sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #7

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.

physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dedue props himself up using one of the nearby shelves. He turns his head towards the source of the greeting. A figure in the distance. That's probably why she hasn't realized what kind of state he's in. He isn't sure his voice will carry that far.
"...Where am I?" he manages to rasp after a second attempt.

Darcy draws a little closer, not moving too quickly so she doesn't spook the dude.

"Shit, right, she's not doing the- long story. Right now, a Spirit Halloween, which is like... A store that's just for a creepy autumn holiday we have here. If any of that makes sense. More generally? Welcome to the good ship Serena Eternia, you've been... kidnapped? Basically? There's no nice way to put it."

Darcy winces sympathetically.

"Kidnapped..." he echoes back.
A pause.
"How far from Fodlan am I?"
Does he even want to know?

Blinks. Where has she heard that-

"Oh- it sounds like you're from the same place as Dimitri. About as far as you can get, I'm sorry, this is... far from everywhere."

"Di...?" His eyes go wide.
"His Highness is here? How did... When did he get here? Is he safe?" Despite his flat tone, there is a protective quality that suddenly flavors his words.

"Safe as anyone can be here- and ehn- watch it with the 'his highness'. I know, but not everyone knows, and probably better to keep it that way."

Darcy draws a little closer still, "he got here... a couple of months ago, I think. Sorry- 'm Darcy, I've been here for... too long, so I'm sort of part of the welcome wagon."

...

"Figure of speech, to be clear," since now she knows this guy is presumably also medieval.

Dedue frowns at the discussion of the title. What Darcy is saying makes sense. But he had just spent an entire year and a half switching over to exclusively referring to him as His Highness and switching back now sounds even more difficult.
"Months ago..." he echoes back quietly. "That is not possible," he shakes his head. "Unless I have been unconscious for a long time."

"That's one of the parts that's weird about this place; you can arrive here and everything back home just sort of... keeps going? Someone could arrive here before you, but be after you relative to when you remember- honestly that's a conversation for when I have my notes on me and maybe something to draw a diagram with. Have you eaten? You should probably eat."

This is all... a lot and it's not really going to get easier to explain.

Well, this makes no sense to him, but he will leave it for now.
"Yes. I should eat. Thank you," Dedue nods. He knows himself well enough to know he will probably have opinions on the food, but he is grateful regardless.

"Alright- this way, it's a little bit of a hike," she tosses the shirts back haphazardly and then gestures for him to follow her out of the Spirit Halloween.

"The only place serving food at the moment is the buffet, which is up the top; we have these things called elevators which move you up and down floors, which I'll show you how to work. Do you have the like- little brick thing that was in your room when you woke up?"

"...I woke up here," he says, limping behind her.

"... what? That's- where's your room, then?"

Surely the ship hasn't broken down that much, has it?

And ah fuck, he's limping-

"Do you need a hand walking?"

"I am fine," he insists, clearly not fine.

"You know, Dimitri is that stubborn about injuries too."

She retrieves a grim reaper's scythe from off a nearby wall and offers it to him, "at least lean on this so you don't make it worse. We have doctors- healers, whatever, here."

He does let out a small chuckle at that. "The point is taken."
He accepts the scythe.

Darcy huffs a small laugh in return. Evidently this guy knows Dimitri well enough to know what he's like.

Out of the Spirit Halloween, onto the promenade, she leads him in the direction of the elevators.

"You don't talk much, do you?"

"No."

"Yeah, that's absolutely on me for asking."

Past the Drunken Sailor, which is for some unknown reason riddled with bullet holes, on and onwards.

"People just... usually have questions. About all of this. A lot of 'why's and 'oh God why'."

"I have seen enough in my life to know when not to ask questions," he says with a shake of his head.
"I have been uprooted in life once. As long as I know where His Highness is, I can find my footing again."

"Well, now is probably the time to ask-"

... Darcy wheels to a stop.

"Dedue."

It's not a question, because she knows of exactly one other person from Dimitri's world, and it's not a dumb guess that this is him.

"...So he is here," Dedue responds. He knows where she would've gotten the name from.

"Here is what I understand. We are on a giant ship. There are beasts here. We have been captured but at different points in time and place. We have rooms. Are these observations correct?"

"All of that, and specifically we've been brought here by an evil necromancer to power his magic with our emotions. Also the Bahamanal isn't everywhere, it's just in- just in the Spirit Halloween. There's worse news, but that's for after you've eaten and had someone take a look at your leg."

Because it's not currently a Tommy Bahama. Still, she gives him a small smile, because even if this is their first meeting, well...

"Dimitri literally never shuts up about you, so it's nice to actually meet you in person."

He snorts at that. "I am not surprised." There is a small smile on his face.

TEST DRIVE MEME #7

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