TEST DRIVE MEME #9

[sailmods]

1. tidal waves out on the sea

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. I don't know where I'm-a gonna go

[something new has been set up at Friday’s desk. there’s a sign, but it’s not advertising the next excursion, or anything familiar like that. instead, it says, in big, bold letters, SUGGESTIONS AND COMPLAINTS, with a large downward-facing arrow below it, pointing at what looks to be an empty tissue box with the word “COMPLAINTS” hastily etched onto it. there is a pile of small slips of paper and some pens next to it, and Friday cheerfully informs you that you can submit anything you like, no consequences! and it’s weird that she has to specify, but, also, she really does, doesn’t she?

and there aren’t any consequences! the Captain doesn’t come out of nowhere and dome you instantly for the slight. Friday doesn’t give you the cold shoulder or a rude remark. now, an unidentifiable voice does start reciting your complaint or suggestion, with your name attached, over the loudspeaker at full volume every 20 minutes or so. but, that’s debatable as a consequence. probably. maybe. not actually.]

3. pretty soon we learn to fly

[this was one of the suggestions. apparently. that’s what Friday will say if anyone asks her about it. and they probably will. because surely there has to be some sort of reason why the floor in windjammer is, currently, lava.

like. actual molten magma-type lava, flowing in sluggish rivers around the tables and booths, the sections of the buffet. so, maybe you decide to go eat at one of the many other fine dining establishments aboard today, or at least until the floor decides to stop being lava. or, maybe you decide that those dinosaur chicken nuggets are worth the risk of life and limb. and thus, you climb, clamber, jump, leap - a perilous and terrifying journey, knowing you are only one false step away from an agonizing death.

until you fall in. and then you realize that, no, this is not actually lava at all, for all it looks exactly like it. it’s actually barely room temperature, and strangely watery. you taste sweetened tomato paste. it’s not death, but maybe that would have been a little bit better.

Comments

Wednesday Addams | Wednesday | OTA

[woefullymacabre]

I. The Floor Is Lava

[This entire cruise ship is a sickly set of colours everywhere she looks, but that’s unfortunately how the world works sometimes. However, a girl has to eat and today the buffet happens to be besieged by lava.]

Huh...lava.

[But for some reason, the temperature isn’t unbearably hot like one would expect in a volcano-like situation. Wednesday crouched down, keeping her long skirt back out of the trail of so-called lava, reached out and with a single finger, swiped some of it. It wasn’t hot.

She has no fear, she puts her finger in her mouth. Some kind of tomato sauce.]

It’s not even spicy!

[Wednesday looks somewhat disgusted.]

II. Passengers...

[Someone describing Wednesday might describe her as unsettling. She was dressed head to toe in monochromatic black, white and grey, a school uniform for those savvy enough to be familiar with Earth private schools, and thick, sensible boots. She appears to be staring off into the distance, or perhaps into the person’s soul.

She could not look any less thrilled to be there if she tried. Was she even blinking? It might not seem like it.

Anyone willing to approach someone staring at them in an unsettling manner chooses to do so at their own risk. She definitely doesn’t look warm and friendly, but also maybe a bit more in line with a denizen of the ship over a passenger.

Then again, she might reach out.]

Where’s the nearest port so I can get out of here?

III. Wildcard

[Choose your own adventure. I’m up for pretty much any location. Note: Wednesday has the capacity to have visions of a character’s past or future against her will – but not yours. I’m very open to her being bombarded with something of your choosing. It merely requires physical contact with her, or an item belonging to the character in question.]

II

[midnightroads]

[Forgive Bash his grimace at the question. He's of a goth-ish persuasion himself, his black t-shirt showing off a tattoo of a crow (or is it a raven?) on each shoulder, one holding a cross that reads HODIE, the other holding a banner that reads CRAS--Latin for 'today' and 'tomorrow'.]

The ship isn't actually on an ocean and isn't actually going anywhere, because it's a pocket dimension created by a pissed off magician who's using our negative emotions as fuel to pursue his own goals.

So, nowhere.

[woefullymacabre]

[ It takes a brief moment for Wednesday to process this information. ]

Sounds like torture. [ She could admire the sadism. She glances around briefly, tilting her head upward. ]

What kind of magic?

[midnightroads]

That's a great question. I can't answer it fully. I know that...a lot of what goes into what he creates is like. The belief that something should be a way, so when he makes it, it is that way?

Fuck, that sounds stupid.

[He pauses, gathers his thoughts, tries again. Skulduggery could do this better, or Palamedes. But she got Bash, this time.]

So, there aren't ports, but there's sometimes excursions to other pocket 'verses. Once, we ended up in a cute little mountain resort. And it was always snowing because the Captain knows it snows in places like that. He likes stories, y'know? Draws from them and their themes and ideas. Least, that's how I've heard it. The ship is how the ship is, because that's how ships are. So there's no engine, because he don't know how engines work, but there's the illusion of movement, because ships move.

Does that make sense?

[woefullymacabre]

Intent is a big part of magic. [ What Bash is saying makes sense, but the fact it's like an elaborate illusion is more perplexing. She reaches out and prods at the railing briefly. It's incredibly solid. ]

As much as anything else. [ Wednesday doesn't know otherwise, so she'll have to take Bash's words as truth to be proven at a later point. ]

I suppose that makes sabotage out of the question. [ If there's no engine, they can't break it. ]

[midnightroads]

Yeah. Anything you break on the ship will be fixed by the ghosts when you leave it be for long enough, anyway. It's a shitshow, but the people here aren't all awful.

[He shrugs.]

We're not all from the same universe, also. You might meet people from back in the timeline, forward along it, different worlds entirely.

[hellonspectacles]

[Wednesday isn't the only one brave enough, or foolish enough, to walk right over to the river of 'lava' and stick her finger in. A few feet away, Palamedes is doing the same, tasting the watery goo off his fingers and making a face.]

What an absolute waste of time.

[Sometimes the Serena Eterna is terrifying. Other times, it's just stupid.]

[woefullymacabre]

[ What's the worst that could happen? A delightful poisoning? Wednesday glanced over at the other brave soul brave enough to taste the lava. ]

I have no interest in cleaning this up.

[ Nor did she have an interest in getting sauce soaked into her clothes for no reason. ]

[hellonspectacles]

[The girl looks like something out of Sweet Valley Ninth House, if something like Sweet Valley Ninth House ever existed.]

Hm. I assume the ghosts will get to it eventually. [he ponders the river of sauce] …Maybe the Erda Flow had a tomato supply problem.

[woefullymacabre]

Ghosts huh. Well that's a pleasant surprise. [ Maybe she'll be able to communicate with the dead. She'll think about it. ]

There must be somewhere else with somewhat reasonable food on this ship.[ Cleaning tomato sauce off her skirt doesn't sound like a fun time. ]

[hellonspectacles]

[Interestingly enough, that’s what Pal had thought at first. He’d been quickly disappointed.] Don’t get your hopes up. They’re irritatingly silent. And when they do make their presence known—for anything other than serving food or cleaning up messes—they tend to get rather…murdery.

[Pal stands and brushes himself off.] There are a few options. I can show you? [He offers his hand to this odd, pinch-faced girl] Palamedes Sextus. You’ve arrived recently, haven’t you?

1

[dolcedeleche]

[Dolce was oh-so-carefully also keeping her ankle length dress out of the lava, using strings to drag chairs closer and creating an easier stepping stones path, because apparently ice cream didn't make you impervious enough like the lava ruins, and having a dainty pastry meal with a doggy-dragon-god-takeout bag of cheese buns for a god offering, when she just watches the only other goth girl she's ever met fearlessly dip her finger into the lava.]

[Dolce's expression goes from vaguely curious and almost impressed, to downright disgusted when Wednesday tastes it though!]

[No.]

[Oh, at least Wednesday thinks it tastes gross too. Except she was still the one who ventured to taste it!]

What were you thinking?

[woefullymacabre]

[ Considering she's tasted watered down paint and been disappointed it wasn't blood, she's at least glad it's not paint again. It hadn't even been lead paint. It was a sad day all around.

She looks at the girl who's making a face at her. ]

That there was no way this was lava.

[dolcedeleche]

Well founded. [Not sarcasm. It wasn't completely obvious, since maybe the chairs were just magically imbued to handle lava, and protect anyone on them, but even so, eating it?]

But it would probably taste better if it was.

[woefullymacabre]

It tastes like an unseasoned tomato paste. It's not even creative to evoke a memory of lava. [ She sighs. ]

Possibly. I haven't had the pleasure of tasting lava. I bet that would hurt. [ That could be a feature, not a bug. ]

[dolcedeleche]

Ugh. That's even more disgusting than I feared.

I have encountered lava, but I didn't try to eat it. I was more interested in getting out of there as quickly as possible.

Passengers

[bubblegumheart]

This isn't a normal cruise ship, and there's no way for any of us to leave.

[Once upon a time, Chrissy would have been hesitant to even approach someone who appeared to be doing her best to seem unapproachable. But she knows better than most that appearances aren't always what they seem. Sometimes, the boy with big hair who likes to stomp around on lunch tables and yell about how much he hates team sports turns out to be one of the kindest people one could hope to meet, and sometimes the conventionally attractive basketball player turns out to be one of the worst.

Maybe that isn't what this is at all, but Chrissy is willing to take that gamble. It's worked out in her favor in the past, and maybe it'll work out again this time. So here she is with a smile.]

Welcome to the Serena Eterna.

[woefullymacabre]

Sounds demented.

[ There was definitely a time in the recent past that Wednesday would be offended by such familiarity, but she's sort of worked out this whole friend thing on some level. At least. She's working on it. As long as they enjoy someone who's creepy and morose. ]

They could've at least tied me up if this was a proper kidnapping. [ Is that her sense of humour? It's hard to tell, she's completely deadpan. ]

[bubblegumheart]

Most of the time, it's nice. Until it's not.

[The same could be said for most things, she supposes. This place, though? It seems to shift from one to the other often enough to make note of it.]

I'm not sure there's anything proper about it. Would being tied up make it easier to process?

[woefullymacabre]

Nice? It's so...bright. [ Seems kind of miserable to her, where's a nice, dark, rainy day? ]

Not particularly. Being tied up is just more fun.

[bubblegumheart]

It's daytime. [Chrissy shrugs and offers an almost apologetic smile.] You could probably find some dark glasses in the Tommy Bahamas if the light is hurting your eyes.

[It's also entirely possible that this girl just doesn't like going out when it's bright.]

I wouldn't know. What's so fun about it?

ii

[pinballer]

[ Vance takes the staring as a challenge, if anything, and he stares right back as he approaches (though all of the hair in his eyes detracts from the effect a bit). ]

There are ports, but you're not gonna like 'em. [ He crosses his arms. ] Last people who tried to run too far away got sucked into the void or some shit.

[ Not entirely accurate, but close enough. They died and it was, he gathers, a pretty unpleasant experience. ]

[woefullymacabre]

A void? What kind of void?

[ She's a master at staring in an unsettling manner, it's not going to put her off if he meets her challenge. That seems to be the most pertinent question after all. ]

[pinballer]

I dunno. [ He shrugs, because he isn't really an expert on the different types of voids. ] The kind that kills you.

[ He keeps on staring. ]

We're stuck here, even when we're not on the ship. The Captain's a douchebag and won't let us go.

[woefullymacabre]

What kind of death?

[ Wednesday almost looks interested, because to her, death is inherently interesting. Especially if there's murder involved. ]

Yes, that is a trait of most kidnappers. I was expecting more of a dark, damp basement not some kind of cruise ship. Although if he was trying to torture me...touche.