sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #1

1. now it's fun to wake up in a strange chateau

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.]

2. messing with my mind was fun at the time

[freshly lei'd, your legs are forced to lead out onto the deck and towards your muster station. the same woman is there, carrying a clipboard. this time, she introduces herself as Gal Friday, the cruise director, before immediately going into the muster drill spiel. it is very boring, and you are not allowed to move, except when you are required to show you know how to put your life vest on. you could try to not do this, but Friday will move to stand in front of you very closely and just. look in your direction until such a time that you decide to do it. and I'm sure your fellow passengers want you to just get on with it, too.

but, once it ends? she reiterates her desire to welcome you aboard. and, then, you're free.

well, free to move about the ship at your own leisure, of course. which is a kind of free, and probably the best one you can hope for. you could try to escape, maybe, if you have the means to; Friday certainly won't be one to stop you. that's what the barrier is for, after all.

but, wouldn't you much rather have fun?

the buffet is full. the pool is open. the casino jingles and chimes.

welcome aboard.]

3. lots of mystery in the history of the devils I knew

[you were never alone.

a few days have passed since you first arrived on the Serena Eterna. perhaps you've made yourself a little routine, and settled in a bit. or maybe you haven't done that at all. either way, you're here, and it looks like somebody is pretty pissed off about it.

it starts small. sometimes nearby plates skid off tables, or a pool chair upends while you're walking next to it. and sometimes that chair is aimed right at your head. objects are moving with quickly increasing frequency, and a wide variety of styles: some are dropped, or pushed, and others and others are tossed, but a few of the items are thrown, with great force and odd accuracy. if Friday is around during the lighter moments, she simply titters and cleans up whatever mess is made. if a pot of soup sails off the buffet line and nearly drenches you in boiling minestrone, she simply walks away.

and then there's the voices. hundreds, maybe thousands, calling out. not all are intelligible English, but you seem to understand them anyway. some sound scared, or angry. some are screams, others whispers. some sound entirely strange, while others are achingly familiar. and they're all saying the same exact thing:

Get Out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Very interesting. Giselle thinks she's glad she asked, though as a less human passenger herself, she admittedly would not enjoy having holes poked in her. Depending on where she was struck, that could be distressingly permanent. ]

A pleasure, John. Giselle.

[ Maybe she's skittish, but she does wonder at the choice of words. They may be synonyms, but "how may I address you" is not "what is your name." ]

A pity they ferried you here without your usual resources.

[Giselle. Not necessarily exotic but certainly different.]

That would make it too easy. [It's fine. He's managed to end up in a place where just about everyone he's encountered is easy on the eyes. Now if only they were easier in other ways too...]

I think I'll get by alright. Did you manage to bring a suitcase onboard? [He's not sure if he's the only stowaway who was beamed onto the ship unceremoniously without his underpants and everyone else are legal paying passengers or if they're all, well, in the same boat, so to speak.]

[ At "too easy," Giselle's lips twitch in dry amusement. ]

Yes, well. If you have the opportunity to stack the deck, I suppose only a fool passes it up. [ On a related note: ] I didn't have time to pack a bag before I found myself here, unfortunately.

[ Vampire drama. It's so inconvenient. One moment you're enjoying your evening out, the next you're running for your afterlife because somebody showed up at somebody else's club at an inopportune moment and delivered some inopportune words. ]

Wake up mysteriously some time ago and not quite sure 'ow you got here? [Just double checking that he's not the only one who's managed to drink himself under the table and found himself in this mess. Look he doesn't even care about the ghosts at this juncture. They're far less interesting than the mysterious bloke behind the curtains pulling all the strings.

They reach the bar and Constantine flags down their two whiskeys. He's enough of an arsehole to get her chair for her before plopping down into his own and slump-sprawling in it.]

What were you doing before you found yourself here?

[ Giselle slides into her own seat with the kind of grace that comes from being observed and found wanting for a very long time.

At this point, she's not terribly surprised to hear that they arrived in a similar manner--it'd almost be stranger if her new companion had intended to end up here. Certainly she wouldn't trust him. ]

Well, I didn't book a ticket, I can assure you. I don't agree with sailing. [ She picks up her glass and takes a sip. She can taste the bitter of the liquor, but feels none of the heat. ] Why, do you imagine we were doing the same thing?

No but I'd had so much to drink that me whole night was a bloody blackout, so I's just been talking to people 'ere and there, seeing what they were doing. Thought maybe someone might say something that'll help me remember what I was doing before coming aboard.

[He doesn't sound awful worried about losing a night to the bottle. He's probably lost plenty of nights to the bottle by this point and while on board he might lose one or two more, depending on how much longer they're going to take to get to their destination (presumably they are going somewhere?)]

What don't you like about sailing?

[ She nods. It's a sound enough strategy to her, not that she can remember what being blackout drunk is like. From what humans say, she thinks it might be a little bit like going into a blood frenzy, only with more hilarious potential consequences.

She lifts her glass for another sip. ]

Oh, my late husband had an awful story about boats he used to tell. Put me off them entirely. [ The punchline was and then I ate the whole crew. ] Something you said does make me wonder ... if maybe we were drawn here not in a similar manner, but for similar qualities?

I was too distracted looking at you to remember what I'd said. [Is that a bit much? Probably is for somebody talking about her ex-husband, depending on how long ago that was and how much of a bloody prick he was. It's not a lie regardless - John can't even remember what he said twenty seconds ago so she'll have to remind him.]

Well I did get me last boyfriend killed. [He's trying to be candid about it because, well, everyone he's ever gotten close to has died some kind of horrible death and if you're going to keep getting back up and be the last man standing, you can't do it without any levity.] But you're probably referring to something else.

[ Strangely--or perhaps not so strangely--while Giselle appears only tolerant of John's first remark, she actually brightens over the second. It's not very bright; it's more like relief or recognition than glee. But it's there.

Look, it's just so rare that people are open about being responsible for the deaths of their intimate partners. John is refreshing. ]

I was thinking about spirits, [ she admits, regarding him narrowly over the rim of her glass. ] But I meant communicating with them, not creating them.

Oh. [He happens to be alright at both, slightly better at the latter than the former sometimes.]

I was hoping this would be a proper cruise, y'know, and the only spirits I'd be talking to are Johnny Walker and Jim Beam. But I suppose we could do some work, try and figure out what's ruining the holiday. [It's a bit of a drag though. He doesn't see anyone else working, apart from Gal Friday maybe. And he's not sure she'd count.]

[ Giselle chuckles. ]

Don't let me put a damper on your fun. I'm used to working on my own in any case. [ She's not sure the spirits who speak to her would want to talk to a man. But then again, these spirits don't seem to want to talk to anyone. ] I'm just curious if all our fellow passengers share similar proclivities.

Well I can't let you face these off on my own. [And not because he's a gentleman about it but they seem pretty determined to get everyone on board killed and it wouldn't help him sleep any better at night if she'd gone and offed herself somehow.]

I don't think so, love. But we could ask around. Some of the fellas I spoke to live in complete denial. Would have laughed in your face if you started talking about ghosts.

That's gallant, [ Giselle approves, though not without a hint of irony. By his own admission, John seems to be more adept at getting his partners into danger than out of it. But she sees no need to twist the knife by pointing that out. Besides, she's really no better.

Her fingers drum the bartop as she contemplates. ]

So that's ruled out. [ She tsks. ] Well, I'm glad for the warning; I don't think I'd take well to being laughed at under those circumstances. I am interested in getting to know our fellow passengers, however.

[On the other hand, he's used to being laughed at so it likely wouldn't bother him that much.]

Haven't had much luck volunteering to do a show. [He figured that'd be the easiest and quickest way to get a lot of people in a room. At least they'd know him even if he doesn't know them, and it'd have been a fairly generic icebreaker when he takes his time working through the crowd, see what everyone else is like, what tinfoil hat theories they have about being here, what they've found out about the staff and whatnot.]

We could always commandeer one of these venues and throw a party, I suppose. [John is always up for a party.]

TEST DRIVE MEME #1

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