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TEST DRIVE MEME #7
1. before she hung up, she said she was a skeleton
[there is no note in your cabin. no forces stall your legs if you decide to walk anywhere but the atrium. in fact, for the first time in hundreds of years, newly arrived passengers on the Serena Eterna are waking up with absolutely no guidance. nothing but your fellow passengers in the halls - or maybe in your bed.
perhaps you end up in the atrium eventually anyway. it is where guest services is, and where Gal Friday… actually hasn’t been in a few days. until today. and she is visibly frazzled, her hair uncoiffed, her suit rumpled, something a bit like a bruise blossoming down from her hairline and over her smooth features. more papers than ever cover her desk, and when she turns to face you, her voice is as cheerful as ever, but audibly strained.]
Welcome aboard the Serene Eterna! [a pause] You know how to work a life vest, right? Everyone knows that! You don’t need me to teach you that!
[a light bulb burns out behind her head.]
… I’ll get right on that!
[freedom includes the freedom to not know what the fuck is happening. maybe you should reflect on that.]
2. grandma went and can't stop screaming
[it’s something about the lighting fixtures, this month. has the Bellona always had a massive chandelier? maybe. who knows. don’t ask questions. either way, in the stillness of the night, or day, or late afternoon, there is a noise like a cord being cut, and the chandelier plunges into the audience below.
it hits nothing, of course. no one is ever in the theater. and that, perhaps, is what the trouble is.
so, the chandelier starts to… travel, one could say. it starts to hang in various rooms: the dining halls, the bars, the clubs… sometimes, if you’re out on the pool deck and suddenly realized you’re under a shadow, you can glance up and see it suspended 20 feet above your head, securely fastened to nothing in particular and yet remaining perfectly in place.
until it isn’t. until it falls, crystal shattering on whatever surface it lands on: floor, table, person… and, wherever the chandelier goes, a lilting childish voice follows it, singing without any obvious source.]
Ring-a-ring of roses, a pocket full of posies… ashes, ashes, we all…
3. jeff bezos murdered the infinite tommy bahama
[the lights of the Infinite Tommy Bahama go out three days into October.
barely an hour after its closure, the lights go on again, and a new banner is unfurled.
physically, it is the same store. you can even see the old signs hidden behind the new ones. however, long gone are the tropical prints and khaki dress shorts. now, one can purchase any number of officially licensed or legally distinct Halloween costumes, decorations, and various other haunted accoutrements, leading back as far as the eye can see, and then farther still. is that a Gal Friday mask? spooky! well, at least you’ll be good and ready for the Halloween party at the end of the month, which is absolutely just a normal party and in no way whatsoever anything even remotely resembling a trick. there are only treats at The Infinite Spirit Halloween!
note: bahamanuel is still here! somewhere! it kinda looks like dan bongino.]
no subject
Please don't do that, the ship isn't being cleaned.
"I dunno, you tell me bud." Pratt is so practiced in cop speak it doesn't occur to him that he's the one that instigated this shit. "Feels like a problem, you know?"
no subject
Since they're asking prying questions and all.
"I wasn't aware this ship had a dress code."
no subject
As he does so there's a soft jingling, the dog tags around his neck falling out the collar of his deputy shirt, and he catches them with one hand before they also go into the potatoes. "The...fuck?"
He was not wearing those earlier. Was he? No. He didn't put those on this morning.
Did he?
Nevermind that's not important. No? Seems important.. What's important is the extremely weird vibe from Brother Vance over here.
"Nah, it's just you know... suspicious. Usually people wearing masks are trying to hide something. That you? You trying to hide from something? Someone? Yourself?"
no subject
Should he announce that he's unarmed, or would that be unwise against a likely aggressor? For once, he wishes he had Arthur's insight on the situation. He's had experience with aggressive cops and madmen (and both) alike.
... Then again, so has John, albeit less directly. However, his typical solutions would work here as, again, he's unarmed.
He hates this. He shuts his eyes, sighs noisily behind the plaster or stone of his mask, and then opens his hands, both empty.
"Look. I have no weapons. A mask alone hardly makes me a threat. There's... A store full of them on this ship, with endless racks of them."
It comes out halting as John explores the unfamiliar territory of negotiation. But there, it's... an excuse. An alibi. A reason to leave him the fuck alone.
no subject
"Aight aight, fine. You just look like... well, a cultist. Sorta. And I should know."
His hackles are still raised, is he gonna have to go piss in the corners of the ship to mark his cult territory like the werecougar did?
no subject
For now, John is still offended and irritated, but... Trying. Negotiation seems to be working, even if he wants nothing more than to exit this conversation and the area.
Arthur would probably do something stupid like offering the truth to this clearly unhinged man.
"... We were infiltrating a cult before waking up here." John says, leaving in a grain of truth despite himself.
This guy seems to have a problem with cults, after all. Maybe the implication of subterfuge will get him to back the fuck off.
no subject
Are there a bunch of yellow robed cultists? Is this an invasion? He only has the one gun, fuck.
"What kind of a cult?"
no subject
"My-" His what? Friend? Host? Hostage? Victim? "-Partner."
He speaks thinking of the names on the office door. Of the body they hid in the closet.
He shakes his head quickly. No point in dwelling on it now.
"It was a cult dedicated to a terrible god. One that drives men to madness with just a whisper, one trying to reach into our world." he says and - and that is enough of a description to get the point across.
Especially as he can't stop himself from remembering how close they came to succeeding. It's a good thing that mask isn't very expressive.
no subject
"Why would anyone join a cult that drives people insane?" He says that before thinking about what he just said. Thinks about himself for two and a half seconds. "Nevermind. I know why. Don't answer that."
He narrows his eyes again. "Aight. You're free to go. But don't let me catch you killing and sacrificing anyone or I'm gonna get real pissed, and you do not want that."
no subject
Well, depending on where in the podcast you are, that's not completely wrong.John's lip curls under his mask, but he nods.
"Please, I wouldn't have the reason or means to." he says, wanting to tell this guy to go fuck himself for the mere suggestion.
(Perhaps because it's too close to home, to what might have happened-)
John turns, the scalloped edges of his cloak flaring with the motion, and he leaves.