sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #5

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!tdm

TEST DRIVE MEME #5

1. not subtle revealings

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

[the reflections are missing. all of them. in mirrors. in television screens. on the backs of spoons. nothing looks back at you.

then, figures do show up. not your own, like you'd expect. thin, wispy apparitions, people with pleading eyes and hands, reaching out to place their palms against the surface, from their own end. faces familiar and not, beckoning, mouthing words you just can't quite make out. help me, it might be. get me out, perhaps. just until you're close enough, until your skin warms the surface of whatever it is you're peering into. and then, those same hands wrap, all too real, burning-cold against your flesh, and pull, trying to drag you through the surface, making up for their lack of strength with desperation. any flesh unlucky enough to enter the reflection comes back bone-white and cold, all sensation dead, though it will fade within a few hours.

in retrospect, it looks a bit more like they were saying something different. something more like, better you than me. or maybe it's not even words at all. they look a bit more like they're laughing.]

3. complex mementos

[but, hey. sometimes changes are good! like, today, in Playback, there's a brand-new game available for all the children to play! it's an old-fashioned sort of claw machine, the type that's so large, a particularly dedicated kindergartner could wriggle their way inside. the prizes vary, and sit loose: bags of candy, stuffed toys, firearms, painfully early-00s electronics, actually that one just looks like a dead iguana, tiny ship-branded knickknacks... like all the other games in the arcade, the game starts up automatically upon being touched; lack of quarters shouldn't keep you from having fun! pro tip: they are loaded, and they will go off if you suck at claw games and let it fall.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She doesn't even realize who it is at first. It's not until she really hears his voice that it dawns on her who he is. And at first, all she can do is stare up at him in confusion. Because up until this point, Chrissy's been working with the assumption that this is some kind of version of the afterlife. It's not what she thought it would be, but it's something.

And she thinks she's grateful for that. Or was, up until she was almost grabbed and pulled through a television set. But seeing Eddie here now makes her question everything all over again.]

Eddie? [Her voice is almost a squeak at first.] Eddie, oh my gosh.

[To see a familiar face is such a relief, even as something gnaws at her and tells her he doesn't deserve to be here.]

I guess this isn't any different from when you found me back home. [She had been freaking out that day in the forest, too. Chrissy still feels bad about that. She feels even worse that this feels identical to that day. It makes her heart sink, because she can't seem to stop from pulling her into her trauma. He's a nice guy. He doesn't deserve that.]

Sorry.

[It's rude to stare. Eddie knows that. But do the rules still apply in a hallucinaton? That's what this has to be, right? He'd witnessed her destruction that night in his trailer- even had a front row seat- and he'd been too paralyzed to even try to save her. And then he'd just left her there like a fucking coward. And yet, here she is, staring up at him like she doesn't quite recognize him.]

Hi. Yea, that's me. I'm here.

[It's hardly the most impressive thing he could have come up with, and frankly, Eddie is still not entirely sure where here is.

Real or not, it's still nice to see the face that's been haunting his dreams for what feels like years.]

Never did sell you that half-ounce.

[His voice is soft, thoughtful, though there's a hint of playfulness if she squints. Maybe it's for the best that she hadn't taken anything that day.

His eyes narrow a fraction when she speaks up again, though.]

Don't.

[Hearing her trying to apologize now is just too much.]

I should be the one apologizing to you.

[The way he looks at her and says that gets her to frown. It starts slowly, her hint of a smile melting away into a sad look that dissolves into a deep look of discontent. The things she remembers experiencing before waking up here are awful. Terrifying.

That thing she faced was evil.

But Eddie's looking at her like maybe it's his fault somehow.]

I wish...

[Her voice is so soft that even she can barely hear it. Her hands tuck up further into the sleeves of her sweater, and she tries to speak again.]

I wish that you had sold it to me. Maybe then I wouldn't have been so scared.

[Because he was there, wasn't he? It was his uncle's trailer, he lived there. He was there with her, and she isn't sure what she subjected him to. But judging by his reaction, it must have been awful.]

But please, Eddie. Don't apologize. I can't remember what happened. Not completely. But I remember you were trying to help.

[And that's the important part. That he saw she was needing help at all. Not a single other person noticed.]

[He really needs to stop staring. This isn't the first time he's seen her since that night- though it is the first time she's ever spoken to him. Typically, dream-Chrissy tends to just cycle through the things she'd said that day. This, though? This feels different.
Realer, somehow.]

Nah, you're too smart to get mixed up in that shit. I'm not sure if it would've helped anyway.

[How many times has he replayed that night in his head, wishing he'd been just a little bit smarter or braver or faster? He's honestly lost count at this point.]

What's the last thing you remember?

[With any luck, it won't be much. Eddie would give just about anything to not remember, but nothing has seemed to work so far.]

Wish I'd actually been able to help...

[As good as it is to see a familiar face, and as much comfort as she's taking from Eddie being here? There's an element to this conversation that is putting her more and more on edge. He isn't talking to her like he witnessed something weird happening.

He's talking to her like she's a ghost. And she goes pale as she trembles a little, her mind trying to quickly work to process that. But nothing really drowns out the memory that his question brings forward, and she swallows roughly as it replays in her mind.]

He told me not to cry. And that my suffering was over.

[She had been so, so afraid. What comes after that is something she isn't entirely sure on, but she knows she's not ready to talk about it. ]

What do you wish you could have helped with?

[It's ever so timidly asked, like she's afraid of the answer. She thinks she knows. But she wants to hear him say it. She wants to hear him say that she's supposed to be dead.]

[How twisted is that, telling her that her suffering was over? What kills him the most is that she had been suffering and he hadn't even noticed. Sure, he'd known something was up, but he'd been too willing to take her words at face value. Maybe if he'd been less preoccupied by the fact that she was actually talking to him like someone she could stand to be around, he might have been able to do... something.

It's too late for that, now.]

Fuck. I'm sorry. I just thought you were on edge because of what we were doing.

[The question isn't one he wants to answer. Eddie shakes his head and squeezes his eyes shut, as though doing so will banish the memory from his brain. But he realizes he's being selfish. It's unfair to her to ďeny her the truth just because it's unpleasant.]

I wish I could have helped you! Like maybe if I'd have known it was more than just you worrying about being caught buying drugs- or being seen with the freak... I don't know. Maybe I could have done something.

[The words come out in a rush, as though the question flipped a switch, and now he just can't seem to shut up.]

But I didn't... and now you're gone. Because of me.

[That last part is quieter, just barely loud enough for her to hear. Eddie can't even bring himself to look at her now.]

[And in that moment, Chrissy releases that no one actually saw her at all. They only could see a picture perfect head cheerleader and prom queen that smiled emptily and went through the motions. No one had any idea something was really wrong.

Even Eddie had only thought she was nervous about a drug deal, which she figures makes sense. Why would he think anything differently?

But he keeps talking, and she doesn't have time to respond to or really think about what he says. Because at the end of it, he tells her what she needs to know. She's gone.

Because of him?

Confusion is clearly written on her face as she stares over at him. She thinks back to the conversation they had in the forest. Thinks about how animated he had been. Remembers how he had smiled at her. It's like she's taken every ounce of that and taken it away from him.]

You —

[Her chest starts rising and falling faster as panic settles in. She's gone.

Gone.

She's dead and gone. That replays over and over, until she backs her way against a wall. The surprise from that is enough to anchor her back into reality.]

No. Not because of you. Because I wasn't strong enough.

[It feels wrong to let him take the blame for something he really had no hand in. So she steps in a little closer, reaching out to touch at his arm.]

Okay?

[He hadn't really meant to say that last part out loud, but Eddie definitely blames himself for how things happened. He understands, logically, that it's not actually his fault but it's still impossible to not feel guilty.

If he hadn't been so preoccupied with string to sell her drugs- with how fucking nice it felt to just sit and have a conversation with someone who seemed like she enjoyed being around him- maybe he could have noticed that something was wrong. Now, after the fact, it's incredibly easy to beat himself up over it.

She's so quick to insist that he's blameless, though, and that makes his heart hurt. Eddie blinks and lifts his head to look at her again when she touches him.]

Don't do that.

[And sure, telling her not to blame herself is incredibly hypocritical as he's standing here blaming himself, but really, he's just finding it hard to believe that it was her fault either.]

I'm sorry you were suffering. And I'm sorry I didn't see it.

[He wants to ask now, the way he should have before, but it feels like it's too late for that. It's probably none of his business, and maybe it would be too painful for her to talk about even now. The shift in subject is a welcome one, even if he imagines they'll swing back to the elephant in the room eventually.]

[What is she supposed to say to that? Chrissy can't find any words that feel right. Not at first. And even though she's trying so hard to stay strong, she can't help the fact that she starts to cry.]

You're the last person to make me smile.

[It's a peace offering. A way for him to not feel the guilt that she can see he's dealing with.]

And you see me now.

[He knows now that she's suffering. That things aren't well. And maybe that means he'll stick around for a little while until they both find their footing. They went to middle school together. She can still remember that talent show. They've been at Hawkins High together for years. And even if their paths didn't really cross until that fateful meeting out in the forest, it feels like maybe their both being here now is one of those meant to be situations.]

I liked making you smile.

[He liked being with her in general, current conversation notwithstanding. But if he's honest, even this is better than not having her around at all.

Eddie doesn't want her to cry. He hasn't had a lot of experience with trying to comfort someone when they're upset, simply because nobody ever seems to want to get that close. Now, though, he genuinely feels like he has to try.

He doesn't pull her into his arms so much as he takes a couple of steps closer and wraps his arms around her. If she wants to duck out of the way again, he won't stop her, but for now, he's there if she needs someone to lean on.]

Wish I'd seen you sooner.

[The second his arms wrap around her, it's like she's been given permission to keep crying. So she does, only feeling a little awkward about the fact he's having to comfort her when he's got some kind of trauma to deal with too. But she lets herself cry, and she eventually brings her arms up to wrap around him in return. And when a minute or two pass and she's finally able to breathe again, she lifts her head so she can look up at him.]

I really thought this was some kind of afterlife or something.

[But it can't be with him here. Can it?]

But it helps to not be alone. I'm not as scared with you here.

[Eddie can count on one hand the number of times he's seen anyone crying that wasn't in some dumb horror movie. It's not something he particularly enjoys when it's not happening to some fictional character. It's also not something he enjoys when it is, but this is different.]

I thought it might be a hallucination. You know there's a fucking skeleton guy walking around?

[It's not the first time he's seen her since that night, but he doesn't necessarily want to tell her that right now because he's pretty sure it's just a weird thing to say.]

I know what you mean.

[If this were any other time, Chrissy would focus in on that second part and let it be the start of an incredibly happy and likely very cute conversation. But it's hard to focus on that when the first thing he said is replaying in her mind over and over again.]

Really? A skeleton? [Okay, so maybe it is the afterlife. Or one really complex hallucination. But she's pretty sure she's not capable of hallucinating Eddie Munson quite like this. In fact, she doesn't think she's creative enough to hallucinate someone like him at all. So she's banking on the hope that just maybe this all is real. It's weird, and it's confusing.

But she desperately wants to be alive.

Which means that maybe she shouldn't sound so excited about a skeleton guy just walking around. But she's curious.]

That sounds pretty freaking metal, if you ask me.

[She can't bring herself to say fucking yet. But someday she'll get there. Just like she's managed to pull a smile out now. This place is scary, she's still seeing things, and she probably died back in Hawkins. But she's got a friend here, and that's a good start to trying to feel more like herself.]

I know. It doesn't make much sense to me either.

[But what about this place does make sense? So far, his time here has been spent pouring his guilt over being a coward on someone he was pretty sure he was never going to see again and having a confusing conversation with a literal skeleton. Eddie feels like it's probably safe to assume that this is either a dream or a bad trip. But neither of those options would explain why Chrissy would be here.

There's no time to question her about it, though, before she speaks up again. Eddie blinks, as though he's trying to wrap his head around what has just happened.]

It was metal as fuck.

[Maybe it wasn't the most epic thing he's ever seen but in terms of weird shit he's seen during one of his trips, this was still pretty up there. What does that say about this place? He honestly has no idea. That thought should probably terrify him a bit more than it does, but after everything that's happened during the last handful of days, Eddie feels like he can probably handle anything this place can throw at him.]

[His agreeing with her manages to make her laugh. When she pulls away from him, it's with a bright smile. She's not better. Far from it, in fact. But things feel lighter and not as scary when she's with him. Nothing on this cruise ship makes any sense to her, but she thinks that maybe it's okay. They can figure it out.]

Do you know what I think?

[She grabs his hand for a second, just long enough to start pulling him with her toward the door. They don't need to stick around in this room any longer.]

I think we should see if we can find the skeleton.

[And if she can repress some of those memories of what's happened to her by doing something simple like exploring the cruise liner they're on, then that's something she's going to take advantage of trying.]

[It's nice to hear her laugh despite the oddity of the situation. He'd meant what he said before too- making her smile that day in the woods had been a rare sunny spot slicing through a cloud of gloom. His head tilts curiously at the question.]

Tell me.

[Eddie's gaze flicks down when she grabs his hand and he allows her to drag him toward the door. Truthfully, he's more than a little eager to leave this room behind, and if that involves being dragged around a cruise ship in search of a skeleton he might or might not have imagined eaerlier, he's willing to at least humor the idea.]

What do you plan to do if we find him?

[Eddie's not even sure what he'll do if they run into Skullduggery. He'd seemed easy enough to talk to before, so it shouldn't be a problem. Maybe.]

I —

[All of the temporary confidence she had been showing shrinks away, and her shoulders slump a little as her hands tuck up into the sleeves of her sweater. She's still walking forward though, which is better than the panic she had been dealing with a moment ago.]

I'm not sure actually. I've never seen a real skeleton before. But if we find him and I can see him too, wouldn't that mean this isn't some kind of hallucination or a dream?

[Chrissy isn't particularly smart, but she's at least perceptive enough to pick up on that. If they both see something he thought he was hallucinating, then it couldn't be. It would mean it was real. Just as real as the feel of his hand bumping against hers as they walk. Her fingers curl against his briefly before slipping away, taking comfort in the fact he's solid and warm. She is too, she thinks. And for the first time since waking up here, hopes that she's real and alive.]

[It's mostly curiosity that has him asking, so Eddie steals a glance over at her when she hesitates. She looks a little deflated, but otherwise seems fine for now.]

I mean I'd never seen one outside of like. Science class? You do make a pretty solid point, though. If we're both able to see him, I feel like it eliminates the possibility of this being a hallucination- unless we're both hallucinating.

[Which is, as far as Eddie is aware, impossible. But up until very recently, a lot of things seemed impossible.]

You don't feel like a dream.

[She'd felt real enough before in his arms, however brief it had been. She feels real now, walking beside him, hands bumping occasionally as they head out of the room. He manages to make it all the way through the doorway before he finally gives in to the impulse and takes her hand, lacing their fingers together.]

[The softest little gasp escapes her when he takes hold of her hand. It's a surprise that he's doing it, but it's far from unwelcome. In fact, it makes her smile, and her hand squeezes his.]

Really? Because you do to me.

[It's soft, but flirtatious. Something playful to try and make him smile again like he had before. It's ridiculous and cheesy, and she knows it. But she chuckles after saying it, ducking her head to try and hide the smile on her face. Obviously he feels just as real as she does. But it's hard to deny the fact that her hand in his feels right somehow. It feels safe. And it feels very much like an extension of the last night she had been in his company in Hawkins.

Natural. At ease. It's funny how one little gesture can make everything feel right in the world again.]

[Eddie notices that little gasp and glances over in time for her to squeeze his hand. And then he's chuckling when she speaks up.]

Yea? Maybe you should feel more just to be sure.

[It might be the dumbest thing he's ever said to her, or anyone, but he's in a fairly decent mood all things considered. She's fortunately not looking at him, so it's easy to hide the dorky grin her comment slid onto his face. And sure, the fact that she's not pulling her hand away is only helping that mood. It almost feels like that day in the woods might have, if he'd had the guts to reach for her then.]

[That just might be the dumbest thing anyone's ever said to her ever. But it's cute, and it's sweet, and it's funny. She laughs again, this time warmer and louder. And while they walk, she doesn't pull her hand away. Not unless he tries to pull his back first.]

Eddie Munson, are you flirting with me?

[She teases, the easy back and forth of talking with him making her feel like it's okay to give even a playful accusation. It's hard to think he'll mind. If anything, he probably won't be expecting it from her. But when she glances at him and steals a glance at his smile, she thinks that maybe she likes surprising him. It helps further distance her mind from the heavy talk they just had, makes her think that maybe she can be something other than just the dead girl he feels like he failed.]

What if I am?

[Does she even want him to be flirting with her? Eddie's usually pretty good at reading people, but this is entirely new territory for him. Eddie Munson doesn't flirt. And he especially doesn't flirt with cute head cheerleaders just because they were nice to him once. That would be kind of ridiculous, wouldn't it?

Maybe he hadn't initially intended it that way, but with the question hanging there, he realizes that maybe he wanted to after all.

Either way, he gives her hand another squeeze and turns away, using the pretense of trying to spot their bony friend. Where would a skeleton be the most likely to hang out, anyway?]

[What if I am?

Maybe he's the one surprising her now. She glances back up at him right as he turns away, and her smile becomes a little more confident as she decides to take the lead. She's pretty sure a skeleton will stand out, but even with the pretense of looking for him giving them an excuse to look around, Chrissy's simply enjoying exploring the Eterna.]

If you were, then I'd be okay with that.

[The elevators are up ahead, but Chrissy doesn't pick up the pace to get to them. She keeps her pace steady, letting her answer to him hang in the air between them. It's all innocent, she thinks. There was something there that day in the clearing. It's why she had felt safe enough to go back to his place with him. She never would have if there hadn't been a little spark. It's that same spark that has her smile growing, until she's looking back up at him.]

[The odds of overlooking a skeleton in a place like this are pretty slim to none. Still, Eddie's glad to have an excuse to hide behind for the time being. He's in the process of scanning the room for a familiar face when she speaks up again.]

Oh. Cool.

[It's a bit of a lackluster answer, he's sure. And Eddie feels a little bad about how dorky it probably sounds after the teasing. It's just an odd position to be in. They've fallen back into the same easy back-and-forth he remembers from before, but there's something else, too. He'd felt it that day in the clearing, and he feels it now. And honestly, it scares him a little.

When he turns back to ask her something and catches her smiling up at him, Eddie's breath hitches. The question is almost immediately forgotten in favor of flashing her a sheepish smile.]

So uh... where to now?

Maybe we could forget the skeleton.

[She suggests, no longer feeling like she needs to use it as an excuse to explore things with him. He's holding her hand, he's just joked about flirting with her. The mood is lightened a little, even if she can still feel the tension there.

They approach the elevators just then, and she digs in her heels a little to get him to stop.]

Someone showed me where an arcade is. [It's not really her thing, but maybe he likes to play games. It's the one familiar spot to her on the entire boat, so she feels certain that she knows how to get there on her own.]

Have you seen it yet?

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