TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[crushed_pearls]

"You gonna introduce yourself by name at some point or is your world before the invention of manners and/or names?" Erin calls back. She has, you see, realized she's getting near the ski-ball, and she is determined to make this worse. She pops a wheelie, hits the low steel floor on one o' them Jurrasic Park motorcycle games, and sails through the air to land on the ski-ball.

Listen. The bumping in her tires is somehow making the bones she doesn't currently have feel better, leave her alone.

[blindwatchersees]

"I did! Only you weren't there to hear it! Wait. Scratch that. I don't think I did. Well, when we have a moment-" He pounces onto the ski-ball machine after her.

[crushed_pearls]

(Peters.)

Busy!

(Peeeteerrrs~)

In the middle of something here.

(PETERS DO A FLIP!)

You're a fucking genius!

Erin swerves to aim right at the target of one of the ski-ball machines and uses the concentric rings of it to launch herself into the air, where she goes into a cackling backflip.

[bubblegumheart]

"If he wasn't so cute, it might be easier to believe he's up to no good." Isn't that always the way, though? And maybe there's no way of actually knowing whether or not the crab is aware of what he's doing, but Chrissy is inclined to believe he's an innocent in all of this.

"I'm not sure... And I'd love to be able to tell you that crabs with knives aren't really a thing around here, but this place is pretty weird. Maybe this is just a thing for now." That's probably not the sort of thing Gwen is hoping to hear here, but it's all Chrissy's got at the moment. "Do you think we could catch him and take away the knife?"

[businessorlibation]

"Mm, you can serve yourself, yeah. However, if you see me behind the counter at the cocktail bar down the way, let me get the drinks for you, instead. Bartending is how I keep a sense of normalcy for myself."

His smile is polite and perfect.

[blindwatchersees]

With a crazed yowl, the Skooma Cat makes a desperate charge for the toy car, only to miss by a hair, ramming the front half of his body down the middle hole of the ski-ball machine. He growls in frustration, tail lashing, before he does a little butt wiggle and seems to melt through the hole. The ski-ball machine then proceeds to make several pinging noises that sound much more like a pinball machine (and indeed, Erin can hear something knocking around inside of it). After a minute or so, a ball of yarn rolls out of the ball return and hops out onto the floor. It then rolls back along the entire route Sheogorath took chasing Erin around the Playback, leaving a yarn trail in its wake, until at last it finishes unraveling on that same motorcycle simulator he started from. The yarn then starts winding itself back up, rolling into a ball starting at the ski-ball machine and rolling towards its other end. When at last he has finished collecting himself, the Skooma Cat reappears, licking his paw.

"Well, I'd say you've bested me, mortal. Time for tea, then?"

[professionalriot]

"Is that what you did before or just what you decided to do here?" Ashley wasn't sure what he would do. His work, his gifts, none of that would translate well to an already built ship with no way to advance the technology. He can kill things, sure, but what is he going to do with that here?

[crushed_pearls]

It's going to be a minute before Erin can answer. Partway through the pinball noises she resumes her normal form, dying of laughter, and she's still doubled over on the ski-ball machine by the time the cat is talking again. Full-throating, gut-clenching laughter. She keeps wiping at her blindfold to get rid of tears that aren't there, that's how hard she's laughing.

USS Laffey (DD-459) | Azur Lane

[killer_bunny]

[I - The Bunny Thirsts]

Laffey is a seemingly simple creature. One with taste, and goals. The first, and perhaps most important, of which being… she needs a drink.

She sits in front of the bar, face expressionless. Her eyes half lidded as she looks over the selection. Does she really care about what she gets so long as it wets her palate? Maybe, she points towards one of the bottles of whiskey on display behind the barkeep.

“That one….”

Her voice sounds… tired? Or really just lacking in enthusiasm as the bartender complies, moving to pour her a shot. To which, the bunny girl shakes her head. “Leave the bottle….”

She needs it~!

[II – The Bunny Dreams Below the Sea]

It took a bit of doing, and Laffey herself felt a little irked at that. But she eventually found a passable spot to lie down. Her small form curling up on the ship’s deck. A lounge chair under her as she snoozes softly. Two wine bottles sat next to her. One fully drained, the second close to it.

There is a problem in bunny paradise, however!

“…Pillow….”

Muttered bleary in a sleepy haze. Her missing equipment. A pillow!

A vital component to her Sacred Nap Time. If anyone with an impressive chest happens to bother her, then they may find a girl with rabbit ears cuddling into them.

Approach with extreme caution.

[III – The Bunny Gets a Treat]

“….”

Insert Laffey repeatedly smacking her hand down on the button. Her face remains neutral, her eyes half lidded as she stuffs chocolate piece, after chocolate piece into her jacket pocket.

She doesn’t look particularly enthused. But maybe she is? With how much energy she’s putting into abusing the thing.

[WILDCARD]

[ooc: hit me up with whatever!]

[thismaskismybadge]

"Home's pretty weird, too. Maybe I won't have too hard a time adjusting after all."

Gwen could absolutely catch him with no issue at all if she had her webshooters on, but she doesn't, and that would be a very stupid way to a) give herself away and b) waste web-fluid when she has a limited supply.

But— "—it can't be that hard to catch him. He is just a crab. Maybe one of us can grab him from behind while he's distracted?"

[saltwaterlungs]

Clean slate. No expectations. As if Undine had just showed up at the ship fresh. Darcy opens his mouth to say something else before a realisation hits her-

"Oh shit that's right- Ava and Peter are getting married."

[bubblegumheart]

"How weird is pretty weird?" Weird is probably subjective. What one person finds weird might seem completely normal and mundane to someone else, so it feels like a reasonable question.

She's glancing down at the crab now, studying him carefully even as he seems to be gearing up for another go at Gwen's ankle.

"I feel like if the two of us working together isn't enough to disarm him, he probably deserves to get our ankles! That sounds like a solid plan."

[yournewsidekick]

"Pretty high," says the crab.

She grins. It's a bit nightmarish, considering crabs don't exactly have the right mouthparts for a good grin.

"Wanna see?"

[yournewsidekick]

Exasperation's one of the milder reactions someone's had to her presence! It hardly registers. Besides, the second statement's way more interesting!

"Protection from what?"

Her eyes have narrowed, just the slightest bit, as she lets the lei fall back against her chest.

[yournewsidekick]

"Maybe not the first," she concedes, before rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "Probably under the bed. Or on the ceiling -- you know how few people look up when they walk into a room? Perfect place to stash all the stuff you don't want 'em to see. Ooh, or -- "

She leans in, grinning just a bit too wide.

"You ever hear the story about the hotel room with a weird smell?"

[yournewsidekick]

She props her elbows on the railing behind her, relaxing back into the conversation. "Well, yeah, they gotta be polite," she says. "Can't elbow somebody out of the way if you've got no elbows."

She wiggles her fingers.

"Unless you are the elbow. That guy can go wherever he wants."

[upshore]

Miles' lips become a thin line, and one of his finger-stumps twitches. "No doctors. Bactine and bandages will be fine."

No, they won't. You can't slap an Ace bandage onto your mutilated appendage and call it fine, no matter how much Neosporin you use.

"Should I meet you back here?"

i am so sorry for his reaction, he's had a difficult few hours

[upshore]

The quiet footfalls combined with the shadow that falls over him activate his fight-or-flight reflex. Walker hadn't been quiet, Walker had the jingle of useless chains to alert Miles to his whereabouts, but Walker had been juiced, hadn't he, who else is sneaking up on him? The crab forgotten, Miles ducks and rolls to the side, hiding behind a nearby table, his heart pounding loudly in his ears. Not like it'll do all that much to hide him, but, whatever. Buys him a few more seconds before his head gets ripped off his pretty little neck, anyway.

[hate_gettin_older]

He laughs. "So long as he don't hit anything too hard when he's not looking."

You know, because of the funnybone, right?

[thismaskismybadge]

"Weird like— 'last month a guy psychically linked with an octopus got into a fight with our local superhero downtown'. That weird."

She has fought just... so many weird people...

Gwen sidesteps away from Ody just enough to not risk immediately getting stabbed, but no further, "Okay, since he's going for me, I'll play distraction. You see if you can grab him."

[businessorlibation]

"I owned two bars, in the same building. In the basement, the Blue Horseshoe. Working class pub, the kind of place laborers and servants come to gossip when they're off work. And on the top floor, the Margravine Club. Exclusive, ritzy champagne lounge. In between, I rent apartments and office space."

A very capable businessman, it would seem.

[treadwater]

"If you can hop up onto my shoulder, I'll give you a tour of the ship from there."

That's a challenge and a dare and she's hoping it doesn't end with her being stabbed by an inaccurate leap.

[blindwatchersees]

He sits there, purring, admiring his handiwork. Sometimes, it's worth all the misery of being the Madgod, just for these moments.

[treadwater]

Undine nods, looking over the buffet. As her eyes run down the tables, there's a bit of a concerned expression that grows on her face--before vanishing completely as she puts on a smile and helps herself to some fruit and bacon and yes, pancakes.

[treadwater]

"Symbiote. Okay, then what do you want? You can't just keep creeping after me, that's really not cool."

She leans in over it as she speaks, hands on her hips like a disappointed parent. Not mad, just disappointed.