sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #8

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TEST DRIVE MEME #8

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

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1. Knitting during the Drill and after:

[Pico (the ghost/poltergeist normally attached to Dolce) had been begging to go on a cruise for whatever reason. Probably because she had some bizarre notion of what it'd be like with bikinis or whatever. Though Dolce hasn't the faintest idea how she got here. Either way, it was just a matter of time before the poltergeist got bored doing whatever else, and came to reattach herself. Dolce doesn't struggle with the drill, but whenever physically allowed, starts knitting. It's soothing. She stays wearing the lei, of course.] Good construction. Very elaborate.

[The lei.]

[She tilts her head at the nearest passenger, the pointed ears peeking out from the black silk top hat and long pink twintails.] Forgive this question, it may seem a bit rude, but are you a ghost? [She has a reason she's asking.]

2. Mimics have teeth:

[Mimics are the WORST! You get all excited thinking it's a treasure chest, and BAM! TEETH!]

[Dolce's healing magic is sort of useless for this.]

Return from whence you came! [She can still bonk it with her rod, but the biggest problem is she's not loud enough enough to scream. Usually she plays quiet in order to let the ghosts be heard. Oh the irony.] Help please. [It's so deadpan... She doesn't expect to be heard, but she's trying.]

3. Baby Bahamanuels:

[The children's clothes are SO CUTE. Dolce isn't inclined to switch out of her extremely fancy elegant gothic lolita style, but she has quite the eye for fashion, and typically makes smaller size designs for a certain poltergeist, so it's when she's looking at the piles, she gets bitten!]

Ow!

[Outside of Tommy Bahamas with a newly bandaged hand, Dolce has set up a sign and a table.]

Fair trade:
Offering: Clothing alterations and tailoring
Requesting: Guide through the store and monsters.
Can provide limited healing magic.
Need to keep certain item drops to make potions.
Ask Dolce for more details!

[And then a drawn-in picture of her bat-banded silk hat and a daisy. And back to knitting.]

4. Wildcard:

[Choose your own adventure!]

Klaus is just wandering by when he hears a casual help please. They peek inside of John's expecting something a lot different than the piano attacking someone. What the actual hell? He does not have a weapon for this but he can at least like...levitate.

But first! Time to play Ian Malcolm from Jurassic Park. "OVER HERE!" Cause yeah. just make a murderous piano come for you. It's the logical thing to do. So when it turns, they're definitely hoping this doesn't actually end poorly for them.

"Oh good, distract it," still deadpan, but Dolce smacks its back with her rod. "Where's Margaret when you need someone who speaks its language?" The language of pianos. Well, it probably wouldn't work, but it's a good try. Maybe she can try tangling some knitting in its wires.

"Do you have any magic, weapons, or are you just playing by ear?" Get it? PLAYING BY EAR?! Actually please don't notice it, she'd be so embarrassed.

Klaus isn't sure if this is just how she talks or like...if she's being sarcastic. It's hard to be entirely certain of anything, but there's a whole piano attacking them. "You know someone that speaks piano?" Sure, that shouldn't be so surprising, but hey...he also hasn't considered that pianos are like...living things.

"Me? Oh, I'm just winging it. Anything can be a weapon if you think hard enough." Says the person that threw Halloween decor at people during a fight just recently. "Could use a bat right about now, but I don't think this place has those." A beat. "Maybe if we get a sturdy enough stool or bottle of alcohol, this will go easier. My only other option is to grab you and levitate us out of the way. And then hope it can't jump."

Klaus you need more self-confidence. Dolce just always speaks like this, and she needs her ghost interpreter to soften her verbal blows.

"Wouldn't the bat just attack you?" Dolce debates taking the bat off her hat, but this is a long way to go for a pun, and not really worth it.

"Levitate? Oh. You're a ghost too? Okay. If it tries to jump, I'll just kick it, okay?"

“No. It’s like…a baseball bat? Blunt object? Is everything coming to life?” Because that’s just confusing. Almost as confusing as the bat comment?? Did she mean a bat bat?

Klaus laughs a little at the assumption because that’s just…that’s just funny right now. “No. I’m just me. I used to see ghosts, but not anymore.” A beat. “Except that kid Vance. He’s a ghost and way too young to be, but whatever.” He’s gonna run over a little closer to her before levitating and holding his hands out to her. “Might as well grab on now, yeah?”

She did mean an animal bat, but she knew he meant the weapon bat. Dolce still has no excuse for this next pun. "Shouldn't you be wearing stripes then?" An extremely esoteric meta pun that no one but Pico would get, and even Pico would cringe at? Yes, perfect. All during the battle, because there is no time better ever.

Dolce takes his hands readily, actually surprised that he could see ghosts. Even more by: "How did you stop? Pico only seems to be about six, but she's actually 1200. It's rude to ask a lady's age, even of ghosts though." Irrelevant until she finds the little hellion poltergeist, but usually talking about her is a good way to lure Pico out of hiding.

"Stripes?" Yeah, He doesn't get it. Oh well.

He lifts up, some, willing himself to go a little further up in the air. "My dad built a machine to reset the world. When my sister pushed the button to reset it...boom. No powers. Just human, possibly part alien people with no powers." They sigh a little. "So you see ghosts, too? Huh. There's a lot of dead people...No wait. People with death powers. Powers involving the dead." Yes. That's...very good.

"Oh the ship in general."

Somehow she's heard of weirder ways, but Dolce just sighs. "I guess I can't do that." Not that Pico would let her. "Are they all Earthmates? I've never met someone else who could see ghosts before. Except Pico, but she doesn't count, because she's only visible because of me, usually." Dolce has been carried this way by Pico, who, despite being a tiny tiny six year old poltergeist, is phenomenally strong of course. So Dolce doesn't think twice about it, until the piano looks at them with a salivating tongue.

"Eek." Deadpan. "Stop peeking up my dress. You won't find anything interesting."

If that didn't lure Pico out, nothing would!

"Most people can't," he allows. Not everyone is their dad. So that's just one of those things. "Um. I dunno? I haven't asked. I think the one lady is?" What was her name again? Did she give him her name? Why can't they remember this? "Huh. I mean, I guess ghosts could be visible to others? Like psychics? But I dunno.

Klaus glances down. "This is...actually one of the weirdest days of my life, which is saying something because...I've had so many weird days."

"So you're not an Earthmate."

Dolce smiles softly to herself at Klaus' comment. "I'm not surprised. This is the weirdest day I've ever had too, and my best friend is a dragon. Never lost my ability to see ghosts though. Don't know what I'd do if I did. So you can just levitate now as a weird recompense or something?"

"Oh. I mean, I'm from Earth? But I wouldn't call myself an Earthmate? Mostly cause I don't really understand what an Earthmate means?" Like is that just what some people call people from Earth? Is it like...you're mated to the Earth? Is the Earth a person that people fuck? Like...there are a lot of questions they have no answers to.

"Your best friend is a fucking dragon?" That earns a sigh. "I want a dragon for a best friend. No fair." This is tying back into that one conversation they had with Klaus about what someone would choose to look like if they had that kind of magic. "Oh. I dunno. I just got it recently. But I've been working on it every day since then. It was a lot easier when I was high, which is weirdly not the same for any other power I've ever had."

"Earthmates are people with extremely strong magic that lets them seen runeys and cultivate them via planting, harvesting, and they're extra sturdy, and capable of high level magic that no one else can do." Nothing that exciting Klaus.

"Ventuswill of the Divine Wind. She says even she can't see ghosts, but she might be lying. Hard to say. Do you have a ghost best friend? Or did, I should say?"

Another quiet smile to herself. "Well, I suppose it would be easier from high places." GET IT? She's having too much fun with all these puns to be honest. "Have you tried from an airship yet?"

"Oh. Yeah. I don't think I'd call myself that. I don't have like...magic. Just super powers. Or I had them anyway." Only does levitating count as a superpower? It feels pretty basic.

"I couldn't tell you about that." At the question about a ghost best friend, though, they grow a touch more still, the expression on their face a little more sad. "My brother Ben." He looks off to the side. "But he sacrificed himself to save Viktor from...destroying the world and causing another apocalypse, so..." He's gone for good now. No more Ben. Ava's sort of taking over for Ben's duties of slap fights and getting into pointless arguments, though.

They pull themselves out of their thoughts long enough to smile, a very small laugh escaping. "Mmm. Something like that." From an airship? "No. There's no airships here...or back home. I mean, there's...uh...what are those things called again?" He gestures vaguely. "The balloons that they use for sports games?" He means blimps.

"You're not a ghost, or Earthmate, but this isn't magic." Weirdo. "What's a part-alien then?"

Oh. She regrets asking. "I'm sorry," her face somber too. Pico was usually in charge of letting people know she didn't mean to be so cold and harsh, she just was that bad with people.

"I don't know," she admitted quietly. "Airships were after I was asleep for a few centuries, but where are we that even airships can't reach?" It didn't seem like it was beyond the gates, was it someplace even Venti couldn't reach? That was an unnerving though.

"What? Is it supposed to be magic?" Cause...yeah. He's pretty sure this is just like...superpowers. Do those count? He's asking Ava the next time he sees her. "Like my dad's an alien, but not like...just British. Like an actual alien. Apparently. But then like...he didn't actually father us, but we were born to mothers who weren't expecting before we showed up. All born on the same day at the same hour." That's hard to explain. "But like...maybe that makes us aliens? Maybe it just makes us weird humans. I don't know."

It's fine. Like...you can lose your dead brother so many times. "It's fine. Just...you know..." Death.

"Like I don't actually know where we are. Exactly. I just know we're like copies of ourselves in another place? Like an alternate dimension? Maybe? Annnnd there's a lot of dying and coming back. Which also used to be my other super power. Only like...not again. But it's whatever. It usually takes a day for people to come back. Or like next day nonsense."

"What kind of alien?"

For the first time in Dolce doesn't know, ever, centuries, her whole life, she has no idea what's going on or what's being spoken about. "Are you sure you're not a ghost?" The only way you can come back from the dead repeatedly is as a ghost. And it's more like... once. "Maybe they're not really dead then? Just sort of knocked out? And then a dragon rescues them and breathes them back to full health?" Because that would make far more sense.

"Like from space??? I dunno. Luther said something about a bug." Whatever that meant. Klaus squints off into some general side space for a moment. "Oh. Yeah. No. Still not a ghost." He laughs. "Just a weird superpower. Really. I think I'd have noticed, but like...who knows at this point?" A beat. "But also I can't phase through the floor or the walls and that would make a lot of complicated situations easier..." None that they want to elaborate on with a stranger. Not that they're embarrassed about it, but...yeah.

"A dragon? Buddy, if there was a dragon involved in this? Well, I would have a lot more interesting stories to tell, to be honest."

"Space alien." Woosh. She still has no clue. But she nods about shifting through walls and floors. "Pico does get away with a lot on account of that. But you'd probably have to work harder to stay solid. Or at least she does, but she's stuck kind of... childish. Then again, most adult ghosts I've met are even worse at it, so maybe it's not that."

A small snort. "Your stories seem plenty interesting already." You half-bug-alien-not-ghost.

"Yeah. I mean, can't use my own powers on myself if I'm dead, right?" Not that he actually has them, but that's hardly the point. "Vance does a pretty okay job of being solid, though. I dunno if it's the ship or what. But yeah."

That's certainly not not a laugh. "I mean, that's true. But I really want like a dragon story or a unicorn one...or like one where I turn into a mermaid for no reason because it's funny."

"Pico does," But whatever. Superpowers. If he says so. "Vance is a ghost?" So that was someone she would inevitably meet, probably.

"Okay, you can borrow one of my stories. One day a divine dragon got jealous of your beautiful mermaid tail, and cursed you into this dreadful mortal form," did she just call his normal human self dreadful? Yes. "And only the kiss from a unicorn will cure you back to your natural mermaid state. Unfortunately, unicorns favor pure-hearted maidens, so you must find one such maiden and curry her favor in order to strike an accord with the unicorn. Or you could just beg the dragon for forgiveness and let them make you an ugly mermaid, but dragons are fickle, and she might change her mind and make you something even worse. Like a Mamadoodle." That's certainly a story.

They shrug. Different worlds, different rules, they guess. “Yeah. He’s a ghost. He’s like a teenager???” How old is he? Klaus can’t tell you.

Klaus listens to the story with delight. This is his favorite story. It’s official. Better than the frog and the scorpion one!!! Even if she did insult his human form. They would clap at the end, but they’re still holding her up and levitating. Probably should get out of here somehow.

“Best. Story. Eveeerrrrr!!!!”

Oh no... Dolce blushes and can't figure out where to look. This is even more embarrassing than Pico's enthusiasm!

"I didn't even try..." Don't like it! Or at least only like ones she actually tries for gosh! She wants to ask AGAIN if he's really not a ghost. Because ghosts were like that, always liking things without clear discernible reasons. But without Pico around to help her, she just falls quiet for a little bit extremely shyly. "I will give you a better story later..." Because really, that was awful.

Klaus grins widely, not sure why she's blushing, but...it's kind of cute. Not that they are planning to really acknowledge that.

"Oh. Well, I liked it anyway." There's a shrug. Just gonna slowly start moving them both toward the door so they can make a...well, slower escape than they would if he could fly. But that's the nature of it. "Even better! This is the best gift. I love stories!"

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TEST DRIVE MEME #8

Dolce | Rune Factory 4 | OTA

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