TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"Don't worry, I've got my own supply of wild shit that I have to actively remember not everyone is intimately familiar with," Erin promises. "But! Yes! God I'm excited - wow I got off-topic for onboarding you here but it's - "

Okay Erin. Breathe. In. Out. Iiiiiin.

"- They're my girls, I wanna see 'em happy, y'know? And maybe more on topic if you're looking for a perspective on being here that I don't like, share myself? Cass is your lass. Very uh...focused on getting back home."

[abhorrently]

Good to know. She nods at the sentance, knowing she'll take whatever alliance she can get in the getting back department, and it'll help if the person involved can talk to her and understand the gravity of it if she has to explain her situation. But making new friends never hurt in a place to start with.

"Off topic or not, you've still been far more helpful than the faceless woman or the letter I found by my bed. They didn't offer much of anything."

[crushed_pearls]

"Yyyyeaahhhh...and look, I'm gonna level with you here. This place has been a strict upgrade on home for me. I don't particularly wanna go back. But if you're not violently allergic to nuance, there's some helpful people on my side of the aisle too."

Moment of truth here.

baldur's gate 3 spoilers.

[abhorrently]

One of these sort of things again. She didn't want to choose sides, she just wanted a solution. The smile fades some into a neutral expression, carefully considering her words. How best to express it to someone who might have no idea?

Frankness and honesty it is. The woman seems direct enough. The worst Erin can do is laugh at her or something.

"...And I'd be fine to meet them too. Look, I don't have any quarrel if you'd like to stay here, and I don't doubt that there's enough who have their lives improved by getting elected, who deserve every chance to stay here. But my companions and I are trying to stop a cult from laying waste to the entire Coast with a giant brain. You can see how that would skew my reasoning."

And for the briefest flash of a second, she wishes the tadpole was alive, that she might try to reach out to them, to say I'm okay.

"I can't just accept that I can do nothing and leave it all for them to handle."

[crushed_pearls]

"...That may be the wildest weapon of mass destruction I've ever heard of, but I believe you." Erin lets out a breath she didn't know that she was holding. Good. Over the first hurdle. "Around the joint you'll meet a skeleton that tells puns - that's Skulduggery, probably the best source of information about the ship, and dedicated wholly to giving everyone a choice about staying or going. He's mostly out and about at night." She picks up cheese without looking at it, mostly to nibble on, and ends up chewing on flaky asiago. "My girl Crabb, about yea high, black, very handsome, she's had encounters with some of the underlying workings, and if you're gentle she might tell you about them. Johnny Summer, dapper gent with odd eyes, haunts the bars and can get you the who's who, and lastly you might get some productive magical collaboration out of Jade Curtiss and Maxwell Carter. Jade's got red hair, glasses, and is eternally not mad, just disappointed. Maxwell's roundabouts my height, real polite, look for the odd scent of darkness and the nice suit. Should get you started."

[abhorrently]

The acceptance does a lot, and it reassures Fever they're on an even level. She's the stranger here, but the worry about her world is always going to dominate over people she doesn't know, if they can't let her go easily. She'll fight whatever this god is fleeing from if that's the cost of going back to stop things, to not desert those who swore to the cause. It's straightforward, but she won't deny them a chance to be heard out.

Nodding with every name, she makes more notes on who to meet, who to talk to. And she'll have to think about how to approach them - Erin said you have thoughts about our situation might work. After a suitable introduction.

"That's a sizable number of names. Thank you for all of it, the information on our predicament included."

[crushed_pearls]

"I could actually keep going but honestly, Johnny will see you right as far as that goes. Now, some warnings." Erin raises a finger. "Number one, there are monsters in the clothing store. One of them is a cougar - that's my friend Siffleur. He usually doesn't attack people without their consent but if you do find yourself unexpectedly hunted, don't fuck about. Hit him hard, hit him fast, he won't hold it against you. The others are the Bahamanals, and they're not to be fucked with. We haven't found a weapon yet that can kill the bastards, and worse, they cloak themselves as piles of clothing. Don't stand and fight, don't try to be clever, fucking run. Take it from my personal experience, they don't dispense fun ways to die."

[abhorrently]

There's a powerful longing in her to ask what weapons they've tried against these unkillable beasts, but that's gently brushed away under the guise of picking up a second cheese. Mimolette, the label says, and it smells safe enough.

The fact that she wants to see just what happens with the cougar is just her own inclinations, though.

"The clothing store is a haunt for monsters, so be smart about entry. Got it."

[crushed_pearls]

Well, the taste of that Glamour is concerning. A fighter? A daredevil?

"The last warnings are related to each other. Don't lose the charm that Gal Friday gave you, and don't break any sigils or circles you find. We all nearly died the last time, and I kinda like living. The dating scene in eternal oblivion fucking blows.'

[abhorrently]

There's a little chuckle at that.

"What does the charm do? I still have it, but I can't figure out the magic on it."

Breaking any sigils...well she'll try to keep them safe. As long as no stray hands come from them.

[crushed_pearls]

"It...helps protect you in the case of an imminent collapse of the local reality. You don't need to wear it all the time, but if you're ever feeling like, I dunno, the fabric of existence is acting kind of suspicious, it can't hurt." Erin shrugs; what can you do? "...Friday does what she can to see to our good. 'What she can' is doing a lot of lifting in that sentence."

[abhorrently]

"Because of the local god?"

Whenever Erin's done humoring questions, or needs to fire them back, Fever's ready, but until then, she'll keep pushing her luck.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin sighs. "That's the fucking thing, I'm not sure. I don't know if anyone is sure. Maybe you might have some luck." Deep breath, and then a welcoming smile. "So, Fever, lass - what do you do for fun? Might have some suggestions there too."

[abhorrently]

"Anything anyone else does, really. I like celebrations, I like travelling for the sights, I like putting the wicked in their place. So, you know. I'm open to suggestions."

That last one is said so flippantly it could be a joke. Maybe. But confessing that part of fun involves fighting, especially with magic? Well.

[crushed_pearls]

"...You know what, you've seemed straightfoward so far, I'm just gonna ask so I can be completely clear - when you say putting the wicked in their place, is that a sex thing, a violence thing, or both?"

[abhorrently]

"...I really meant violence, but if someone was up for it, it could be a sex thing. Just haven't had the chance to try that particular sex thing as far as I remember."

Contemplating kinks in the cheese shop. What a life.

"No wait, there was that one time with the mace..."

[crushed_pearls]

"...Like the bludgeoning weapon about yea long meant to pulp people through their armor??"

[abhorrently]

"Not exactly. If it was at risk of being fatal, it wouldn't have worked out."

...

"Does it help if I explain that it was all linked to a goddess?"

[crushed_pearls]

"No??" Erin takes a deep breath, steepling her fingers in front of her face. Fever. Fever lass. Are you okay? You doing okay? Do you have a permanent spine injury? "Okay. Um. Alright. If that's how hard you like it definitely talk to Siffleur but mother fuck, wow."

[abhorrently]

"It wasn't for my sake! It was for this other guy, and there was this ritual, and I was trying to blend in at the time, and it's all awkward to explain unless you were there or you have a good knowledge of this particular goddess."

Ugh, this just sounds worse the more she talks about it.

"Anyway, I don't think it counts if it was only for someone else."

[crushed_pearls]

"Listen, I'm not here to judge, I'm here to say that if getting erotically maimed does it for you, Siffleur is the guy to talk to." That cat had better be grateful. "But as to the smiting the wicked part, maybe wait. Or at least ask them if they wanna get smote. Things are...different, here."

[abhorrently]

"It's not like I'd know the wicked just by looking at them, anyway."

But all jests aside, she does calm, looking at Erin. There's a doorway behind what she just said, and Fever's willing to listen.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's voice and face soft, gentle and tinged with both wonder and pain. "I'm gonna tell you something, and ask you to try and envision that it applies to everyone here. Everyone who ever hurt you is far away. As long as you're here, you'll never go hungry, or poor, or cold. You'll never be homeless, you won't be press-ganged into someone's army or government. Every. Single. Bad circumstance of the world you come from is gone."

"...What might that realization do to someone who turned to evil to make it all stop?"

[abhorrently]

There's a long silence there as she mulls it over. Wonders what the words might sound like in the ears of those she knows, those running from what would chain them and those who are striving towards something better occurring in the world. For a second, there's a bright and shining hope, a wish to gather all of them near, to say there's something to this. It doesn't solve their problems, but it offers them respite. Even if one day they have to return, take on those burdens - there's a rest, as deep and easy as the midnight sky. Even the parasites can't reach them. They won't lose themselves.

They won't lose themselves.

It is fog curling at her ankles, soaked in red, it is damp and sticky shadows painted in more blood, it is the choked back desire to rip off the head of the faceless woman, to give her a face with a dagger and see if she can scream without a mouth. It is rot set into the membrane of her skull, dripping through her veins like any drug. Kill your way out. Slaughter them until they release you, or you seize the key from their corpse's grasp. Snap their bones under your heel as you walk over the bodies. Build a portal from their nerves and sinew, and go back, because you are not done. You have already lost yourself. But to reclaim-

The thoughts are shoved away as one might heave off an enemy attack, to dissolve into their mist and shadows, to leave her be. On the outside, she's merely pulled back, looking somewhat sorrowful, but she forces herself to take a breath, to smile a little.

"Absent of any reason to be evil, why would you keep going? It wouldn't make sense."

[crushed_pearls]

Erin's ears droop; the taste of pain in the air, knotted and whispered. She knows that feeling, even if not its cause. Someone hurt this woman very badly, and Erin's heart wrings in her chest.

"...Yeah. And then it's just...learning how to be a person among people again. We fuck it up, give in to old bad habits, but...well, one of the other neat prizes of being here is that opportunity. The chance to shuck the old life like a husk, and see what we might make of ourselves in its absence."