your contracts work like that, but that is how I would make mine. Their safety means more to me than my own.

[So he thinks she must be in her early 20s, maybe around the same age as Clarke Griffin, but older (he thinks!) than Ruby Rose and Jinx. Either way, he knows himself and his right & left hands at that age, and best leave it alone, she'd learn.]

[An uncomfortable look briefly crosses her features.] If I'm understanding correctly, that's a different type of contract. An agreement between the two of us, concerning only the two of us, I'll confirm right away. If you want me to protect your friends, what are you offering for it? Considering that they're strangers to me, and I'd be putting myself at risk.

[It's what their ships do for the colonies, in a way. The insured colonies. She doesn't object in principle.

She'd be pleased by his overestimation of her age if she knew it - knowing her she'll probably wreck it by someday mentioning how young she was when she signed up, but for now it's all good.]

[The mention of her age upon signing up wouldn't instantly connect in his brain, but he might someday realize she's actually younger than his Ranmaru later, and have a very confused reaction over it!]

[Nobunaga just grins about the contracts.] And so we come back to what you'd be interested in. Information is the most useful to me, but an exceptionally clever individual like you can get it fairly freely. [Also why he values Crichton and Klaus and April and a few others more than himself -- they are repositories of information, irreplaceable. Also his first two friends. Ever. A treasure that couldn't exist in his own world and time.] Ah, but I'm not looking for a bodyguard situation. Crichton was recently killed by something... [Just "yesterday" to Nobunaga.] So if it was a matter of preventing harm to reach them, I couldn't expect someone to outdo me. More like a defend yourself, but look out for them and aid however you can.

[All this gives him various insights. Even as drunk as he is - it's the games he warned her that he's ALWAYS playing. Clues to how her contract negotiations were probably not specifically with her, she was after all, a lieutenant to someone else. Educated in how to conduct it, yes, but her practical experience hadn't gone too far off of what was typical or expected.]

I'd also ask you to employ a bit of ninja arts so that neither of them are aware of what our contract entails or that they're being helped. [He has used ninjas, hired ninjas, and destroyed ninjas. Usually Mitsuhide handles the underworld so Nobunaga can stay the public face, but even with that, Nobunaga doesn't leave his left hand to make all maneuvers without Nobunaga at least making plenty of his own. Insurance for the future.]

[Exceptionally clever? Ari likes to think he's not far wrong, but that's also shameless flattery. Not always a bad negotiation tactic.]

My condolences. For Commander Crichton. [She's quite serious, a sign that she's beginning to accept the reality of all this. That these are people he cared for, not just names in impossible stories - and even if this man is coming back from the dead, that didn't mean that death stopped being something to feel sorrow over. That way lay madness.]

I'm not entirely familiar with ninja arts, but I can keep our contract secret, unless I'm asked directly. I can't outright lie about it, but I can arrange things so that I'm extremely unlikely to ever be asked the question. As for what I want? I don't know yet. I don't know enough about this place to say what will be of most use. Maybe we can put the negotiation on hold, until I can do it from an informed perspective?

[It's sensible to know your own limitations, and not rush a decision when there's no real urgency. He's also right about her - back home, Ari has the authority to open negotiations on behalf of her ship, and to carry them out, but someone more senior always has to sign off on the final deal, so she can't stray too far off-course in what she offers.]

[Red eyes dim softly and he nods.] Doumo. [He got so flustered and trying to make sure he got the words out, he said it without the translation kicking in. Nobunaga has no idea how to grieve. How can he be more upset over this one life than any others? His own brothers? He just falls into his old detached ways, but at least he's not fully snapped back, still letting himself be a little upset about it -- though more about "failing" his friend, even though he'd promised to protect Crichton from at least old foes.]

[All the same, at the last part, Nobunaga laughs softly.] Excellent, that would be my preference as well. Like I said, I've no doubt opportunities will present themselves.

Ninjas are not just assassins or warriors, they are also adept at being eyes and ears in places they are needed. [Spies, in other words.]

[Ari knows a handful of languages, but not that one. It doesn't matter; his face tells her all that she needs to know. This Crichton truly meant a lot to him. She nods in response to his explanation - all things considered, Ari would not make a very good ninja, but contract work she can do. Subtlety, she can manage when she needs to.

Feeling a slight chill in the air, she pours herself another glass of wine, and holds up the bottle, as if to offer some to her companion.]

Do you want to tell me about him? What did he have command of?

[If he doesn't want to talk about his fallen friend, Ari will shut up about it and change the subject without any fuss, but she does want to offer the opportunity.]

He's really cool! [Yes. Cool.] He's my first friend here... and ever. He's an astronaut, and before that a pilot. He designed the Farscape One module, and explained a lot about America, and caught me up five centuries on Earth. [And wormholes! Which he won't mention, ditto that the Farscape was designed to use gravity etc.] I was really lucky to meet him. He told me about karaoke, and Muppet movies. And he won the first drinking contest on the ship after 17 cups. I had to stop after only 9. [He has no idea if he's giving a weirdly skewed impression of the astronaut or not, but yes, Nobunaga really admires Crichton.] Every time I think something about this place or the people should be avoided, like the drinking game, or disco, or karaoke, or Muppets, he's right in the thick of it, making it sure it's cool and interesting, and ready to explain it even though I feel like a caveman with so many people centuries in my future taking things for granted.

He's a non-combatant though. Not a soldier, an explorer. Like Amerigo Vespucci. That's... an explorer from my times. America the continents and country are named after him. He wasn't a soldier either. And even though I'm so at odds with everyone here, and even in my own time, Crichton always treats me like... a regular person. No matter what my weird questions are, or how crazy I get, he just takes it in stride. [Nod nod.]

[It's not so much that she's getting a skewed impression of the man from Nobunaga as that she really doesn't understand much of what is being said. It feels like half of these words are unfamiliar to her, and even some of the familiar ones are odd in context. It would be rude to ask for clarification, when he's talking about his fallen friend with such enthusiasm. By now, Ari has set the wine bottle back on the table, and she takes a long sip from her second glass before she speaks.]

So he's... a civvy pilot? Civilian? Who took out a ship out and went exploring? That's very brave. I admire people with that sort of courage. And I'm glad that he was- [after a fractional hesitation] -kind to you.

[She sighs, because she knows she has to say something, or maybe he'll think she doesn't care.] Look, did I mention I was from Cardalek? All of this is way out-of-sector for me. I mean, I know a few drinking games, but I've never heard of Earth before, or Ameriga. Maybe that means I'm going to be at odds with everyone, too.

He designed it. Astronauts are the earliest Earth people to leave the planet. Our world. And he's not kind so much as... Refreshing.

[Nods.] Cardalek. There's a lot of other non-Earth people here. You'll probably be fine. It's a Demon King thing. [Squints and rubs between his eyes.] My title before here is Demon King of the 6th Heaven. For 1582, I was the most powerful man on Earth. It's fairly meaningless. But he was the first person to take it in stride, like it doesn't affect him. It's refreshing.

Tendi is green. [Debates mentioning Orion but eh... Just in case...] Earth is in the Milky Way Galaxy and I'm not sure what Universe. Crichton traveled to the far side of the universe away from Earth. So he might know planets like you're familiar with, but he didn't mention Tradelines. The only human looking people were the Peacekeepers, and their idea of peace means stasis. Regimented castes banning any change. There's other non-humans on board, deities, and cougars, and aliens, and trolls, but... [Shrugs.] I think you'll be fine. Things are a little more fucked up right now, so just keep your wits about you. You'll be fine.

[Tradeliners have their own way of doing things, but diplomacy necessitates respecting the customs of colonies all the way down the lines, even if they disagree with those customs. Ari's initial instinct, therefore, is to apologise for not treating him like a king - but she holds back, because she is listening, and it sounds as if he liked this man precisely because he didn't do that.]

Being the most powerful man on your planet isn't nothing, but it isn't everything, either. I know that, because my great-grandmother is Cardalek's majority shareholder. Its most powerful woman. [That's not something she'd tell everyone, and it's not something she'll volunteer the finer details of, not least because the situation is hopelessly complex, but right now she wants him to know that she isn't speaking in ignorance.]

It sounds as if this place has variety, if nothing else. Everyone here is probably an alien to me. You're right. I'll be fine. [She doubts it. He wouldn't have to keep repeating it, if it were true. But she's not his responsibility.]

[Yes, Demon King is not a title worthy of respect. It's meant to be a bad thing. Another reason he didn't use the title earlier, it's so complicated to explain.]

Shareholder. [It's a new word added to his little book of definitions.] You don't become Demon King by being a good person. Kind of the opposite. It means you defeat other Demon Kings and demons until you're at the top, and then everyone under you wants your head so they can get some of your power for themselves.

I know Crichton didn't know that, but that's why I like him, because it doesn't really change anything for him, and even if he only got that accidentally... he's right. [Nod!]

All right lieutenant new contract. I'll put you under my guard and guidance. The advantage for me is you can keep teaching me so I can get better at dealing with normal people.

What did your great-grandmother do with her shareholder power?

[What hadn't Miri Carrington done? She'd fought in the Breakaway War when she was scarcely older than Ari is now. She'd built up the Company until it was one of the largest and most powerful in the sector. She'd plotted and manipulated people until she got herself a 51% share, making any talk of shareholder voting rights laughable. And she'd created Ari. Ari, whose genemother hadn't wanted her. She doesn't know how much pressure Miri Carrington had put on her granddaughter to give the unloved embryo up to the genelabs for experimentation, and mostly she thinks it's better that she doesn't know.

Ari has exceptionally conflicted feelings about her great-grandmother.]

My great-grandmother runs the Company. That's Cardalek - the colony world, and the megacorporation. She has control over all the major decisions. She appoints the new Directors, and she has a lot of indirect power, too. Nobody wants to be cut off from trade with Cardalek.

[And that's quite enough about her, Ari decides.] I hear your proposed contract, but as I said, I'm holding off on negotiation until I get my bearings. [A diplomatic answer, because being under someone else's protection doesn't sit right with her Tradeliner pride. They've always been wary of outsiders.]

Tell me, did you decide to join this fight to become Demon King? Or was it forced on you? If you didn't fight your way to the top, would someone else have killed you? [Sometimes, in judging these things, intentions are critical.]

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