sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The name she uses for him catches him very off-guard. He'd run across the word 'estival' (of or pertaining to summer) while considering his name change, but had dismissed it as a mere flight of fancy, too silly and strange for a proper business man.]

Mr. Summer, actually. And I was trying to avoid the mess, with everything flying around here.

Ah! [cocks head to the side] Mr. Summer, then.

[passenger preference: catalogued. she crouches down a bit further.]

I can't think of anything messier than the floor! You always dress so nicely; it'd be a shame if you got dusty! [...] Not that our ship is dusty, of course, but, well...

[it kinda is.]

It'd be even more of a shame if I got hit by a flying steak knife.

[But he stands, gently dusting himself off.]

It's not exactly the height of entertainment, needing to dodge angry cutlery and furniture.

[if she had eyebrows, they'd be furrowed.]

That's not very nice! If the other passengers are bullying you, you just have to call my name, okay? I'll be there quicker than you can say Jack Robinson!

It's not the passengers, it's the... [He gestures at the room, before looking at her.]

The ghosts?

[. . .]

Ah... We don't, um...

[she turns her head from side to side, then her voice lowers.]

... we don't currently have access to psychiatric services, but, um... I am a very good listener?

[So, the ghosts weren't something the faceless dame would talk about, huh?]

I'm no weak sister, Miss Friday, I don't need a headshrinker.

[shakes her head] There's nothing weak about that; everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes! I talk to the Captain all the time!

Right, but do you lay your problems at his feet? Nevermind, I'm not sure I want to know if you do.

[He considers her, taking in that unsightly blank face for a moment.]

How long have you worked on this ship, anyway?

Oh, I never have problems! [that's not allowed.] And I've worked here my entire life!

The only people I know who don't have problems are the dead, sister.

Oh, I'm not dead! [pause, cocks head] Technically!

Technically? What do you mean by that?

[He almost wonders if it's like the grey-skinned Lord Hawthorne coming back after he definitely totally did died.]

Well, you have to live before you can die, don't you? It'd be pretty silly if you could do it before!

You've never lived?

[He's visibly startled by the idea, moving back away from her.]

What are you?

I'm Gal Friday!

[duh]

I would have thought that was the answer to who you are, not what.

Can't it be both? [pause] I'm also a Pisces!

If you have a zodiac sign, that means you have a birthday. Which implies you were born, which would mean you're alive.

[...]

Right?

It's a real pickle of a philosophical question, isn't it!

[a shrug] I'm as alive as you want me to be!

[Johnny frowns over that, not sure he even knows how alive he wants her.]

Right then. It's all a little beyond me, philosophy. I like to deal with real things. I'm a businessman, not some theoretician.

[As that last word comes out, he almost grimaces, because there's a specific theoretician he can't help but wonder how he'd stack up against in person.

But Gio Sakakibara is dead and not here and he really doesn't need to be thinking about how he might have reacted to the Serena Eterna or Friday.]

TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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