TEST DRIVE MEME #5

[sailmods]

1. not subtle revealings

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

[the reflections are missing. all of them. in mirrors. in television screens. on the backs of spoons. nothing looks back at you.

then, figures do show up. not your own, like you'd expect. thin, wispy apparitions, people with pleading eyes and hands, reaching out to place their palms against the surface, from their own end. faces familiar and not, beckoning, mouthing words you just can't quite make out. help me, it might be. get me out, perhaps. just until you're close enough, until your skin warms the surface of whatever it is you're peering into. and then, those same hands wrap, all too real, burning-cold against your flesh, and pull, trying to drag you through the surface, making up for their lack of strength with desperation. any flesh unlucky enough to enter the reflection comes back bone-white and cold, all sensation dead, though it will fade within a few hours.

in retrospect, it looks a bit more like they were saying something different. something more like, better you than me. or maybe it's not even words at all. they look a bit more like they're laughing.]

3. complex mementos

[but, hey. sometimes changes are good! like, today, in Playback, there's a brand-new game available for all the children to play! it's an old-fashioned sort of claw machine, the type that's so large, a particularly dedicated kindergartner could wriggle their way inside. the prizes vary, and sit loose: bags of candy, stuffed toys, firearms, painfully early-00s electronics, actually that one just looks like a dead iguana, tiny ship-branded knickknacks... like all the other games in the arcade, the game starts up automatically upon being touched; lack of quarters shouldn't keep you from having fun! pro tip: they are loaded, and they will go off if you suck at claw games and let it fall.]

Comments

[cheerleader]

[Her eyes look down to her hand, and she wishes that she hadn't let go. Especially given the question she wants to ask him is something that could be hard for him to talk about. He had taken so much blame on himself, and it breaks her heart that he'd do that.]

I want to know something.

[She starts, looking up at him with sad eyes that hold sorrow she's not going to let flow out of her in tears. It's one thing to get caught up in the moment and be emotional. But she can't bring herself to cry anymore. Not today.]

How long has it been for you? Since I —

[Here she goes. She can say this. All she has to do is be brave.]

Well, you know.

[munstar]

[He looks up at that statement. Five little words should not be nearly so terrifying, and yet.

Eddie's quiet, watching her thoughtfully while he waits for her to continue. There is any number of things she could be wondering about, he supposes, and it's not like he wants to keep things from her.

The question is, ultimately, not one he's expecting. Though it makes sense.]

Oh. It hasn't been that long.

[How long has it been? Now that he's thinking bout it, Eddie isn't sure he knows specifically.]

A week, maybe? It's hard to keep track. There's been a lot happening.

[cheerleader]

Oh.

[She slowly exhales the breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. Only a week? That's hardly any time at all. It helps explain his guilt though. It's still fresh for him. Only a week maybe.

Chrissy sits on the edge of her bed, looking up and over to him. She's anxiously fidgeting, her fingers working into knots as she works up the courage to confront what she's most afraid of.]

You were there with me. [They had already established that, but it leads into the question she's hesitant to ask.] Did it look like it hurt that much?

[munstar]

I was.

[Well, at least she hadn't asked about what had been happening.

That question is a little surprising, though, and Eddie's not sure how to answer. It's not that he doesn't know the answer so much as that he's not sure it's something she should hear. But keeping it from her after he'd already told her so much seems dumb.

Eddie has yet to move out of the doorway. He's still standing with his back to the door, half-afraid to go any further into the room.] I was hoping you wouldn't ask that, but I don't want to start lying now, so...

[There are a lot of things he's hoping she won't ask, if he's being completely honest.] It looked like it hurt like hell.

[cheerleader]

[Sitting suddenly feels like a bad choice. She feels sick to her stomach as she promptly stands up and wraps her arms around herself. The cabin isn't that bad, but she takes to pacing around it anyway. He could've lied, she realizes. But he didn't. And even if what he has to say upsets her, she's grateful for the fact he was honest.

As she paces, she swears she can remember more details. She may be flooded by the memory of the fear she had felt, but it's like she has phantom pains in her arms and legs. Even her eyes are aching, which she attributes to the fact she's crying again.

By the time she stops pacing, she's standing directly before him. Her hand is in his once again, and she's not sure if she grabbed him or if he reached out to stop her. ]

Thank you. For staying with me.

[She hasn't pieced together yet that there was a price for him to pay for being there. That he suffered greatly for her being killed in his uncle's trailer.]

[munstar]

[The memory of that night has been haunting him for what feels like forever now. Talking about it now, even in such vague terms, is difficult but there was no way he could have lied to her.

She stands abruptly and Eddie has to fight the urge to cross the room and pull her into a hug. But he stays put, dark eyes following her path as she paces the room. He wants to say something, but he's at a loss for words. It's not a feeling he particularly likes, though it seems to be becoming more frequent as of late.

When she does finally stop pacing, it's to stand right in front of him. Eddie's not entirely sure who reached out first, but her hand is in his again. He gives her a reassuring squeeze and smiles.]

I couldn't just leave.

[cheerleader]

[Their hands are easier to look at right now than his face. She worries that he might be looking at her like she's a ghost again, and she isn't sure she can handle that right now. But her hand can squeeze his back in return, even as her shoulders slump and she frowns.]

What happens —

[Her question dies off before it can be heard. What happens after, she feels herself tempted to ask.

It makes sense that he'd call someone. Her parents' lives would be shattered. Jason might be sad that he lost his girlfriend right before prom. There would be a funeral. But if it's only been a week for him, then maybe that hasn't even happened yet.

Being seventeen and faced with the reality that you die and accepting that you have a funeral and leave your family behind is a lot to handle all at once. In an attempt to keep from crying again, she pulls herself in to bury her face against his chest.

She can't ask that question. Not yet. ]

What happens if none of this is real? You're not going to leave me alone here, are you?

[munstar]

[Her inability- or unwillingness- to look at him doesn't go unnoticed. If he's honest, it's actually a bit easier when she's not looking at him right now.

The aborted question shouldn't be nearly as terrifying as it is. Eddie feels like he can probably make an educated guess as to where she was trying to go with it, but there's a small part of him that's actually relieved when she doesn't.

Lying about it or making something up to make her feel better isn't an option, and he honestly doubts she'd want to hear that the town had decided to pile more stupid shit onto his name. As far as convenient scapegoats go, Eddie supposes he's probably top tier. And why shouldn't they blame the town freak for the death of one of Hawkins High's golden girls? It fits the narrative, after all.

She's moving again, burying her face in the Hellfire shirt he's been wearing for days and effectively derailing that train of thought. Eddie frowns and wraps an arm around her.]

It feels pretty real to me. [He's still on the fence about all of that, though.] I'm not going to leave you.

[cheerleader]

[It's a promise she's not sure he can keep. It doesn't feel right to say so. Not when his arm is around her and he's trying to comfort her. A shuddering breath is the only warning he gets before an arm slowly wraps around him in return. If someone had told her a couple of weeks ago that she'd be standing like this with Eddie Munson, she wouldn't have believed them.

She had always thought he'd be mean and scary. There's nothing but an abundance of guilt that she had ever assumed he might be terrifying. But she knows better now, and also knows that maybe he finds her terrifying in return. That thought makes her think back to their conversation in the forest outside of school and it gives her the strength to smile. Even if it's just a little, it's enough.]

Yeah. It feels real to me too.

[Probably the realest anything has felt in years, actually.]

So I'm not going anywhere either, okay? We'll figure this out together.

[munstar]

[Eddie's not generally in the habit of making promises, particularly when he knows he might not be able to keep them. Getting someone's hopes up and then shattering them has never been his thing. It's just easier to avoid putting himself in that situation.

So when he says he's not going to leave, he's actually surprised by the realization that he means it. He hadn't actually said the words, but they're just a formality at this point. There's still the question of whether or not this is all some big elaborate hallucination or something, but until that turns out to be true, he can at least make an effort to stick around for as long as she wants him to.]

That's a good sign, right?

[Or maybe it's just wishful thinking. Eddie's lost count of the number of times he'd wished for the chance to see her again.]

Okay... But I should tell you- If I wake up some morning and realize you're gone again, I'm gonna be in such a bad mood.

[It's an admittedly terrible joke, mostly meant to lighten the mood a little.]

[cheerleader]

[What starts out as a laugh turns into a small fit of giggles. Something about the way he says it just strikes her as so light and sweet given the subject matter they're talking about. Of course, the heaviness of all that isn't far from her mind. So her tears finally fall, a combination of joy at the fact he's able to joke around with her at all, and sorrow that they've been put in this position at all.

Maybe she clings to him a little tighter as she goes through her emotions, and she winds up leaning against him. He's so quickly become her support. The head cheerleader with the most unusual cheerleader of her own.]

I'm sorry!

[She apologizes once the laughter subsides, the tears remaining as she pulls back enough to look up at him. A smile graces her features, cluing him in to the fact that she's not completely upset.]

But I was about to say basically the same thing to you.

[munstar]

[Well, he'd been trying to make her laugh, so he's going to call that a win for now. He's quiet as she devolves from laughter to tears, content to just be there for her to lean on. It's nice to hear her laugh, even under such crazy circumstances.]

Nah. Don't be sorry. I missed hearing you laugh.

[When she pulls back to look at him, Eddie smiles and lifts a hand to brush the tears away with his thumb.]

Don't worry, princess. I'm not that easy to get rid of.