TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[alighthouse]

Ed's given him an out. He can leave, and they can part ways on his terms, and the thought of that hurts like when the Spanish captain stabbed him in the gut.

You'll flee from the Kraken every chance you get.

Someone normal would. They'd run and run and never look back.

Stede steps forward, keeping the space between him and Ed the same. "I'm not fleeing." His tone is half-gentle, half-stubborn. "If my leaving hurt you, then I'm not doing that again, Edward."

[treading_water]

Incredibly stubborn, if you ask Ed. That step forward brings a lurching feeling to Ed's chest, and he sucks in a sharp breath as he tries not to break all over again. Maybe he should hold the knife out again... but he can't seem to move, frozen inexplicably in place.

Are the crowds still watching this? Because at this point they're being treated to an entire soap opera.

"Why?" he asks breathlessly. "Why are you doing this?" To torture him, he suspects. To hurt him worse. Even if Stede is sincere, if he doesn't remember leaving him, he doesn't remember their kiss, or their promises. For Ed, that's almost worse.

do they have raspberries in 1717 barbados? if jenkins doesn't care neither do i

[alighthouse]

Why? Baffling question.

"Because you're my friend, and I don't want what I did to hurt you anymore," Stede says, like it's the simplest thing in the world. Two plus two equals four, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, and Stede Bonnet cares about Edward Teach. Even if he's entirely hazy on the details about what he did to hurt Ed so, he never would have done it on purpose. Why would Blackbeard care about anyone enough to have his heart broken, let alone weak-hearted, soft-handed, lily-livered little rich boy Stede Bonnet? To think that he held that kind of power was insane.

(No, for real, though, 'breaking his heart'? We don't have time to unpack all of that right now, but it's definitely going to stick in his brain like a raspberry seed in a tooth.)

i would have never questioned this

[treading_water]

Ed scoffs, an almost helpless sound escaping his lips. There's another major disconnect here, and Ed's only just considered it, because for a brief moment, he thinks about giving in and letting Stede comfort him and lull him back into a false state of security.

Stede doesn't know what he's done. It's too late now. Stede may be seeking forgiveness, but will he forgive Edward for his own transgressions?

"You won't want to be my friend once you know what I've done..." he mutters. "Your things, your crew-- they're all gone."