TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Shaun clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes. Not like he hasn't heard that one before. He begins to sweep with his broom.

Mah maa maaa. Baa.

[Yeah so what if people get hurt, there's still a responsibility to your flock and your friends to help where you can! The world runs on tiny kindnesses.]

[opheliac]

(well, she isn't going to stop him or disturb his cleaning. however she will take a seat where she is standing; cross-legged to watch.)

I think I'll name you "McFloofie". Or how about "Mr. McFloofie"?

(jinx is more so leaning on the "Mr." one since it's way more proper and shaun seems to be a very proper sheep who would like to be addressed correctly.)

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Shaun stops and shakes his head at her. He settles the broom handle in the crook of his arm, and rummages in his fleece again. He produces a small slate and piece of chalk, and begins to very carefully write. He tongue sticks out at some points, his concentration is so intense.]

[He puts away the chalk and hold up the chalkboard for her to read: SHAUN in shaky capitals, and no less than two letters are backwards and one upside-down. He can read pretty well, but writing? That's tricky, okay.]

[opheliac]

(that's alright. sometimes jinx's handwriting becomes backwards and upside-down, too. but it's mostly for funises and not due to lack of knowing. she mouths out his name quickly then clapping her hands together.)

Ha! — Shaun! Okay,okay! That's a pretty good name. I can work with that. Sooo, once you're done being dull and cleanin', you want me to show ya around? We got food! Some good ol' greens or... whatever you eat. You don't look like a carnivore.

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Shaun perks up immediately at the mention of food. And sheep are generally herbivores, but Shaun himself has a flexible palate, honestly. Not as much as the farm's goat, yikes, but...]

[He pulls a tuft of wool from his coat and erases the letters, before quickly beginning to draw. He is much better at that, and soon hold up a drawing that includes grain, hay, and...Shaun eating a piece of pizza. He's also quite fond of tea and jam sandwiches.]

Maa baa?

[opheliac]

(gosh, the fact this sheep can draw is making her feel so tickled pink. even if he is imaginary, she would love for the two of them to go around the boat and doodle every little spot they can. observing his drawing, jinx gasps in glee and taps her nail at the picture of him with the pizza.)

Oh these!! Yeah, yeah! We got those. The "Peezaahs"...! — They got different kinds, too! Some with just cheese, meat, fruit, and vegetables.