sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #8

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"You're not a ghost, or Earthmate, but this isn't magic." Weirdo. "What's a part-alien then?"

Oh. She regrets asking. "I'm sorry," her face somber too. Pico was usually in charge of letting people know she didn't mean to be so cold and harsh, she just was that bad with people.

"I don't know," she admitted quietly. "Airships were after I was asleep for a few centuries, but where are we that even airships can't reach?" It didn't seem like it was beyond the gates, was it someplace even Venti couldn't reach? That was an unnerving though.

"What? Is it supposed to be magic?" Cause...yeah. He's pretty sure this is just like...superpowers. Do those count? He's asking Ava the next time he sees her. "Like my dad's an alien, but not like...just British. Like an actual alien. Apparently. But then like...he didn't actually father us, but we were born to mothers who weren't expecting before we showed up. All born on the same day at the same hour." That's hard to explain. "But like...maybe that makes us aliens? Maybe it just makes us weird humans. I don't know."

It's fine. Like...you can lose your dead brother so many times. "It's fine. Just...you know..." Death.

"Like I don't actually know where we are. Exactly. I just know we're like copies of ourselves in another place? Like an alternate dimension? Maybe? Annnnd there's a lot of dying and coming back. Which also used to be my other super power. Only like...not again. But it's whatever. It usually takes a day for people to come back. Or like next day nonsense."

"What kind of alien?"

For the first time in Dolce doesn't know, ever, centuries, her whole life, she has no idea what's going on or what's being spoken about. "Are you sure you're not a ghost?" The only way you can come back from the dead repeatedly is as a ghost. And it's more like... once. "Maybe they're not really dead then? Just sort of knocked out? And then a dragon rescues them and breathes them back to full health?" Because that would make far more sense.

"Like from space??? I dunno. Luther said something about a bug." Whatever that meant. Klaus squints off into some general side space for a moment. "Oh. Yeah. No. Still not a ghost." He laughs. "Just a weird superpower. Really. I think I'd have noticed, but like...who knows at this point?" A beat. "But also I can't phase through the floor or the walls and that would make a lot of complicated situations easier..." None that they want to elaborate on with a stranger. Not that they're embarrassed about it, but...yeah.

"A dragon? Buddy, if there was a dragon involved in this? Well, I would have a lot more interesting stories to tell, to be honest."

"Space alien." Woosh. She still has no clue. But she nods about shifting through walls and floors. "Pico does get away with a lot on account of that. But you'd probably have to work harder to stay solid. Or at least she does, but she's stuck kind of... childish. Then again, most adult ghosts I've met are even worse at it, so maybe it's not that."

A small snort. "Your stories seem plenty interesting already." You half-bug-alien-not-ghost.

"Yeah. I mean, can't use my own powers on myself if I'm dead, right?" Not that he actually has them, but that's hardly the point. "Vance does a pretty okay job of being solid, though. I dunno if it's the ship or what. But yeah."

That's certainly not not a laugh. "I mean, that's true. But I really want like a dragon story or a unicorn one...or like one where I turn into a mermaid for no reason because it's funny."

"Pico does," But whatever. Superpowers. If he says so. "Vance is a ghost?" So that was someone she would inevitably meet, probably.

"Okay, you can borrow one of my stories. One day a divine dragon got jealous of your beautiful mermaid tail, and cursed you into this dreadful mortal form," did she just call his normal human self dreadful? Yes. "And only the kiss from a unicorn will cure you back to your natural mermaid state. Unfortunately, unicorns favor pure-hearted maidens, so you must find one such maiden and curry her favor in order to strike an accord with the unicorn. Or you could just beg the dragon for forgiveness and let them make you an ugly mermaid, but dragons are fickle, and she might change her mind and make you something even worse. Like a Mamadoodle." That's certainly a story.

They shrug. Different worlds, different rules, they guess. “Yeah. He’s a ghost. He’s like a teenager???” How old is he? Klaus can’t tell you.

Klaus listens to the story with delight. This is his favorite story. It’s official. Better than the frog and the scorpion one!!! Even if she did insult his human form. They would clap at the end, but they’re still holding her up and levitating. Probably should get out of here somehow.

“Best. Story. Eveeerrrrr!!!!”

Oh no... Dolce blushes and can't figure out where to look. This is even more embarrassing than Pico's enthusiasm!

"I didn't even try..." Don't like it! Or at least only like ones she actually tries for gosh! She wants to ask AGAIN if he's really not a ghost. Because ghosts were like that, always liking things without clear discernible reasons. But without Pico around to help her, she just falls quiet for a little bit extremely shyly. "I will give you a better story later..." Because really, that was awful.

Klaus grins widely, not sure why she's blushing, but...it's kind of cute. Not that they are planning to really acknowledge that.

"Oh. Well, I liked it anyway." There's a shrug. Just gonna slowly start moving them both toward the door so they can make a...well, slower escape than they would if he could fly. But that's the nature of it. "Even better! This is the best gift. I love stories!"

TEST DRIVE MEME #8

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