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TEST DRIVE MEME #3

1. you're the only one you owe (GUEST STARRING:
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[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passengers(s),
You'll be unable to leave your cabin until you read this note. Congratulations on making it past the first step. Keep reading if you wish, as I have information to share with you, as a fellow passenger stuck aboard this ship. Or don't continue reading, and burn the note. I'm not particularly invested either way, especially if you choose to throw away valuable warnings.
Watch out for the Captain.
Be cautious what you sign up for.
If you die, you'll come back to life eventually, though I would recommend you try not to die.
Your life is the Captain's plaything.
Do not think for one moment that someone isn't watching you.
With that aside, I am now contractually obligated to tell you the following: You will find a life jacket within your cabin's closet, and you are required to bring it with you to your assigned muster station on deck one. A companion and I will take you through the drill. If you cannot find us, look for a tall male with white hair and blue eyes and a friendly-looking man with unkept brown hair and a winning smile.
Respectfully,
Moon Master Ebalon
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see two people standing at the front of the crowd: an exhausted-looking man with white hair who seems rather displeased that he's been roped into this, and a man with a wide grin, bright green tips on his hair, and amber eyes. the latter is waving cheerfully, having an armful of leis. he quite happily puts them around people’s necks and while they’re distracted, attempts to dip them into a kiss.
as he’s basically a walking corpse, and smells like one to boot, it’s not exactly hitting the jackpot. but, he does at least listen to the word “NO”.
the tired-seeming man ignores this and announces over the drone of chattering passengers like yourself,]
Welcome to the Serena Eterna. Do try to enjoy your stay here; it is rather permanent in nature, huhu.
[and from next to his companion, the… er, overly-affectionate man who sounds as though he smokes ten packs a day rasps,]
You’re all doomed!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the duo complete the drill, you'll find that your legs suddenly obey your command, for what that's worth.
welcome aboard, passenger. we hope you enjoy your stay.]
2. one by one they'll do you in
[it starts, as most things do, with a table lamp. floating down a hallway, or the length of the promenade. ambling at a distinct clip: one-two-three-KICK, one-two-three-KICK.
and that's... not immediately concerning. after all, things float around here all the time; usually plates and drinks, but maybe the shades want to mix it up a bit. the lamp is alone for about a half hour before it is joined by others. a pillow. some knickknack from the ship store. Friday's clipboard. an empty vodka bottle. all have lined up, one in front of the other, and lead a procession snaking around the ship, growing with each passing hour. anyone familiar with the concept would begin to recognize it as a massive conga line.
there is a small chance you will want to join of your own free will. most likely, you will not want that. this does not matter: something compels you, like pins and needles in your feet, to join the dance. and once you have joined in... your body fights your mind on the subject, even as it grows more and more tired.
you pass by a familiar face. they could help pull you out. or you could pull them in.]
3. the price of vice foretold
[the scent of citrus and coconut rum hangs heavy in the air. there is a new storefront on the promenade, tucked between Sand Dollars and John's in a place where you are very certain there was not enough space to tuck a store before.
the clothes for sale are... a lot. like, a lot a lot. but, there are quite a lot of choices, though they do seem to repeat a little, once you've gone in far enough. in fact, even if you actively attempt to find it, you can't seem to find the back of the store. you can see a wall, sure, but it never seems to get any closer, even as you walk towards it.
be forewarned: the infinite tommy bahama does not have food or water.]
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... And maybe Steven deserves some nice things said to him right now, even if Marc's not the greatest at it.]
Yeah, well... See, I couldn't have been happy if I'd known you were back there. [He reaches up after a moment to rest a hand on Steven's shoulder, giving it a squeeze.]
And look, I promise-- we'll talk about that. And more. But not here. Let's blow this and go look around, alright?
[He drops his hand from Steven's shoulder and looks around.]
I think we've got a little more time, Steven.
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But-- they seem nice, Marc. [Steven didn't seem to notice all the red flags and he's never been on a cruise before so he doesn't know what to expect. But he got a welcome lei and there's a lifejacket and someone other than Khonshu will protect them if they somehow die again - that all seems good, doesn't it?]
Someone who's just doing their job will get in trouble if we don't go through the safety briefing. [Don't make another Steven Grant's life difficult, Marc. He's not expecting their borrowed time together to get cut short just because they need to go through the drill.] It shouldn't take long. Then I'll go anywhere you want.
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[There's an incredulous look. Marc isn't sure he'd call any of this nice. It's just a different sort of mindfuck to the asylum. Man, he never thought he'd miss that place, really, but...
A muscle in his jaw twitches before he nods.]
Fine. We do the briefing, then-- we'll figure out where to go from there. [He's not looking forward to seeing any more of this, but... whatever. Can't take too long. Hopefully.]
I just want to go for a walk, Steven... Get a feel for the place.
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[He drags Marc over to the briefing and, alright, it's a little boring, but Steven manages to compose himself and listen and nod at all the right intervals. When they're done he heaves a sigh and resumes holding his lifejacket against his lower body, turning to Marc with a tightlipped smile.]
It's like we're on a real vacation. One last... hurrah before we go to Shhhhhwherever we end up. [Awkward non-save. Look, he can't help it if his imaginary mother that Marc gave him raised a good Jewish boy.]
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What a headache.
Anyway, he might be thinking about doing it once or twice during the briefing that seems to go on forever too, but unfortunately, there's nothing sharp to get at his brain with.
At least it's eventually over.
Just in time for that terrible save and it gets a predictable glower from Marc.]
Yeah, well, just don't let your guard down yet, buddy. That letter-- you got one when you woke up here too, right?
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Well. I mean. It would make sense. We're already dead... [Steven shuffles forward a little quicker to stay closer to Marc. It's really huge inside the ship and there's quite a few people milling around. Funny, they don't all seem terribly thrilled to be on the cruise. But, you know. Maybe they all just died too and they're worried about the people they've left behind, what happens at the end of the journey, not saying goodbye and maybe they left the kettle on and their house is going to catch fire. Steven's worried about Not-Gus too. And the world they failed to save.]
...do you think crocodile lady killed all these people? [Steven frowns, and he seems a little too ashamed to meet anyone else's gaze. This is all his fault. He breathes in and out, trying to quieten the inner panic, the guilt.]
I'm sorry, Marc. I should have let you go into the tomb. If I'd just-- gotten rid of the ushabti-- I killed all these people... [Steven clutches onto his life jacket a little tighter. He killed a dreamliner full of people. Everyone's going to hate him when they find out. Well everyone hates him anyway, but Marc will be a pariah by association too. Maybe they shouldn't be seen out in public together.]
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than what they had with Khonshu.
He looks around as they walk, no real destination in mind. His feet just carry him on as his mind races, not sticking on any one thing in particular.]
... I don't know, Steven. [But one thing's for sure-- New Gus is probably going to be added to his list of things he's managed to get killed or harmed in some way. He feels-- kinda bad about it. But they don't have the luxury of breaking down over fish or Ammit judging every soul on earth just yet.
OR he doesn't. Steven seems well on his way.]
Look, don't get ahead of yourself. We don't know if these people were here before or just showed up. There's no telling--
[He stops himself, looking over at Steven as he slows his steps.]
I was the one who got us shot. So just stop it. You-- did good, alright? Who was it that found the ushabti in the first place? [And it wasn't Steven who picked the worst time to have to explain what happened to Layla's father, right?]
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God, Layla. If he sees her here he's going to be Upset.]
...okay. [He lurches forward a bit, tries to stick close to Marc, internalise all the unhappiness he feels about dying and letting the world down. It's not busy like the tube during peak hour but it's not just the two of them either. They need to be careful, in case there's any of Harrow's spies in here. The note did say they're being watched...]
Look. There's your den of iniquity... [Steven looks over at the bar. He's not particularly interested in drinking, but. He wouldn't mind some hot food, if they can find a place to sit and eat. He's not particularly hungry, but a hearty soup is how he finds comfort where Marc might prefer searching at the bottom of a whiskey bottle.]
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... And yeah, no. Hopefully Layla or anyone else doesn't show up for this fun adventure, but he knows Layla. She'll kill herself trying to stop Harrow, trying to stop Ammit. He wants better for her. Hell, he wanted better for Steven too.
He follows Steven's eyes over to the bar. Steven's not-- wrong about what Marc wants right now. He's not sure he should, all things considered, but...
Fuck it. It's not like they're going anywhere, right?]
Seriously? [Steven gets a skeptical look over first though.]
You don't want to go sit at a bar while I drink, do you?
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A French kiss?
A French kiss.]
I don't want to get lost in here. [He wants to go explore places with Marc, not on his own, and then not be able to find his way back to his cabin.]
Maybe they'll serve a clear vegetable soup? [Steven sounds a little hopeful, but then he tempers his expectations a little in case he sounds like he's expecting to be fed.] Or, I mean. I'll settle for some chips. Or a pack of nuts... [Bars have peanuts, don't they?]
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Maybe.
Much as he wants to lead the way over, he grits his teeth and hesitates for a moment. Steven sounds like-- he might be hungry. Marc isn't in the slightest, but it's hard to stamp out the instinct to at least try to protect Steven first.]
You want to go find food? We can do that, come back here.
[It doesn't cross his mind to split up, really. Steven is always just-- right there. And right now, he kind of wants him to stay that way. He nearly lost him once already, doesn't want a repeat.]
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Which happens to be the Windjammer. Steven tugs on Marc's arm when he steps in, eyes widening in amazement.]
Oh my days. Look at this place! [There's so much food. Of course he can't eat most of it but any place that serves a hundred options means he'll have ten options rather than a pitiful one page menu and forcing him to ask the chef to hold ingredients he doesn't eat.]
Can we sit by the window? You can pick something out first - you've got a hundred different choices here. [He doesn't necessarily want to watch the water and make himself seasick but he does want a quiet little corner where he can talk to Marc without using his outside voice.]
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... And boy, do they find food. Even Marc is staring in vague wonder at the buffet - though he has a feeling he's a little more skeptical about all this than Steven.]
Yeah-- cool. [What's the catch?]
Hm? [His gaze darts back to Steven at the question and he nods absently.] Sure, Steven. Wherever you want.
[He wants to tell Steven that he's not hungry, not really, and he should just go-- wild. But again, disapproving looks and all that.
He's not feeling especially adventurous though. Steven doesn't seem to be expecting him to stick to the vegan stuff either, so-- you know what, he'll just hunt out a burger and fries and call it good there. Something he can eat quick.]
All this food, they've got to have some vegan options, right? Let's go check it out.
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Helping himself to a plate, Steven loads it up with just enough food to cover the bottom of the plate without piling everything on. He can always come back for seconds if he's starving but he thinks he's sorted with what he's got.
He's... not going to comment on Marc's kid's meal. At least it didn't come with a toy. If they don't arrive at their final resting place tomorrow maybe he can encourage Marc to have an adult lunch then.]
This place is wonderful. Where do you think they're taking us? [Steven asks as he sets his food down on the table and starts unraveling his cutlery from the napkin bundle.] Every culture has their own idea of what life after death might look like. I don't think we're going to that 'Ancestral Plane' that Taweret was talking about.
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He shrugs his shoulders at the question.]
I don't know, Steven. Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? You, in the Duat, me in the Field of Reeds, and now suddenly... we're on our way to some place else. Any sort of Ancestral Plane doesn't sound all that great to me.
[He looks around them, just scanning the area thoughtfully.]
I don't think we'll find out where we're going anytime soon though. I have a feeling, we'll be on this cruise a while.
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So you did make it?! [An unfortunate victim goes flying in his excitement, a piece of lettuce hitting the table. Realising his exclamation might have been a bit loud, Steven shrinks back towards the windowpane, glancing around warily and then leans in closer to Marc, unable to keep that small, knowing smile like they're sharing a secret off his face as he whispers:] What was it like? Tell me everything!
[Three second rule. He picks the lettuce up off the table between thumb and finger and tilts his head back and to the side, popping it into his mouth.]
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Mm. [He takes a fry and pops it into his mouth before he looks out the window for a bit.] Just for a second, Steven. It looked-- pretty peaceful, not gonna lie. Not like something I'd experienced before.
[It looked pretty good, but--] I didn't want it if you weren't going to be there. That's not actual paradise. Besides, I don't think it had buffets.
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Every time he has fronted for Marc it has always been like this. Marc leaves him stranded in a scary place amidst a sea of strangers and he has to figure things out on his own. This particular scary place just happens to be rather marvelous.
What Marc says does have his eyebrows going up and his hand slowly putting down his fork though. And not the part about buffets.]
You came back for me. Marc I'm-- I'm not worth it. I'm not even real. [Steven glances around as though the real gestapo are waiting around the corner to catch him and take him away.]
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It makes all of this too-- weird. He's not good at talking about the real stuff, not even with himself. Or the closest to a friend he's got that happens to live in his head, whatever. He's already been stripped pretty bare. He already feels like an exposed, raw nerve after the asylum... why not keep going? What the hell. Steven's seen him at some of his worst points already.
He idly nudges his plate aside and shrugs his shoulders, eyes falling to the hand he leaves resting idly on the table just to avoid meeting Steven's eyes for a moment.]
You're real to me. [He doesn't care what anyone else thinks right now. Steven is too... vibrant to not be real.] And if it hadn't been for you, Steven, I'd never have survived it. Any of it. If I hadn't had you all the way since we were little kids--
[He stops himself, idly works his jaw as he forces his eyes from the table to meet Steven's.] I knew I wasn't alone as long as I had you. You were always full of hope... happy. Made me feel like I could get up every time I didn't think I had it in me. And you never once left me or abandoned me. You think I'd ever do that to you? Because I won't. I don't care about paradise if that's the cost.
[Which is still-- pretty selfish, probably, and not something to shove on a guy who's made it clear he wants his own life without Marc, huh?] Anyway, doesn't matter because look at you right now. You're outside of me. You're real, Steven... you can do whatever you want and without me getting in your way.
Even if it's frenching a guy who reeks, I guess.
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I'm glad I could be there for you Marc. [He wishes he could have done more for him. But that's all in the past now and why dig up all that pain? People are supposed to be at peace when they're dead.]
I'd rather be kissing you. If you keep that up I wouldn't be able to help myself. [He flashes Marc a teasing little smile.] You were never in my way. You saved my life in the gents. Let me live out a little slice of normal fantasy, for a little while. I couldn't see it then, but. You gave me everything I could have ever wanted.
[That doesn't mean that Steven is no longer upset that Marc lied to him, about mom. Made him feel like-- he keeps trying to defend her, in his head, try to make sense of it all, but she was terrible to Marc - to them. And Marc made him think Steven made him up. And all this while he made him think he had a sleeping disorder, kept up this façade - kept taping the door and pouring sand on the floor and everything. It's a lot of gaslighting to do to a nice, unintrusive little British man living in your head, Marc.]
I want to be there for you. And I want you to want this life - or, what's left of it anyway. I don't want you to throw away anything else you deserve for me. I want for you to not be afraid of happiness. Promise me, Marc - you'll stop running. You know I love you too much to keep-- watching you hurt yourself, like this. It's upsetting. [And he can't really help it. Marc made him full of love, and joy, and wonder - all the things Marc's denied himself, and not afraid to express any of it even though it makes Steven vulnerable, raw, prone to getting hurt. He can barely contain it all sometimes.]
And I'll promise you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just-- I'm here for you now. Can't be there for you, that's all.
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Steven's too nice for his own good. Too loyal.
He lets out a huff, lips curling up in surprise amusement. Looks like Steven's still the best at getting him to smile when he doesn't feel like it.
Even if a kiss ]
Yeah, well. No kissing until you scrub that mouth out, buddy. [He turns his head enough to grasp Steven's in return, giving it a careful squeeze]
Still failed at protecting you... but I'll try to do better here. [He can't promise he won't fail. He's just-- good at letting people down, at hurting them. But he can try.
His expression tightens a bit, brows furrowing. He wasn't expecting to hear it, maybe. With the way Steven's looked at him, with the things he's said -- none of them really wrong. He does ruin lives. He is a-- murderer. He wasn't expecting love. He's not sure he deserves it. Maybe he was hoping that Steven would realize that along the way.
And maybe he's glad that Steven hasn't. Selfishly.]
No, it's not like that. I'm not throwing anything away. I want to be with you. I don't... know what I'm going to do now. But I'll-- try, alright? I'm just not good at that part.
[He's not good at slowing down. But-- he's maybe not incapable of happiness. He had it with Layla. He's-- had it with Steven.
It's hard to feel worthy of it when he might have just fucked the world though. Maybe Steven will remember that's another reason to be disgusted with Marc.]
I mean, I guess this is a step up from the asylum, yeah?
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Nobody knows what they're doing. I don't think anyone expects you to have all the answers. You're too hard on yourself mate. I don't blame you for anything. [They're dead now - not that Steven is going to bring that up again. There's no zombies here. Nobody's tried to forcibly take their food or split them up or hurt them. Maybe they can just take things a lot easier for the rest of the way and not worry about everything anymore.]
This cruise ship seems nice, Marc. [No killing the captain and commandeering the boat!] Let's just take things one day at a time, okay? Get some food in and-- go to your bar and. We'll see if there's anything interesting scheduled for tonight? There seems to be lots of facilities. And none of them actively trying to kill us.
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But Steven's not wrong-- they're not finding all the answers today, or figuring out what the hell they're doing here.
... But killing the captain and commandeering the boat is an option, he doesn't care what Steven says.]
Don't jinx us, Steven. [He nods towards his plate.] Finish eating, then we're checking out that bar.
[He's not sure how he feels about these activities, but... maybe if Steven doesn't drag him off for anything ridiculous.]
Just don't suggest something like a couples' spa visit or I'm gonna think about throwing myself overboard.
[Well, maybe not really. Not if they've got a sauna or something.]
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Steven tries to hurry through his food, realising Marc is done with his happy meal and is waiting on him for drinks. He actually quite likes the idea of a spa day with Marc. What's wrong with a little bit of post-mortem pampering? But since Marc is so against the idea of relaxing and trying to enjoy himself, Steven might have to make a new friend who would be willing to accompany him.]
I'm almost done. [Steven drags Marc's plate back in front of him.] Finish your chips or go steal a butter knife to protect us with. You watching me eat makes me nervous.
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[Marc isn't surprised at all, actually. He just wishes Steven's sights weren't set on his wife. At least she isn't here for Steven to try his luck...]
Mm... [He rolls his eyes and grabs a fry. Fine. He'll pick at what's left.]
Makes you nervous... Happy now? [A butter knife will only annoy someone, Steven, come on.]
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