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TEST DRIVE MEME #6
1. took a time-traveling ride
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. so many dragons lurking out in the fog
[the cabins closest to the laundry room door will notice first. the steady hums and thuds of the machines, muffled by walls, are growing louder and louder, until it almost sounds like someone is bashing them against the wall. soapy water leaks from under the closed door, drips from the sides.
until someone is dumb enough to open it.
it’s a flash flood of detergent, a wave of foam and hot water feet high spilling forth and bringing down and along anything caught in its path. you’d think it would be a quick burst, that once whatever had built up in the room was released, the torrent would subside. but, it doesn’t. and a river of half-washed socks overtakes the hallways.]
3. I need protection from the things in my head
[The Infinite Tommy Bahama, everyone’s favorite destination for laid-back island sophistication, is a bit of an odd duck on the Promenade. and not just because it’s seemingly shoved between two extant locales, or because it’s a clothing store among bars and restaurants. for some reason, the unseen spirits that attend the other bars and shops, doing the routine duties necessary to keep such places running, seem to avoid this one, and it shows. clothes that are taken off the racks are not put back on again, leaving increasingly large piles of floral print and polyester blends in every aisle.
and that is where he is born.
there’s just so many piles. and they all look pretty much the same, each as tacky as the one next to it. it would be hard to notice that one has moved while your back was turned to it. difficult to realize that a singular pile has started stalking you through the stacks and racks. until it’s too late to turn back, until you’ve lost sight of the entrance, and the piles of discarded slacks and blazers seem to conglomerate into one massive beast, which rises from the polished wood floors and throws its weight upon its hapless victim.
the bahamanal strikes.]
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Just sort of... looks off into the distance. "So um--" WORST CHANGE OF SUBJECT EVER. "Any of this menu look familiar to ya?"
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"Some of it, maybe," he said. "We have teas and coffee back home. Maybe not these exact flavors, though.... Unless it's the same stuff but going under a different name here."
There's also something called soda. "What's this?"
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"Yeah? What do you have back home? Soda is -- hmmm good question! It's when you add sugar and carbonation to make it bubbly. Americans prefer cola -- ah don't worry if you don't know what America is, it's an Earth thing that didn't come about until the 18th century. There's all kinds of flavors for it though."
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[Luke is quickly distracted by the explanation of soda. It sounds good.]
I'll try that. Maybe the ... blue-raspberry?
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[He frowns a bit.]
Did they even taste the same with all of that in there?
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Mm-hm! [Giant smile.] That's the secret to it. It tasted like soda, even with the vitamins.
I mean, I expect it wasn't as good as either. Like if it'd just been vitamins, or if it'd just been soda, but for in between, not bad.
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[Luke shrugs. He's not sure what to think of it.]
So what are you going to order?
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[Yay tapioca get!]
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[Luke is giving her a blank stare again.]
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[Luke isn't sure he likes the thought of drinking from the same cup. He looks for someone to take their orders.]
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I'm kind of glad. The bloke I was traveling with has no head for money, so I usually had to pick up all kinds of odd jobs in weird places. No need this time, yeah?
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[He watches her to see how to do it and then goes over to get his own.]
Yeah? What kind of weird places?
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[Luke slowly sips the soda. Very unlike anything he's ever had, but ... it's good.]
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Estate, playground, kind of boring. Actually I was really bored most of the time. [Until she met the Doctor.] Until I traveled.
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[Some of it Luke definitely doesn't want to tell.]
She and I both have special powers and they kind of ... collided and teleported us out....
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[Gestures to a table for a seat.] He blew up the place I was working at. It was a department store. Clothes, jewelry, that kind of thing. They faded a lot in popularity after America had their shopping mall explosion, but there was this old show Are You Being Served? And people thought it was more posh to have department stores...
[SHRUG!] Anyway. There was a plastic alien in the basement taking over the mannequins, and I went down there to find the electrician, Wilson, but the mannequins came to laugh and attacked, but then the Doctor rescued me. I thought it was a prank, but it wasn't. [Focuses on her drink.] He said run, and then we've been running ever since. All around the universe.
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Plastic?! Things can be made of plastic and be alive?!
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[He does not want to imagine that all the various materials could end up coming to life. Part of him wonders if this whole conversation is a joke, but Rose seems pretty sincere and he hopes he's a better judge of people than he used to be.]
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[Stirs her straw in her drink and shrugs, thinking more.] If you can think it, it probably exists. One woman I met was a tree, but she actually was sort of from Earth. Earth trees. Uh what else... Blue people, stone people, that's a big one, cat people! Gaseous people. Lizard spikey violent people. Um. Rhinos. Um cyber people. These people that kind of look like potatoes. But about 4 feet tall. [Gestures height!]
[A nod.] If you can think it, it's probably out there. Most aliens look the same as humans though. Don't know why that is.
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