TEST DRIVE MEME #7

[sailmods]

1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton

[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.

perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]

Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!

[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]

… I’ll get right on that!

[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]

2. grandma went and can't stop screaming

[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.

it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.

so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.

until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]

Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…

3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama

[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.

barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.



physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!

note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]

Comments

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Shaun considers this information. Really? He's accustomed to having to be very discreet about their un-sheep-like activities. Hmm. He will probably play it safe, though. Just in case. After all, one sheep alone does not a convincing human make. Unless...do they have stilts?]

Maa? Baa mah baaa.

[He whips a tuft of fleece from his coat, wipes the slate clean with it, and scribbles himself on stilts to show to the man.]

[konpeito_aji]

Sticks to make yourself taller? [What are stilts?] Those might be around here? I don't remember seeing them.

But not everyone around here is human. I mean, I'm a Demon King. And there was a dog, and a troll, and I forget what else. [Ylva is a wolf, but wolves and sheep are enemies, right? Best not mention then.]

[shaun_the_sheep]

[Stilts, mister demon king. Whatever that may be. Perhaps related to genies? Shaun has never met a troll, but he's not sure he wants to. The swamp monster was bad enough, thank you.]

Baa.

[He wipes his slate clean and stashes it again. He'll have to look for stilts himself, obviously. If he can't stand on another sheep to be mostly-human height, stilts are the next best thing, if a bit tricky...]

[konpeito_aji]

[Close enough, yes.]

Okay, we can look for height-enhancing shoes, if you wish. I think the shoes and other feet stuff [Yes. 16th century Japan has pretty limited things.] are this way if I remember right?