sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, so like counting days in a prison cell. That's so much more reassuring.]

Bah, don't worry about magic. It's the easiest thing in the world. Anyone could learn it. [Having eyes would certainly help though, but he wouldn't write her off without them.]

But you'll have to show me a few other tricks the passengers have taught you. Maybe over dinner...? [Does she even... eat without a mouth, or does she have teeth down there or something?]

It's always looked pretty hard... [it's demurring, bur it's more the kind you do when you're already half-convinced than it was before. she's still mentally weighing the consequences.

either way, she claps her hands at the invitation, nodding eagerly.] Of course! One of them taught me how to fold napkins into animals. I can almost do a swan!

I'll show you a few simple tricks you can do with a coin. Impress the other guests, eh? [He doesn't have a coin with him right now obviously, which is the perfect excuse to spend dinner with her, try and get some more information without overtly trying to get more information from her.]

Why don't you suggest one of the restaurants with napkins? I'd love to see these animals. [He can even animate animal napkins, although he's not sure if she'd be impressed with a simple, dumb trick.]

Speaking of dinner, I'd- probably need clothes... I think I locked meself out of the room. Although I'm happy to borrow some.

[briefest tea-kettle noise. she's fine.]

Do you... not have your phone? The ship app acts as a door key!

[He wasn't even trying to be her worst guest but that's just how the cookie is crumbling at the moment.]

Not to worry love, I'll figure it out. [He's rather bad with phones and it wasn't really on his mind when he stumbled out butt naked but he appreciates the tip. It just means she's bumped it up his list of priorities of things to figure out while he's on board.]

I'll be better dressed and better behaved for dinner, promise. [He flashes her a cheeky grin he thinks she's able to see, despite her... current facial situation.]

Hm... [she pauses for a second, tilting her head. she holds out her palm to him. sitting on it is a clunky little cell phone. don't ask questions.]

Be sure to keep track of it from now on! It's very important!

Hey, that's one of my magic tricks! [He beams at her before swiping his phone up in his hand. Is she sure she can't do any magic? Conjuring objects from other locations is fairly decent magical prowess to have.]

What would I do without you, eh? [He inches in a little closer in a bigger gesture to give her a hug, and assuming she doesn't violently try to take his head off, he would hug her. And try to palm something from her pocket while he's in close, if there happens to be something small that he's able to take quick enough without her noticing. Otherwise, don't mind his wandering hand just hovering close to her hip.]

[her pockets contain exactly eight black ink pens and sand. like, just some real clumpy sand.

so, yeah, free sand. because she is otherwise going to be completely frozen still and give absolutely no sense of awareness until the exact second he is no longer touching her.]

[Oh boy, he's always wanted... free sand. That's going to be difficult to nick without exposing himself if sand doesn't start trickling from between his fingers. He tries to take just a little bit out of her pocket in case there's anything special about the sand, hopefully not enough that she would notice, before he pulls back with a smile, eyebrows raised.]

Everything okay? [She froze up for a bit there. It was a little weird.]

Mhhm! [she does not seem aware that anything happened.] Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Constantine?

No I'm alright, cheers love. [He attempts to give her a light friendly touch on the arm. Hopefully she won't try to detach his hand from his wrist for it.]

So I'll be seeing you tonight then? Where and when? [He still has to find out what the 'cruise time' is and where all the wining and dining places are at, but he'll have figured it all out before their dinner date.]

And uh, you don't get hayfever, do you? [In case he wants to bring her some flowers.]

I don't get anything! [a brief touch seems to be acceptable.] Mikabo is a really nice place for dinner, I think! And the time doesn't matter; whenever you show up is when I'll be there!

Very good, I'll see you there tonight love. Thanks again. [For the trunks and the phone and the. Sand?

He's still not too sure what to make of Gal Friday but at least he thinks he'll have dinner to try and figure out what kind of person or not-person, as the case might be, she is.]

TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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