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TEST DRIVE MEME #7
1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton
[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.
perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]
Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!
[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]
… I’ll get right on that!
[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]
2. grandma went and can't stop screaming
[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.
it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.
so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.
until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]
Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…
3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama
[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.
barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.
physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!
note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]
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[ He likes to think he's up on all the modern things, after all he owns a smartphone at home, right? That's pretty technological. ]
Tenshou? Really? Wild time. There was a lot of war raging back then. [ Either he's a history buff or just positively ancient. Yato was never one for studying though. The name is familiar, but he was really busy back then, also it's not unexpected with the Odamon.]
It's the 21st century when I'm from, in the present.
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[A facsimile of one anyway.]
[As for war in Japan...]
[Nobunaga's face is indescribable. Between his swords and the gun, and being the Demon King of 6th Heaven he's just...]
[Yes.] You have no idea.
[Because even for those who lived in it, they weren't Nobunaga, responsible for half of the wars, and responsible for trying to end it all on their own shoulders. So it's a calm statement. Just vaguely amused. It was like telling someone who lived on Jupiter that it was very big. Yes. Excellent.]
I've heard that's one of the best times. In the timelines that don't fall to apocalyptic cults en masse. [This conversation is getting weirder by the word.] What's your favorite part of it?
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I don't know, the Bubble era was pretty fun. [ That was the 1980s, which at this point is about thirty years before.
There's a moment as he considers his favourite part and he can't help but smile. ]
I got a shrine. [ Whether or not that makes sense to his current conversation companion doesn't really matter, it's the truth. That's what he likes best about the current era. ]
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[Ew. Shrines. Why?]
[He assumes they're a monk and caretaker of a shrine, of course, not that it's dedicated to or of them.] And here I thought Japan moved beyond such foolishness. [JUST GONNA THROW THAT OUT THERE. If you ever doubted which asshole this was... yeah it's this guy.]
You aren't related to the Dosan or Omi clans are you? [Pointless question, there's no way it matters 500 years later.] Sorry, pointless thoughts.
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Time doesn't go backwards. [ No point in living in the past is there? ]
I'm not related to any clans at all, and never have been.
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Oh. What are you? [A ghost??? Idea??? It's fine though. His partner is 1/2 non-Earth alien. Very normal.]
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[ Of course though at the question of what he is he smiles brightly. ]
I am the delivery god Yato! [ Kind of, but branding is important. ] Please call on me for all your task needs! I will do anything to make you happy.
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[Stare.]
[What a bright smile.
Kichou has literally never smiled like that ever. NOT Kichou. 100% sold now.][Still staring.]
How does one become a delivery god? Or get born as one? [Oh no, if Nobuanga exists in their timeline, he clearly fucked up and let the castes and cult brainwashing get worse. HOW SAD.]
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Gods are born from the wishes of humans.
[ As for how one becomes a 'delivery god'...nevermind that. The fact he just decided and made himself a niche existence isn't something he needs to explain, at least not at the moment. ]
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Fair enough. [Nobunaga is a god. SURE.]
[Ascended from Demon to God.]
[All hail the destroyer.] So you're basically a pageboy.
But in the 21st century.
I wonder who wished for you here. They'll probably feel pretty guilty about it. [The Dioscuri stars are here too for similar reasons.]
Can you fight at least?
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I'll do anything for the price of five yen.
[ He isn't sure who wished for him to be there. He didn't sense anything, and it's not like most people knew him. He hadn't gotten a phone call, as far as he could remember. ]
I don't know, but if someone did wish for me to be here, they wouldn't need to feel guilty. [ It's his job and what he lives for. ]
I can fight. [ He was born a God of Calamity, he can bring chaos whether he wants to or not, and said calamity involves being one of the gods specialized in combat. ] For what purpose? Have you seen many ayakashi around?
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Make sure you tell them that. Whoever wished you here. Maybe after you've been tortured a little so they don't think you're underestimating it.
[A quiet snort, and an eyeroll. As if Nobunaga couldn't deal with simple yokai on his own anyway...] The possessions - ghosts - akuma maybe, that took over people's bodies right now ["Right now" as in before Halloween. Assuming we backdate this for consistency.] is just former passengers like ourselves who don't want to become nothingness. The torture is for the games played sometimes. To survive. Even if you die, the Captain isn't finished necessarily and brings people back to play with them some more. Which seems great to me, others not so much.
If you meet with the Dioscuri stars, Pollux can tell you what they're doing. But non-fighters seem to be getting attacked by the possessed people. Oh, and you can try to exorcise them, but it's not doing any good. [Or he assumes Jeff's boyfriend would have gotten Jeff back by now.]
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That's mostly what ayakashi do, attach themselves to living humans out of desperation. [ He could do something about it if he had a shinki with him. As it is, he seems to be out of luck on that front. ]
I'm not sure what that means. Pitting humans against each other? [ Sounds pretty barbaric and sinful and like something the Captain would have to answer for someday, but also likely wouldn't affect him. Denizens of the Near Shore can't kill him, that's just not how it works. He has no reason to believe otherwise. ]
I would exorcise them but it's not really the right time right now. [ He needs to find a shinki and quick if that's the case. ]
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That's how he is. Supposedly. I'm the wrong person to ask, really.
What would make it the right time?
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Huh. Well he wouldn't be the first. [ It makes him wonder how this place operates and what connection it has to Heaven and Hell. He wonders if there are gods around fighting and sowing discord among humans, like where he comes from. If the gods are unhappy, everyone is. ]
I don't...have what I need. [ He puts his hands in his pockets, looking a little sheepish at that admission. ] I'll keep my eye out for any spirits.
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Okay. If you give me a list, I can try to help. No promises. I'm not great at -- religious things. [The nicest way he can say that!] You can also talk to some of the others here. They're better with it. Actual gods too, that kind of thing.
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[ Mostly because every shinki reacts to his true nature and turns into a weapon of some kind. ]
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[ He shakes his head a little bit, as he considers that. ] It's alright, for the moment. [ He's disarmed people with a stick, he's been in worse situations. ]
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[Just. Fuck it. He's not prepared to deal with this emotionally and mentally right now.]
[A double face palm.]
[HE NEEDS HIS SOUL.]
[DAMN IT. Is it REALLY not Demon-chewed?! Is it just that the demon that was inside him, the Demon King of 6th Heaven, is not here with him? Is that who's running Japan now?!]
[But then why was it so inseparable in his head? Which things were him or demon? Shouldn't there be more clearly distinguishing features?]
[Deep breath.]
What does the human soul get out of it? Wait. Lost though? So they can't be in a body?
[Mind racing, too many thoughts at once!!!] If you find the ghosts, if they have enough shreds of themselves left... can you free them from their state of nothingness? Or is it more like you could return someone who's been possessed, their original soul back to their proper body?
[This is all probably way above the pageboy god's paygrade, but Nobunaga is SURE AS HELL GOING TO ASK!!!]
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That's right. It's the soul of someone who's died, usually in an unexpected way.[ A tragic, unexpected way. ]
Souls like that are vulnerable. They died before their time, or unexpectedly which means the dark one wasn't there to escort them to the afterlife. They remain there to be preyed upon by the ayakashi. A spirit like that can be taken in by a god. If they aren't they may be devoured by the ayakashi,or they may let go of what binds them to the living world and move on. Some are reincarnated and others just cease to be. What they get out of the deal is a purpose and protection.
[ Yato considers his thoughts again, just for a brief moment. ] They sacrifice their lives in return and are tasked with serving the god who took them in. There's nuance, it's not as permanant as it sounds.
[ Possession? By what? ] If you mean the ayakashi, ending their posession is part of my job, yes. The human would be unharmed from severing that tie.
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Do I need to sign over my soul for this or would it not even work?