sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

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Not unless you're that way inclined. [John is referring to a wild night in bed strapped to the headboard being fucked senseless of course but at least he's not being very explicit about it. Even though 'that way inclined' might be a little vague.]

Been on a cruise before? [He's going to guess no, in which case he's more than happy to show her around even though he's not a staff member or a frequent cruiser. He'd even do it without pants, but hopefully as they wander around there will be pants for the taking, or at least something to make him half-decent.]

I'm not.

[ No matter how one took it. Even if yes, it was vague. ]

No. We traveled by horse, cart, on foot. I wasn't on the horse often but I know how. If we'd stayed in Sinuessa en Valle longer we might have taken a ship but...

[ We, ask in the household she belonged to. ]

Have you?

Sinus-where? [He's been all over, magical artifact hunting and chasing skirts and pants and all that, but he's never come across Sinuessa en Valle.]

I've a feeling it's not a ship like this. [Just based on the horse and cart talk.]

Not much of a cruise person meself, but aye, been before. They'll have everything you need on board. There'll be fifteen, twenty floors of restaurants, casinos, a pool or three on the upper deck, theatre, stage and all that shite. [He just emerged from his room so he doesn't actually know anything about the Serena Eterna and all its facilities; he could be wrong but most cruise ships he's been on have been fairly standard in their offerings.]

You'd need a few hours just to find your way around, but I'm sure you'll have a good time, mm? [At least before they drop her off in whatever fresh hell she'd come from.] Now tell me more about this Sinus ville place.

Sinuessa en Valle. On the Tyrrhenian Sea, Vulturnus is ten kilometers south. It's walls make it quite protected. [ Why the Rebels wanted it and why Marcus Crassius had claimed it. ]

No. Not a ship like this. Not even a building or arena with that many levels. [ Much less with so much mixed use. This was a city unto itself. ]

Sinuessa was taken by Spartacus and Rebels - mostly all fugitīvī. I joined them after Marcus Crassus retook the city, he had them trapped upon the ridge. During their escape I secreted myself among them. I disliked leaving, we had just established a Villa Rustica of which I was to be Vilica. It was a beautiful villa, view of the sea and the sea air ever present. I just couldn't serve Tiberius.

[He has no idea where these places are but while he's not much of a vase or statue kind of bloke, he can't imagine nobody would be familiar with these kinds of Classical names and the serious Ancient Rome vibes she's giving off more and more.]

Sounds lovely, lass. Shame a prick had to come along and take a great big shite on it. Well I don't think we're on that sea, but I could be wrong. [The ship just has a more 20th, maybe 21st century feel so he's thinking she might be the one out of time and out of place here.]

Soon as I find me some pants, we should have a wee tour. You'll love the loo - we've come a wee way from the ol' long drop. [Because why not toilet humour when you first meet someone?]

It was. So much better than the Followers' Camp.

[ Given Crassius, Caeser, and Pompey had just begun to feel their alliance as a possibly, he is not wrong. ]

As long as I'm far from Tiberius' hands, I can't say I much care if I'm on one sea or another. [ Nevermind she killed him. She's not convinced she's not dead or dying and in some strange Underworld. ]

Oh we have running water for out toilets. Even the public ones do, at least in the cities. The camps just had latrines, which I could gladly never see again. [ But she laughs even if she's not yet completely relaxed. Her temperament runs warm and the lack of chains and then man's lighthearted nature helped that return. ]
It was rude to abduct you without your clothing. But pants?

[ Roman sentiments. Don't mind her. ]

But you haven't had the pleasure of sitting there doing a nice big one and the lights turn off on you halfway because everything's running on fucking sensors these days. [Bonus if she can decipher between what he's actually saying and the conflicting cheeriness in his tone whether he's saying this is a good or a bad thing.]

Aye, pants! But if you'd rather dress me in a toga I wouldn't say no. [He'd have gladly offered to be her Dominious in bed but that'll likely be only fun for him and traumatising for her.] Love me a good toga party. Nice wee breeze caressing the bollocks when you leave it all hanging out there and there's always plenty o' booze.

I think I'll have to trust you. [ Because no she can't decipher that. ]

I do know how to do that. Including several styles. Tunics would be what most would wear day to day, togas are for formal occasions or when visiting the Senate. [ Probably would be given Tiberious' choice of retaliation against his father's punishment. ]
Easier to mend or weave as well.

You'll see what I mean when you get to those tai chi-activated taps. [Hopefully the loos on board have lights that just stay on, or rely on good old switches. Classic case of why fix something that isn't broken just to save a few dollars here and a few kilowatts there that overall ends up being much more of an annoyance than a profit gain. Don't even try and convince him these blasted places give a toss about the environment to install these bloody lights now.]

I'd wear a tunic too. [It doesn't have to be a toga. Although talk of togas in the senate do solidify the fact that she must be from some ancient Roman civilisation.]

Probably wouldn't look that fetching in a toga... They've rather fallen out of style these past couple of millennia.

What is 'tai-chi'? [ she has priorities but learning was always to her benefit and she's not planning on stopping now. ]

Tunics are more comfortable to move about in, I'd imagine. [ Imagine only as women were forbidden from wearing them, not to mention you had to be a citizen, and she was a slave. Not even freemen were permitted to don a toga. ] Although, I have bittersweet memories of Tiberius when we first dressed him in his toga after he came of age. It was quite the ceremony and week even. My Dominus and Domina were so proud, as was I. [ Wait until she mentions preparing lunch for Julius Caeser! ]

They are impractical but so striking. Seeing a large group of men in white, trimmed with colors of their station - it was always a powerful image. [ And Marcus looked so beautiful in his. ]

[That just gets a laugh out of him. Of course she wouldn't know what tai chi is, or sensor-activated taps, let alone the frustration of not triggering said sensors.]

It's a Chinese martial art. Not-- necessarily something you would pick a fight with. It's slow and meditative and... grounding, somewhat. You might like to try it sometime, if they're having classes. [He imagines there would be some classes on board, if not tai chi then some kind of line dancing or muay thai or something fitness-related.]

We wear suits these days. Well, the classy folk do. Me, I'm working class street trash. [He's not going to undermine her experience in indentured servitude to some fat fucks, having a hand raising someone else's kid or what-have-you. But he doesn't bow down to anyone. And he doesn't think she should, either. They've left her chains behind now. That's where they should stay - left behind, in the past, and they can just keep moving forward now.]

Power belongs to the people. Not twenty cunts in bloody togas who get to make decisions for everyone else, feed you table scraps, make you grovel because it's fun, and fuck you in the arse when they're bored of breaking your spirit. [He doesn't mean to rant either, but nobody says 'fuck the authority' loud and proud like the punk rocker chaos-loving troublemaking street magician. Even if he sounds like a lunatic just striding down the corridor with his dick hanging out.]

You are a powerful image. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, love.

Oh. Silk comes from there, doesn't it? [ How she loved draping the fabric. Sewing it not so much. ] I've seen the legion drilling but didn't know people who weren't legionnaires or gladiators did them for exercise. [ Even when Marcus had been doing it, it was in preparation for war. ]

What do average people wear? And what is a suit, other than pants? [ She was curious, but still didn't see pants as all that practical, from a garment-making standpoint or just ease of wearing. ]

Me? I don't believe so. More than a few of Spartacus' followers felt I betrayed us all by killing a guard while my Dominius slept instead of him before I fled his tent. Marcus. Not Tiberius. And I chose to go back to him. He didn't treat us badly, in fact, our lives were much better than a great deal of Rome's freedmen or even the poor citizens. How Tiberius became was he was...I don't know. [ He can have a fun time unpicking all of this. ]

It does indeed. [He's never had the utter frustration that comes with dealing with silk, so he wouldn't know.]

T-shirt and jeans, I suppose? I'm not an average bloke. [And for once he's not actually making any sexual innuendos. He's aware that he's perfectly comfortable in his sloppy semi-work-looking wear, and he doesn't wear clothes that a lot of other people around him enjoy lounging around in.]

People grow used to the abuse. Sounds to me like you've spent too long huffing those fancy folks' farts. [He gives her a few reassuring little pats on the forearm.] Not to worry, little bird. You'll have more than a little taste of freedom on board this magnificent lady, [He's referring to the ship of course, but it might sound like he's talking about another person.] and then you'll wean yourself off of him in no time. If you see either of those wankers on board, let me know alright? I'll give them hell.

Are their arts spread through the world? [ He's not from there, or Rome, and seems from far away as such, she can only guess it much be widespread knowledge. ]

What are those? [ A t-shirt she'd parse as a short-sleeved, short-lengthed tunic. Jeans would just seem strange to her. ] Then you are? [ How one defines himself is important. ]

No, Marcus values people who work hard and skilled in their tasks. I was educated alongside his firstborn, and I'm often called on to assist in deliveries, even those of his youngest. We're always well-fed, our part of the villa kept as warm or cool as the rest, he doesn't tolerate others mistreating us. Even beyond what some would consider proper, such as when Hilarus struck Tiberius to teach lesson, even to drawing blood. It was lesson which needed taught. More severe one likely. Many citizens live ten to a room, the same size I share with two, or all but starve. Fire is a constant fear. Even if I was freed, by law Marcus would have to continue to provide some level of support for me. It's common for high-status slaves to want to stay, as it's a better position than starving or being killed in the streets. [ Better the slave of a kind master who can afford to take care of you, than free and poor and at the mercy of others while begging or trying to scrape a living by. ] Tiberius or Domina I'd care not to see. But if it's Publius, he's only a little boy. I'll allow him to wander alone.

More or less. There's a bit of everyone's everything everywhere now. [That probably doesn't make much sense, but he's talking about a kind of globalisation that wouldn't have been conceivable from her time. For better or worse, they're all in this hellhole together now regardless of what piece of dirt they might have spent most of their lives toiling.]

I like me shirt and coat. [Neither of which are currently present, but he wears his usual fare like armour. He wouldn't be caught dead wearing t-shirt and jeans.] But I'll point them out when I next see them. [He's fully expecting to come across a few people wearing some kind of band t-shirt or some wanky statement they think is bold and provocative across their chest and a bit of arse-hugging denims. Well they would at least be more common than tunics or going stark naked, he assumes.]

Or every citizen could live in dignity and not have to beg for scraps or squabble over the few pennies that 'trickle down' like warm piss. [He doubts she can understand where he's coming from though, she's still living in a world where wealth is a physical, tangible thing, so he doesn't push on the subject.] Look, all I'm saying is, there can be a better world than the one you live in. You're on a big boat far from 'ome. Don't worry about all that shite anymore.

Sounds confusing, if wonderful. So much to learn and see. [ Her education was probably the best gift she'd ever been granted and it had given her a hunger for it. ]

I would be pleased to know what they are. [ She's wearing a long rectangle artfully and carefully wrapped around her body with just one tie. She's not going to judge what people wear - she's comfortable and the fabric is expensively woven. She'd know, she tallied the bills. ]

You presume this is such a perfect world? [ Being a high-status slave was protection in Rome, and having a master like her's provided well for her as well - better than she could have being free and likely better than she could have as a citizen now, much less when her family was carted from Gaul. But being free, safe, well-fed, and protected was better still. ]

Aye, you won't cover it all in one wee trip. [He appreciates that she's taking this all in her stride and approaching this as an opportunity for learning and exploration. It's so easy to reject everything that's happening around her and just stick to what she knows. The old ways are best, and all that.]

Maybe there'll be something in the gift shop. Some terrible kitschy t-shirt at least with the company logo emblazoned on the chest. [Jeans, probably not as likely to be found in a gift shop, but you know, if there are clothing and apparel shops on board, they might sell jeans. Although he hasn't quite figured out how they're supposed to pay for everything yet, considering, you know, he was beamed up in here without even his underpants. It's not like he stuffed his wallet up his arsecrack.]

...no. I don't think I'll live to see it, to be honest with you lass. The Tiberiuses of the world want to keep us starved and desperate. [He's not overly optimistic about the world as it could be, either. He got out of that fight a long time ago when magic consumed his life. Still, he wouldn't be caught dead putting himself through that meat grinder.]

But. You're on 'oliday. There's no need to worry about all that while you're here, eh? You're just gonna have a great time for the next few days.

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TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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