sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #10

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He didn't state an opinion, but Arthur just smiles quietly.

"You owe no explanation to me ol' chap!" Arthur busies himself with looking for coffee, and more importantly, the source of the blood and the rest. There are infinite potatoes in this kitchen. And are those American hot dogs? Bizarre. "But maybe one to Max. Try writing him a letter. If the humans and others," because this ship has all sorts of fantastical creatures on board! "Are getting in your way specifically, they can't stop a letter."

Okay, now his inner asshole is showing. "Of course if you're illiterate, you might need to send a courier instead." He knows the vampire isn't illiterate. Not that he'd care terribly if he was, Jean d'Arc is, but the only reason Arthur isn't helping him is because the Frenchman wouldn't want Arthur's help. But usually vampires can't get away with anything less than the highest aristocratic values. Comte's 'children' were an exception, hardly the rule. "Terribly romantic." His outer asshole is showing an obscene level now. "Like Cyrano de Bergerac." Wait. 1897, what year is it again? He reflexively goes to check his dates mentally before remembering, he's not in Paris, this is fine. "A trusted courier conveying well wishes of ownership," it's a wonder that the missing sarcasm is so loud in its unvoiced subtext, "Just make sure they aren't prettier or it will end up so very Twelfth Night." Ew. Stupid Elizabethan rotter, he shouldn't have mentioned him. Forget Shakespeare.

"A letter." Erik looks this other vampire in the eyes with the most deadpan expression. "Yes of course I am literate. And how would I have it delivered, hm? Shall I pin it to a bulletin board and hope he wanders past it? What courier is going to take a request when there is no address that I can list? If all you can think to say are insults to me, then you are a waste of my time. I'm in no mood for games."

"I'd deliver it," he replies quickly enough, "But I very much doubt you want another vampire near your boo." Yes, boo.

"You don't need a location as long as you have his name. We're on a ship, it's not like a city, more like a single building with multiple common areas. A castle. Prey on their weak human sensibilities and idea of justice, surely one of them is easy enough to dupe."

"At last, you've said something intelligent." No, he very much does not want any other vampire near his pet.

"What exactly is your opinion of humans? At one moment you seem to be defensive of them and the next you are calling them weak. Which is it? For that matter, Why do you care to involve yourself at all?"

What a question! He's surprised, which is why he answers honestly! He normally wouldn't, but Will wouldn't have had to ask, so he's thrown.

"Them being weak is why I'm defensive. I'm barely a knight still, but I was officially knighted." Much like being a doctor. And as Theo often pointed out, Arthur refused to acknowledge it except when it suited him. "Respect women. Defend those too weak to defend themselves," if that seems at odds with prey on them, it isn't. He preys on woman because of his respect for them, after all. In his case, his bite isn't even used for drinking, since they have to keep their existence secret, just foreplay. "Be generous, loyal to your lord, friends, and country. Don't worry about me, old chap! Just worry how to take care of yourself."

"How nice for you." He rolls his eyes. Knighted. Really? He should care about that, why?

"If these are your stated morals then you should want to help me find my human servant. He is in my care and keeping precisely because he is in need of my protection. He is targeted by other vampires and it is my possession of him that keeps him safe and alive."

"Aren't you mistaking me for a human, now?"

He doesn't care, doesn't care, doesn't care about men...

Okay, but what if this human is the source of the rouge in the buffet?

But then how would he be in the kitchens long enough to wear a suspicious apron that definitely looks like it's asking for blowjobs?

Hm.

"How many other vampires are on the ship?"

You're not my Daddy - the utterly stupidest part of Arthur's brain ~~that isn't permanently stuck on women~~ wants to argue. He means Lord, but then he gets stuck up on that detail too, because calling Comte his Lord, while true in theory, leaves somehow a worse taste than calling his vampire sire Daddy. Arthur is a mess.

He can't just deliver a letter either, but Arthur gets the distinct feeling that he's just playing Vincent to Will's deranged schemes rather than helping Comte find Sebastian. Then again, Sebastian was usually more like Comte's big brother than anything close to needing protection.

"All right bloodhound, show me the way." He's going to hate this. Exposing himself as a vampire is seriously not on his desired to-do list, and it's really nothing to do with him on why others are keeping them apart, and for all he knows it's better that way. But he hasn't exactly found any other clues, and can't exactly go around asking humans where the blood is coming from, now can he?

"You know I am not. But you did not know me by name when you met me so unless I'm very much mistaken, you are not one of my enemies. That could change at any moment, of course." Not a subtle threat but he does want to get his point across as clearly as possible.

"I do not know how many other vampires, or people for that matter. I've only just arrived myself. But if you call me that again, there will be one less vampire aboard this vessel."

Arthur is only a mature grown adult in absolute theory, but without Daddy le Comte around to protect, resurrect, or help him, that is a real threat. Still, he's a cheeky writer with an impeccable vocabulary so, "Right-o slewfoot! Lead on gov'nar! Let's not keep yon wayward houseboy waiting, shall we?"

There are more days than NOT where Comte regrets bringing Arthur back, truly.

Erik crosses his arms in front of him and glares. "No. I think I've had enough of your companionship. I'll find Max on my own. Perhaps, if you mind your manners later, I will introduce you."

"No thanks, I'm not that interested in guys." Fun to drink with sometimes, but not his choice to go this far out of his way to meet one. Even if they were human. Even if they weren't. There was a reason Le Comte didn't take Arthur to the fancy pureblood balls.

"But good luck! Hope I don't run into him accidentally!" While looking for the rouge source. Or because it would mean Max was in need of a doctor.

"I don't know what you think I was inviting you to do. But, suit yourself. Just know there will be severe consequences if any harm comes to him by your hand."

That said, Erik flounces out of the kitchen, taking the apron with him.

TEST DRIVE MEME #10

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