TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[tossmealifeline]

[ His day's already looking up, he's located a bartender. Information and alcohol all in one place. Seems pretty lucky. ]

Hey. [ Yato offers cheerfully with a wave, wondering if he'd even been noticed. He should be noticed now. ] Can I get a drink?

[businessorlibation]

Certainly. What's your pleasure?

[The man behind the bar is short, with fine features and warm golden eyes (which almost seem to flash or glow like a wolf's in the dim bar light from the wrong angle), and he's dressed in a nice suit with a white dinner jacket.]

[tossmealifeline]

Hmm, if I want something sweet, what would you recommend?

[ It's been awhile since he hasn't just had cheap beer, and he can fall back on that if he needs to. ]

[businessorlibation]

Sweet, hm? My go-to is a bee's knees or a variation on it. It's a cocktail made with honey syrup instead of simple syrup, so it has a more complex sweetness. I recently discovered a variation that adds salted cucumber juice for more dimension. Care to try it?

[tossmealifeline]

Sure, why not.

[ He'll sit down properly and then he hesitates. He doesn't have any money on him. ]

Care to make it an offering? I'm a little short.

[ He's resorting to begging behaviour now. ]

[businessorlibation]

Oh, you're new-new. There's no monetary system on the ship. Every time I work the bar, it is as an offering.

[He begins to mix the drink, clearly comfortable with the tools and ingredients here, and soon sets something pale golden and garnished with a strip of lemon peel in front of the stranger.]

[tossmealifeline]

Sounds like a weird system. [ He's thinking though, considering that and what implications it might have. ]

Well then, I humbly accept your offering. [ It's okay if he says it is, that's just how gods work. ]

[businessorlibation]

There is nothing normal about this ship or anything that goes on here.

[He moves to grab his drink, bringing it over to where the new passenger is sitting.]

I'm Johnny, by the way. Johnny Summer. I've been here for over eight months, now.

[tossmealifeline]

Eight months, huh. That's a long time for someone to be in a strange place. I mean, unless you wanted to work here.

[ He's not entirely oblivious to the passage of time for people. ]

You can call me Yato. [ He flashes a little grin. He's hoping Johnny remembers that, but statistically he probably won't. ]

[businessorlibation]

No, I didn't want to work here. I've found happiness on the ship, in small ways, but. It is often a cruel, confusing, horrible place to be.

[He shrugs slightly.]

But what'll you do? This is my life right now. I'm not going to stop living it.

[tossmealifeline]

Cruel, confusing and horrible. Is it that different from anywhere else?

[ A lot of people would describe the world that way. At his comment about living his life though, it gets another smile out of Yato. ]

I like your resolve. There's nothing worse than giving up before you have a chance at life.

[businessorlibation]

Well, I certainly won't be giving up at this point. I'm getting married later this month.

Ah, but that's probably not something you care about at this point. Still getting settled, I take it?

[tossmealifeline]

Congratulations!

[ He seems somewhat genuine in his well wishes. Weddings are meant to be happy occasions after all and he's trying to spread good fortune. ]

I'm more confused than anything but it's not a huge problem. Don't suppose you need help with anything?

[businessorlibation]

Help? What kind of help are you offering?

[He can't help but be curious what sort of skills Yato has, as a newcomer. After all, the passengers need to coordinate and cooperate to get through everything, here.]

[tossmealifeline]

I'll do pretty much anything you could possibly want. No job is too small! It's practically my motto.

[ Could he work with well wishes alone? Hm, maybe. If there's no money, he can't work for donations. ]

[businessorlibation]

Okay...why?

[Something's not really making sense here. You don't just offer to do anything for a stranger.]

[tossmealifeline]

[ It is very astute that the world often doesn't work that way. ]

All I ask is that you remember my name.

[ He won't. He's pretty sure he won't. It doesn't mean he won't stop trying. After all, does have one follower. ]

[businessorlibation]

Yato.

You don't need to do anything for me, to make me remember. Names are important.

[He brings a certain amount of bias to the table in that regard; he chose his own name.]

[tossmealifeline]

It would be much easier if it worked like that.

[ He's done a lot of jobs over the years, he'd have a ton of lifelines if he wasn't so cursed in that area. ]

Yato's the one that matters. That's the one Hiyori remembers.

[businessorlibation]

If you say that name matters to you, I'll remember it. Johnny Summer wasn't always my name, but it's the name I've chosen. Whoever else I've been before, I've left in the past. I hold onto my name as a matter of pride.

[tossmealifeline]

[ He nods his agreement to that. ]

Someone I knew gave me this name by accident, but I like it. [ He won't say how that happened, it's too much of a hint to something unpleasant. ]

I don't think it's a bad thing to leave things in the past. [ Heaven knows he did. ]

[businessorlibation]

There's people here with all kinds of different names. Friday, Jinx, Six, Skulduggery. No one's going to think Yato is strange or question you about it.

[A pause, he glances at Yato's drink.]

Do you like that? I can make you something else, if not.

[tossmealifeline]

[ Oops, in all the conversation he's gotten distracted and if he's even taken one sip of the drink it would be surprising. He does so obediently, letting it sit in his mouth for a moment. ]

I like it. [ He smiles. ] Thank you for your offering.

[ He wouldn't want to seem ungrateful. ]

I've long stopped questioning how humans get names.

[businessorlibation]

Well, not everyone I just named is human, strictly speaking. Skullduggery's a skeleton, for example. Gal Friday's a faceless servitor created by the Captain. I think Jinx and Six are, though.

[tossmealifeline]

I would know even less about how non-humans get their names. What do you mean by a servitor?