TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[midnightroads]

"Now look here, you blind whore of Babylon! You fornicated matron! You Medusa-curled daughter of titans!" He lets out a warm chuckle, stepping out from behind the counter. "About fourteen hours or so. And no, Jeff's not here--just me. Sorry, someone decided the hippie/goth meta was too powerful and nerfed our asses."

[crushed_pearls]

"...I'm sorry to hear it, but who knows? Maybe we'll see him again. Then again, maybe shit calms down first." Erin reaches across the counter to clap Bash on the shoulder. "I'm sorry man, I really am. But also, and this is key, what in the demidivine fuck are you doing to this coffee?"

[midnightroads]

"Fucking it up to mark my territory. Doing lewd things with an espresso grind to let the Serena Eterna know I'm home." Bash laughs. "Want a cup? It might make you hear shrimp colors."

[crushed_pearls]

"This a good time to tell you that instead of seeing the hat man when you get fucked up you might get our new god of madness instead?"

[midnightroads]

"God of madness, hm? Captain like taking more divine types here?" Bash moves to the espresso machine, setting a cup under a nozzle before looking over his shoulder at Erin. Right, she has a sweet tooth. Time to make something that's not just strong, but hummingbird food.

[crushed_pearls]

"I don't think so," Erin muses. "He's...an odd one. Think less Dionysus, more Death from Discworld. He's always there where madness is, but he's not always there. Dig?"

[midnightroads]

"Almost...elemental? Like he embodies what madness is? That sounds like it'd be a pain in the fucking ass to exist as. But if he's happy, that's what matters, right?"

[crushed_pearls]

"Yeah, just figured you could do with a warning. We're all mad here." Erin quirks a grin. "But it ain't all bad news. There's a giant cuddle pit now."

[midnightroads]

"Right, and what am I going to do in a giant cuddle pit without Jeff?"

He can't hold a straight face for more than five seconds, though. His face turns incredibly queer after that.

[crushed_pearls]

"Lounge on sufficient cushions to fit your whole body? That's what I've been doing."

Erin leans in, her face softening. "...Bash, you don't want him in this current crisis. You really don't. He can't mansplain, manipulate, manwhore this shit and Jeff ain't great at option four, manslaughter."

[midnightroads]

"Okay. Are those Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer in that order?" Fight me, mansplain is absolutely Autumn to a T. "But you know I'm not happy doing the manslaughter shit, either, Erin. I will, if I gotta. But it doesn't do me good."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin snorts a laugh at Bash's countermeme. "It's not so bad that we're out here doing human sacrifice, but things are wearing down, getting broke. Repairs are once a month, food too..." She shrugs her wings.

"...I still order that lavender coffee you made for me."

[midnightroads]

"Well. I can make you even better shit, if you'd like. If I heard right, it's PSL season." That's not what he places in front of her right now, though. This is, instead, smores-flavored mocha, heavy on the marshmallow.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin takes a sip and makes a Noise.

"Oh yeah, that's the good shit. Bash...level with me, where you at about being back here?"

[midnightroads]

"If I was any-fucking-one else, being able to point out that I'm here instead of in one of the bars would count as a point in my favor." There's only so much oomph to that complaint though.

[crushed_pearls]

"Buddy your sick driving skills won't let you dodge my love." Erin pointedly raises her eyebrows while she enjoys more sips.

[midnightroads]

"I'm kinda fucked up about it, and loving me won't make that go away, but it's also not your job to make me less fucked up about shit, either."

He pours himself a sludgy cup of the deepest black coffee.

[crushed_pearls]

"It's not, but we're still in this together." Sipppp. "Good news that's bad news for you specifically, you missed the pride party. It was honestly really good, Sharky put it on, lots of folks like, connecting or taking baby steps towards awareness. Things are rough, but...they're bending better."

[midnightroads]

"Mm. Okay, things I gotta ask...Crichton and Arthur: on again or off again? Friday gone off and killed anyone yet? It's October, any signs of possessions? The kids alright?"

Important this on the list.

[crushed_pearls]

"Off again, not to my knowledge, one unrelated possession that I'm not gonna talk about because that person's been through enough, and..." Erin shrugs, slumping. "It's been rough on everyone. The kids ain't alright."

[midnightroads]

"Okay." Bash takes all that in, making a mental note to text Crichton as soon as possible. "Any of the kids the ones I might be able to help at all?"

[crushed_pearls]

"...Mmm. Okie's still around, he could use a steady presence if you're looking for someone. Gwen's feeling real homesick, look for the lass with the watercolors and that's as good as I can describe that. You're not high, she does look like that." Erin chews her lip. "...Rita's kinda going through becoming less of an asshole, and like, either she's improving or under immense stress. Maybe you can figure out which."

[midnightroads]

"Do I count as a steady presence, so new back?" But he already is melting a little, because Okie.

[crushed_pearls]

"Come off it fucker, you know you do." Erin smacks the counter in Sudden Realization. "Hey - Ava and Peter got married, Mrs. and Mr. Starr now."

[midnightroads]

"Oh, good on them. I like them both. Though Ava might be weird about me being back here and pissing on my territory again. Metaphorically, that is. Strictly metaphorically."