TEST DRIVE MEME #1

[sailmods]

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

Comments

2

[myagic]

[Rita sure doesn't want to do this stupid drill, but she wants that faceless creep staring at her even less. So she goes along with it, seethingly, ready to snap at anyone taking too long and holding them all up because even if she's never seen or used one of these things before, it's not like the instructions are complicated.

And finally they're sort of free, and Rita practically rips her own vest off as well--before she hurls the damn thing to the deck and responds to Roxanne.]

Like hell I did! What's going on here? We get kidnapped for some stupid safety drill and now we're free to go? What the hell kind of logic is that?

[Roxanne might be griping but Rita's full-on ranting.]

And what's up with that--that--

[She finally struggles to a stop as she finds herself at a loss for any way to describe Friday.]

[kidnapcard]

[Frankly Roxanne can't really say anything to Rita's righteous fury. She'd probably spike her own life jacket if she didn't have the sneaking suspicion she might need it at some point. As it is she more carefully starts divesting of hers and with a faintly amused smirk replies:]

Faceless lady?

[Thats a pretty adequate description, right?]

[myagic]

[Rita grimaces. It's...accurate, sure, but she still doesn't like it.]

I mean...she has to have a face... But it didn't look like she was wearing a mask, and there were no holes she could see through...and the skin moved like a face...but that just can't be it, or she wouldn't be able to breathe...

[From ranting to rambling, the attempted justifications of a person who's abjectly terrified of the supernatural determined to uncover the mechanism of how it all works.]

[kidnapcard]

[Poor girl, running in circles trying to reason out the unreasonable. Roxanne listens with a sympathetic look for a moment before she finally reaches out and moves to gently lay a hand on Rita's shoulder. If the other woman pulls away Roxanne won't exactly chase her down, mind you.

Either way her tone is comfortingly warm.]

Hey now, don't run in a circle trying to figure this out. It's really strange and there's bound to be some sort of explanation but it's not something that needs to be figured out immediately.

[myagic]

[She pauses, a slightly-uncomfortable feeling rising in her that she can now recognize--embarrassment at being comforted by a total stranger. It at least gets her to stop spiralling down that rabbit hole (for now), and this stubborn teen crosses her arms, clears her throat, and tries to pretend that she wasn't about to lose her head.]

Well...you can't figure something out if you don't think about it! Aren't you taking all this a little too lightly?

[kidnapcard]

You can't figure it out if you think about it so much you burn yourself out either.

[Then again Roxanne shouldn't be lecturing someone for impulsively chasing after something given her own track record. Details!

Her brows rise a little at the question and then she laughs, the tone of it airy and more than a little sheepish.]

Let's just say I've been through a lot.

[myagic]

[She makes a little huff that means Roxanne's right, but Rita is a little too stubborn to verbally acknowledge it.

And she makes a dubious face.]

Enough that a mass mysterious kidnapping out to the middle of nowhere doesn't even faze you?

[kidnapcard]

[Pff. Roxanne can't help the slight grin.]

Do I look that calm? Good, I can still pull together a calm face then.

[Which is partially true, yes. Roxanne will just go off somewhere later alone, maybe once she can find a nice bath to sink into, and then have her very own personal quiet breakdown.

She's through taking off her life jacket and keeps hold of it as she talks.]

I've got some experience with the whole kidnapping thing. Not that it's ever great but you sort of get used to it. This is my first time being kidnapped by strangers though.

[And faceless ones at that.]

[myagic]

[Yet another person who just seems cool as a cucumber on the outside, huh? Although--that part is hardly as important as what she says next, and now Rita's dubious look turns downright incredulous.]

Are you telling me you're used to getting kidnapped? By people you do know? That's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard.

[kidnapcard]

You're telling me, I lived it!

[Roxanne blows out a breath and for the first time in this whole conversation actually looks a little exhausted.]

It went from every couple of months to at least once a week by the end. Before I knew it it was like "Ah is it that time already?" and I was planning my week around it like it was some kind of never ending errand.

[Then she shrugs a shoulder just a little.]

It's sort of water under the bridge now though.

[God she hopes it is anyhow. If he's a hero and still insists on kidnapping her she might just blow a gasket and give him that itemized bill she's been saving. He owes her a tremendous amount of lost shoes and ruined clothing.]

[myagic]

[If she didn't look so done with it all, Rita would write it all off as a terrible joke. As it is, she still isn't even sure she entirely believes it, but she's--for the moment--well and truly distracted from Friday.]

How does someone even get kidnapped that often? What are you, a fairy tale princess or something?

[The last bit isn't really serious, although Rita is friends with a very real princess.]

[kidnapcard]

Just your average damsel in distress.

[The way she says it it's clearly a joke. And straight after making it Roxanne dips right back into a more serious tone.]

The way I gather it now the guy kidnapping me all the time thought I was dating the hero of the town and it was a way to get his attention at first. I think towards the end though it was more of a flirting thing.

[Her expression flattens out some.]

Look, I know how stupid that sounds. It was a stupid situation too.

[myagic]

[Rita rubs her temples before summing it up as logically as she can-]

So you're surrounded by creepy weirdos who don't know how to take a hint. You ever thought of making better friends?