TEST DRIVE MEME #6

[sailmods]

1. took a time-traveling ride

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. so many dragons lurking out in the fog

[the cabins closest to the laundry room door will notice first. the steady hums and thuds of the machines, muffled by walls, are growing louder and louder, until it almost sounds like someone is bashing them against the wall. soapy water leaks from under the closed door, drips from the sides.

until someone is dumb enough to open it.

it’s a flash flood of detergent, a wave of foam and hot water feet high spilling forth and bringing down and along anything caught in its path. you’d think it would be a quick burst, that once whatever had built up in the room was released, the torrent would subside. but, it doesn’t. and a river of half-washed socks overtakes the hallways.]

3. I need protection from the things in my head

[The Infinite Tommy Bahama, everyone’s favorite destination for laid-back island sophistication, is a bit of an odd duck on the Promenade. and not just because it’s seemingly shoved between two extant locales, or because it’s a clothing store among bars and restaurants. for some reason, the unseen spirits that attend the other bars and shops, doing the routine duties necessary to keep such places running, seem to avoid this one, and it shows. clothes that are taken off the racks are not put back on again, leaving increasingly large piles of floral print and polyester blends in every aisle.

and that is where he is born.

there’s just so many piles. and they all look pretty much the same, each as tacky as the one next to it. it would be hard to notice that one has moved while your back was turned to it. difficult to realize that a singular pile has started stalking you through the stacks and racks. until it’s too late to turn back, until you’ve lost sight of the entrance, and the piles of discarded slacks and blazers seem to conglomerate into one massive beast, which rises from the polished wood floors and throws its weight upon its hapless victim.

the bahamanal strikes.]

Comments

[bigbadrose]

Oh! You know what plastic is? That saves me a lot of explaining. Yeah... Not normally! That's why I thought it had to be a prank. Whoever heard of living plastic, right?

[lukesdiary]

Yeah, that is ... really out there. Are there any other things like that?

[He does not want to imagine that all the various materials could end up coming to life. Part of him wonders if this whole conversation is a joke, but Rose seems pretty sincere and he hopes he's a better judge of people than he used to be.]

[bigbadrose]

Tons! I can't think of any clothing aliens, but like... There are some that wear humans as clothing... Sooooo...

[Stirs her straw in her drink and shrugs, thinking more.] If you can think it, it probably exists. One woman I met was a tree, but she actually was sort of from Earth. Earth trees. Uh what else... Blue people, stone people, that's a big one, cat people! Gaseous people. Lizard spikey violent people. Um. Rhinos. Um cyber people. These people that kind of look like potatoes. But about 4 feet tall. [Gestures height!]

[A nod.] If you can think it, it's probably out there. Most aliens look the same as humans though. Don't know why that is.

[lukesdiary]

... And most of these are all on other planets?

[He has so much to learn ... so many places he could visit....

Potato people ... that sounds the weirdest to him.]

... Aliens.... What do you call an alien? Anyone who's not from your own planet?

[That's how it is on his world, although no one's proven the existence of other planets there. Himself being considered an alien ... that's a really weird and kind of uncomfortable thought.]

[bigbadrose]

Yup! Though there's some lizard people that aren't spikey or violent that live under the Earth's crust. I met one of them, she's really nice. And her wife is human but from way in the future, so not Earth human.

Yeah, I don't remember when or how they started doing that. Just non-Earth people were aliens. But then like... There's Earth colonies in the future so Jack is from one of those, but he's not called an alien. Which is a bit dumb, really.

I guess it's kind of like... because his ancestors were from Earth? Or something. Even though it's all mixed up in the future, and even the so-called [Finger quotes.] Pure blooded humans end up looking super weird from plastic surgery. Like Cassandra was just skin. She was a sheet of skin all stretched thin. So weird.

[lukesdiary]

... Well, that's good that they're not violent.... But why does being from the future mean they're not earth people anymore?

[Then he's distracted by the rest of what was said.]

A sheet of skin?! What the heck?! They deliberately made themselves look like that?!

[bigbadrose]

I mean if they're born off Earth and never even seen or heard of it, it's a bit weird, right?

[Nods!] Yeah Cassandra... I dunno. She thought she was beautiful like that. I guess. I don't understand it myself.

[lukesdiary]

... Oh. Yeah, I guess it would be.

[He snorts.]

Weird.

[bigbadrose]

[Giggles and nods.]

And meanwhile I kind of think like the Doctor should be an honorary Earthling. He's saved Earth more than any of us, but he's technically not from Earth, but even so, it's not like immigrants aren't from their new country, right?

[lukesdiary]

... Makes sense to me, I guess. But why does he keep saving Earth if it's not even his world?

[bigbadrose]

Because he's a good guy! [Derp.] He tries to save everyone. Except himself. So that's why he needs me, because otherwise he forgets he's part of everyone.

[lukesdiary]

Oh.

[That brought back memories too ... how he had tried to sacrifice himself to save the others ... the world ... and because he had thought it was the only way to atone for destroying a town with his powers.... They hadn't wanted him to do it, but he had kept persisting. And when he had finally realized he wanted to live, he had discovered he was dying.

He probably has a far-off look now.]

[bigbadrose]

You okay?

[lukesdiary]

[Luke snaps back to attention.]

Oh. Yeah, I'm fine.

[It all seems so long ago now....

He stands up with the empty cup.]

That was good. So do we have to pay for this or something?

[He isn't about to repeat the disaster from home when he innocently walked off with an apple, not knowing he had to pay for it.]

[bigbadrose]

Nope! In the other shops, you have to kind of... go through the motions of checking out. It's like he's trying to train the ghosts, or automation computers.

[Hand wave. That's INCREDIBLY ominous if you know what she's saying, but--] Don't think about it too much. [She assumes no one other than the Doctor would know, and the Doctor would just fix it. Endless faith.]

[lukesdiary]

... Okay. He? You mean the Captain? Why would he need to train the ghosts? Aren't they just dead people who'd already know this stuff?

[He probably will keep thinking about it.]

[bigbadrose]

[Doodles a finger in circles on the table.] Not really. Ghosts from time periods wouldn't know a more modern system, and ghosts are kind of like people's routines that they couldn't kick even when dead. [A slight wince.]

I've been a ghost before. I don't recommend it.

[lukesdiary]

... That makes sense.... I guess....

[And then he does a double-take.]

You were dead?! And now you're not?! How?!

[He had thought his was a highly unique case....]

[bigbadrose]

Nope.... Not dead. [More of a wince.] Just almost. You kind of lose control at that point, and then others can take advantage of it, by making you do instincts. Like seeking help.