sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

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Wake up mysteriously some time ago and not quite sure 'ow you got here? [Just double checking that he's not the only one who's managed to drink himself under the table and found himself in this mess. Look he doesn't even care about the ghosts at this juncture. They're far less interesting than the mysterious bloke behind the curtains pulling all the strings.

They reach the bar and Constantine flags down their two whiskeys. He's enough of an arsehole to get her chair for her before plopping down into his own and slump-sprawling in it.]

What were you doing before you found yourself here?

"It's as big as you make it. At least in your case, you don't have anything else that everyone's used to calling you, already."

He could almost be jealous of that. Though he supposes here, that is the case for him as well. Here, he's only ever been Johnny Summer, and only ever will be.

Oh. Yeah. I already told another fella who said he'd died before he came on this little cruise to nowhere...

[He dodged a chair, moving surprisingly agile for a guy his size.]

I'm a demon. I was born dead, in the Netherworld. A few centuries back, my Ma got sore at me and cursed me to wander the Earth invisible with no human contact, unless someone summoned me.

But, these fellas seem to be able to talk to us and throw shit at our heads, so I'm not sure why they're so worked up.

HEY. [Beetlejuice gave him a withering look, the tips of his hair turning a little red. He launched into a gravel voiced rant, sounding as if he'd smoked twelve packs a day since birth.]

Maybe they're just as trapped as the rest of us. Maybe this is their ship. Also, announcing your plans, they're likely to mess with whatever you make and turn it against ya.

[He shrugged.] I mean, that's what I'd do. Maybe make a gameshow outta it. It works better on stage than on a ship, I'm sure, but, still. Entertainment is entertainment, y'know?

[ eh?

but robin has been quiet! in fact, he's pretty much made sure that he hasn't been making any of the usual sounds... too deep in thought. robin stops, looks around, then starts moving again. perhaps he should be more careful about he's stepping? ]

Sorry. I didn't mean to be loud.

[ he's not really in the mindset to dispute it. especially when he continues to think.

I should be more thoughtful. ]

"Many would, I'll have you know." Figures, she'd wind up somewhere new and instead of a proper vacation, it's got poltergeists. Par for the course, really. She wrinkles her nose in annoyance and shifts to try to get back to her feet

"That is getting annoying. Is there somewhere else we can go?" If John insists on bickering this out, she'd rather not risk a concussion.

"Obviously, you can't. The one welcoming us to Serena Eterna, dumbass."

[ perhaps they can get him one that has no alcohol if he likes the look of the drinks, regardless. As for his question about his kicking, Zhongli chuckles. ] It is a part of my martial arts training. When I was younger, I trained quite often and my master was very strict on form. I had to learn to be quite precise with my feet involving much heavier items. It is less about the force behind the kick and moreso where you make contact with what you are kicking. Even if you are not particularly strong physically, you could still kick quite effectively.

[ once they arrive at the pool bar, Zhongli looks around but doesn't see anyone around so he will move behind to where all the drink making supplies are and find the ice freezer. From there he searches for a dry and clean cloth they can wrap the ice in. ] Are you familiar with these drinks provided? They are quite colorful. [ they look nice, and Zhongli had never really seen such fantastic vibrant colors in such verity in drinks before. ] ... Although I imagine you are a bit young to have tasted them. Perhaps you have without alcohol, however?

...are ya gonna eat that?

[Beetlejuice had his own priorities as he got to his feet. He pointed at the coconut hopefully.]

Nah mate, you go on right ahead. Did they even take the top off? [It's hard work cracking a coconut open and although Constantine had been hit in the head with it, his skull isn't nearly hard enough to split it in half.]

You'd think they'd be considerate enough to fling a spoon while they're at it. Bloody wankers.

Not unless the answer is all of the above. [The last time that happened he found himself on the inside of the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane, sitting in one of Chilton's dunking booths while he lobbed balls in his direction hoping to make a splash.

It doesn't get more livelier than that, bur Will still has that to look forward to.]

It wasn't entirely altruistic, but you're welcome. [the other man vomiting would, in all likelihood end with his own vomiting and it would turn into an unproductive cycle, but he was honest about it, nevertheless.

Pointedly avoiding eye contact, so his companion didn't have to think about what his face was doing, Will adjusts his life vest (which is currently shouldered) to check his jacket pockets. His search upends a bottle of aspirin that he removes before shucking off his jacket and, though it was unsolicited, he deposited on the stranger's shoulders.

For both of their sakes.]

I was going to ask you the same thing but judging by [Will vaguely gestures at the nudity, the life vest, and the staggered posture in general] you're not used to these accommodations.

[Being abord a ship, that is.]

We're in the same boat...no pun intended [thumbing the cap of the bottle, he shook a few pills into the palm of his hand, popping them into his mouth before pocketing the bottle. He would need to get his bearings if they were going to figure anything out.]

The note said that this ship was called the Serena Eterna, peace everlasting, whether it's hyperbolic or a threat? [He didn't shrug, but it could be heard in his voice.]

"You couldn't catfish a poor sod here to save your life," John taunts. Nevermind that he does find her attractive. He finds everybody attractive, she's not any kind of over and above special, and she irritates the hell out of him. It would hardly put him in a sexy mood.

"Those the kind of cheap tricks you're resorting to to get an invite over to other people's places? Why don't you just invite me over to yours then, eh?" He would happily take the opportunity to turn her down although if he gets attacked by the ghosts again, he might reconsider hanging around in this pool area.

"So he doesn't know you're here then! You just abandoned your post. Oh I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear that!"

Thanks, fella!

[Beetlejuice merely took a bite out of the side of the coconut, smiling around the brown fibres.]

Spoons are for losers. That's why they're keeping 'em.

"Is that why you were grabbing my tits a second ago?" Of course he finds her attractive. Most do. But she has far too much self-respect to ever invite him anywhere private, annoying as he is.

Unless it's for a very different sort of ball busting, of course.

"Like I would step foot in your room or allow you in mine. I'd have to bleach the whole thing after you left... too much work." Pool area may be safer than say, the buffet. No one wants steaming hot food thrown in their face after all.

"It wasn't intentional!" He'll understand... probably. "Maybe I'll tag you back for old times' sake."

Only not really because how annoying would he be then?

[He doesn't usually get seasick - not that he spends that much time out on the water - but the floor bobbing along to the waves while he's nursing a headache and a terrible hangover would make anyone nauseous. He's a little envious of that bottle of pills, considering he's got nothing on him at all at the moment, but he does score a temporary jacket, so really he has nothing to be jealous about.]

Awful kind of ye', mate. I don't work 'ere, no. Not unless there's a stripclub or a magic show and - let's be honest luv, I'm all skin and bones. The wee hand luggage's not that oversized. I'd be a much better magician than a stripper. [If he has it, he would flaunt it, and even if he doesn't have it, he would try and flaunt it also. But John's under no illusion that he's not some muscular twelve inch bloke who would be appreciated strutting around with his arse and all his other bits hanging out like he's God's gift to mankind.]

You remember anything from last night? [He means before the other man was taken or brought onboard or whatever the hell happened, and not necessarily a dramatic retelling of everything that's happened, but John would sit through a long and thorough recount of a story if he'd brought that upon himself.]

You seem dressed to the nines, mate. Were you out somewhere? With somebody?

[... Huh. Okay. Roxanne holds up her temporary shield, letting a few cups and silverware and the like bounce off it as she rolls this information through her mind for a moment. She's known aliens and superpowers and all that but never demons or ghosts. Frankly she hadn't thought the latter two existed but that's what she gets for assuming anything apparently.]

That must have been rough. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[BUT! Now she peeks around her "shield".]

Still being invisible doesn't give anyone the right to be like this to strangers pulled into a bad situation. It's not like I wanted to be here, you guys!

Bloody 'ell mate. Have you not had anything to eat for a whole year or sommin'? [That's both disturbing but also morbidly fascinating to watch.]

Y'know they have better offerings at the buffet downstairs. [Or is it upstairs? He's still finding his way around.]

Mmmm---it worked out. Got summoned by my bffff forever.

[He tilted his head.]

We're basically an infestation to 'em, I bet. Like rats. Or roaches.

"They were right there in me face! What was I supposed to do? You were flashing them at me!" Of course he grabs them. She might as well have flashed a big red button in front of him and then complained that he pressed it multiple times.

"Right, right - you only want to have your way with men when they're brain damaged and skittish, eager to please you and 'yes milady' to everything you say." It's just too bad she didn't find him in that state again. He's an outright nuisance when he's impossible to control and he knows how much of a pain in the arse he can be. How much he can annoy her is actually something he wears with pride.

"I checked meself out of that hotel. You'll never have me back," he proclaims, also getting to his feet and folding his arms. "You're not the boss of anybody up 'ere, and you'd do well to remember that."

Hey, it's a vacation, right? Might as well enjoy tropical shit.

[Well. More or less. Cursed and haunted cruise ships were at the very least interesting. Lydia would love to hear about it.]

The shrimp's pretty good. And free booze. [He took another bite.]

[Awww that's kind of cute. ... The bffff thing, not the rats. Or roaches. Those make Roxanne wince.]

Great, good, I've always wanted to be a rat.

[The tired sarcasm to her tone speaks otherwise.]

I don't guess you've got any ideas about how to get them to stop throwing things maybe? Does reasoning work?

"I fell because you were being an idiot! There was nothing flashed at you!" And they didn't save him from falling and attempting to crush her either way, did they?

"Don't flatter yourself. I like to have my way with real men... unfortunately, there's not one around at the moment." Why he prides himself in being annoying is beyond her, honestly. This is why she has multiple little voodoo dolls of him to torment, you know.

"Oh, you'll always wind up in Hell and we both know that." She's confident in that one. There's a laugh at his warning.

"Oh? What will you do if I don't, John?"

[ ah, so that is what the "coffee" looks like. at her mention of the pots he glances to them and gives a smile and thanks for her info before going to where the pots are to pick one.

Sadly, if she was hoping to be left alone to her thoughts, Zhongli returns after a few minutes with an empty cup— and with a rather sheepish expression. ]

... Forgive me, but may I bother you to provide a recommendation of which one to try? I have never had this "coffee" beverage before, but it seems similar to tea, which I enjoy immensely. I imagine when you said "weak" you meant the strength of the brew is on the light side, however beyond that all the names means very little to me.

[ He's finding all the options a little overwhelming. His expertise is tea, not coffee, but it seems coffee has quite a few different types to it as well. Just, not quite the same way tea does. What is a "dark roast" versus a "breakfast blend" versus simple "hazelnut"?

please assist. ]

Dreams really do come true. It can be this cruise-line's catchphrase.

[He grinned and shook his head.]

No idea. I'm usually on the other side of this.

Free drinks are usually the best or the worst idea and I haven't decided what it's gonna be here just yet. [Probably not gonna be a good idea if he's planning on performing an exorcism anytime soon but he's inclined to just enjoy it while it lasts and worry about their wee ghost problem later.]

What are you, exactly? Other than very hungry of course...

Can't go wrong with a mai tai.

[He paused in his destruction of his coconut.]

Demon. From the Netherworld.

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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