TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[guildmastermind]

"I met the moon-headed guy, we talked about combat strategy while fighting in a party. I'm pretty sure he'd be an Enchanter if he was in Elder Tale." There's warm laughter in his voice. "We're going to see if we can coordinate together; he said his partner would make a decent offensive tank, and I'm used to working with a Guardian or a Samurai."

[crushed_pearls]

"...I think I'm grasping what you're laying down and if I am, he's right, assuming Gil's willing to play ball, but this is when I'm gonna need to vastly disappoint you for a minute." Deep breath.

Nope, deep breath isn't enough, Erin also takes a long series of puffs on her cigar.

"...So the last videogames I have clear memories of are on the Super NES."

[guildmastermind]

[guildmastermind]

[guildmastermind]

"You've been letting me ramble on like a nerd this whole time without asking for an explanation?"

[crushed_pearls]

"I'm good at context clues!" Erin protests. "This is the first time I've absolutely hit a wall of jargon where a lack of clarity might cause like, interpersonal issues!"

[guildmastermind]

"Okay. How in-depth an explanation do you want to have here? And...do you have any basis in fantasy TTRPGs? The class systems are comparable, because we're falling back on the same sorts of tropes."

Local blind woman immune to the fourth wall

[crushed_pearls]

"Uh...I'm gonna say none," Erin admits after a Long Moment. "I've been exposed to Magic: the Gathering sorta? I'd lost my eyes by then so mostly what I could pick up by. You know. Listening to the trash talk."

"...Dare I hope that Castlevania has decent references?"

[guildmastermind]

"Lord of the Rings? You've got elf ears, you have to at least have some familiarity with the Fellowship, right?"

Is that racist? It feels like it might potentially be racist.

[crushed_pearls]

"You are so fucking lucky that I love Lord of the Rings. But also we've got at least one half-elf on board and people from worlds that actually have elves and orcs so tread lightly with your references there." Erin leans in now though, all interest, ears twitching. "I'm listening."

[guildmastermind]

"So, Gandalf is what you have in mind when you think wizard, but that's not me. My magic is focused on buffing my allies and debuffing my enemies. Gandalf would probably have been a Sorceror in Elder Tale. A tank is someone like Gimli. Frontline fighter, good armor, there to get hit and make it sure others in the party don't get hit. Then you've got strikers, out there with a sword. Assassins, Swashbucklers, some Bards or Samurai. Legolas is a ranged fighter; someone like me can pump up his accuracy and damage, right? And the Fellowship didn't really have a dedicated healer, though Samwise would probably have been a Cleric."

He's trying, he really is.

[crushed_pearls]

"...This is kinda tracking to the way my people handle combat squads," Erin muses. "You got your heavies and grunts out in front, boys in the back with the goblin fruit or sorceries to patch 'em up, hunters and killers out on the flanks, and the witches somewhere in the center animating the trees to beat people's asses in or calling down tame wildfires or summoning storms and shit."

[guildmastermind]

"I love Summoners. My backup account was one--necromancer build, vampiric subclass. Female character model, just to see what playing as one would be like. I summoned bats and the ghost of one of the Six Scrapped Princesses. But yeah, you sound like you've got the concept now. Of course, some classes have builds that can fill different roles. Druids can, for example, be healers or damage-dealers, depending on the rest of the party."

[crushed_pearls]

"Yeah. And like, things aren't necessarily neat and clean. You could call me a witch if the ship hadn't taken a bunch of my shit but like, that's a title of education and experience?" Erin waggles the hand with a cigar. "That is to say, I can do the storm summoning thing...and also punch a moving semi truck and win. Except here, no storms."

[guildmastermind]

"No storms? Huh. Has there been a reason given behind that, or is it just the state of the world?"

He pauses to pour a little more wine. This conversation's good in that he's getting a lot of information. But it is a lot.

[crushed_pearls]

Erin waves her glass vaguely. "This place isn't big on moving parts. Food doesn't rot, none of the machines have insides, the wine restocks itself from nowhere. A result without a process, y'know? I've dealt with effects with uh...uneven relationships with cause before, but if you want to know the mechanisms that's all Ms. Friday and last I heard she's not big on straight answers about it. I - well, actually." Erin taps out what's left of her cigar and leans back. "Something called the Erda is involved. It seems to have a relationship with communal desire, and it brings, well, you, but also the passengers and the packages we get. These cigars, for instance."

[guildmastermind]

“So it’s all really shitty programming, is what you’re saying. Noclip hard enough and you see how hollow it all really is.” Which makes it the opposite of his past experience in some ways. But still, he can figure out how to handle anything. That’s his job, to follow the chain of effects and brace for what others haven’t foreseen.

[crushed_pearls]

With extremely pained chagrin: "I only know 'noclip' from people describing walking through doors like they aren't there that way."

She feels.

SO.

FUCKING

OLD RIGHT NOW

[guildmastermind]

Shiroe snickers. "I'm sorry, I think in the jargon of games. You can always stop me and remind me to use plain speech."

[crushed_pearls]

"I'll keep it in mind, but all other things being equal I'd rather learn. People put up with my quirks." Wine will help. Erin takes a nice sip of hers. "Which, speaking of, anything I should dodge? I host social events sometimes so like, if you've got a diet requirement or an allergy or, I dunno, the body you're in can't be in the presence of Mountain Dew or something...?"

[guildmastermind]

"Nothing like that, no. Though I'm not really big on social events? I'm a shut-in gamer type, we're not the best at making friends, you know." There's a degree of self-mockery of the protective sort. Like if he makes the joke first, maybe it won't hurt when others say the same things about him, behind or before his back.

[crushed_pearls]

"Ship's only so big buddy, you can't dodge them all." Erin makes a little hum. "Related story, my roommate Helena runs a braille class once a week. You should say hi. We've got a few blind folks, might get more, but it's also a decently neutral venue to meet her. My little bird is a treasure, and you share a community spirit."

[guildmastermind]

"I have a tough enough time with English, you want me to layer a whole second writing system on top of it?" The complaint isn't all that serious though. He's noting the name already. "And why is a neutral venue for meeting her important?"

[crushed_pearls]

"Helena's..." Erin shrugs her wings. "It'll be better for her than getting cornered accidentally in a more private setting."

[guildmastermind]

"...from all you've seen of me so far, does that sound like something I'd do to anyone, let alone a blind woman?"

Like, he doesn't think he gives off creepy guy at a game store vibes, but he has to check.