TEST DRIVE MEME #10

[sailmods]

a. that's where we both belong

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

b. and there's plenty of that down by the sea

[it’s strange to think about, isn’t it? how all those new passengers, the ones grumbling or shouting their way through the forced muster drill, have absolutely no idea what happened just last month. no idea about the labyrinth. no concept of why anyone around them would be a bit more hesitant around shadows.

they’ll learn.

sometimes a shadow is darker than it’s supposed to be. very rarely does anything come of that; just a vague sense that someone is watching you, and little more. sometimes, though, the shadows move. sometimes they grab at your ankles as you walk. sometimes they give you a shove as you go down the stairs. sometimes they pull your hair, or pinch your arm.

sometimes you feel something sharp cut into your lower leg.

that’s not a shadow, though. that’s a fiddler crab. you see the crab, sometimes. the cut isn’t from its claws, which don’t look very intimating; it’s not a very large crab. the cut is from the large kitchen knife crudely taped onto its back. it’s probably fine. it's not chasing you. there isn't evil in its heart. probably.]

c. think I'll go back to the Keys

[one day, in the atrium, two pedestals suddenly appear. on each is a large button: one green, and one blue. pressing the blue button gives you a little treat, popping out of thin air next to you. pressing the green button sends a small electric shock through your body. weird, but, hey, pretty avoidable, right?

except, it seems to be spreading. to every other button on board.

in the elevator. on the soda machine. the arcade. your phone. the bell on Friday’s desk.]

Comments

[lordoftheozarks]

"A letter." Erik looks this other vampire in the eyes with the most deadpan expression. "Yes of course I am literate. And how would I have it delivered, hm? Shall I pin it to a bulletin board and hope he wanders past it? What courier is going to take a request when there is no address that I can list? If all you can think to say are insults to me, then you are a waste of my time. I'm in no mood for games."

[lordoftheozarks]

Oh, Goddammit. Stab him in the eyes already, it would be better than this bullshit.

"The suit is already ruined beyond repair. Your mission is more than a-accomplished." That last stab through the ribs actually gets a wince from him. Fuck, that spot is tender.

"Does your bride to be know what kind of sadist they are marrying?"

[lordoftheozarks]

He can hear her coming... at first. Then she's suddenly quiet, and that worries him enough that he turns his head around to check on her. What the fuck? Now she's a giant Eagle??

Flapping with all his might, he shoots straight down the hall and then blasts into the stairwell. He's gotten... intimately familiar with the dimensions of this stairwell. No wood chippers in here today, thank fuck.

He's swift and nimble, but like this he can only go as fast as a true hawk. He doesn't know if the same rules apply to her. He doesn't care to stick around to ask. He's going to get up to the deck as fast as he can and hope to lose her by shifting into something smaller once he's curved around the bow of the ship to hide it. Perhaps into a gnat once more.

Arrival

[aurthor]

"You fought with a wolverine?"

Arthur likes the feisty attitude, but that sounds unpleasant. Or maybe that's his city-dweller speaking.

"So far as I can tell, the way back isn't quite so direct. Would you like to help me deduce more about this place?"

[lordoftheozarks]

Of all the most humiliating... a mouth hatch? Why the fuck does this woman have such a contraption on her? She's one speak of captives.

"I am aware that there is more than one of you that shares this attitude, yes."

[aurthor]

The blue eyes just widen. Kill all the fairies?! "They were really that cruel?" Evil fairies??? Not just mischievous then. Perhaps?

Oh yeah, even Arthur would agree that's creepy. And he almost threatened to bite Le Comte's guest but for Napoleon instantly protecting her. But he only bites with permission, and usually women beg him - it induces ecstasy.

"And women are always a mystery I wish to unravel," he instantly retorts to her comment about men all having problems.

Honestly, we're all ficitional in someone else's world would make Arthur accept the rest of this ship's adventure pretty damn quickly. Although he wouldn't know in advance to ask if that ever goes in reverse directions. Like you think you're the author, but maybe you're just playing into fate. An author to help disguise how real someone else is.

"Hedges. Fairies again, I take it? I dont' rightly know, you'd have to ask her yourself I suppose." He glances around the ship. "This ship may seem gargantuan, I daresay even that T-word," he doesn't know how (in)famous the Titanic's sinking remains, if any, but given how Holme's popularity only grew (how in the blazes?) but even Arthur knows you don't mention the name, especially not at sea! "But I reckon it can't have more than 200 of us. It's a bit strange though, it doesn't have nearly the number of personnel you'd expect to operate."

A

[aurthor]

Is there a reason you want to smother a parrot so desperately?

[Arthur can imagine wanting to get drunk in this place. But 100 proof is going to get the absinthe reference, and well before he hands it over, because that just seems uncomfortable and not very fun!]

[not_the_last]

She regards him for a moment, and nods. (Not quite hiding the fact that she's pleased he guessed.)

"Nobility, yes. My family has been the ruling lords and ladies of Whitestone for centuries. I don't insist on being called Lady here, though."

[guildmastermind]

"I imagine some here would chafe if you did, seeing it as you placing yourself above them. Though I'd guess there may also be internal reasons for not insisting, given your separation from your family's domain."

It's good strategy--or rather, it would be poor strategy to be a twat about it.

"But would you prefer it, if people who at least pretend to have manners used your title? I'm fine either way."

[lordoftheozarks]

"I'm certain Max would still be more than happy to make it for you if he were to come. You could tell me how to contact him and I could invite him here to solve both of our problems." He knows Nobunaga isn't going to actually agree to that, so it's said entirely in spite.

"As a lord? Not that it's any of your business to know, but one must first reach the age of a thousand years and then they must claim a territory for themselves, declare and defend it. I have done this." That type of system should sound very familiar.

"As for humans? What makes you think that I fear them? I work with them, and quite often. I do business with them, I entertain them in my home, I am policed by them. You really do not seem to know much about how my kind operate at all. You should stop pretending that you do. Life is not a chess board. I tire of that metaphor. But I do agree with you that Max is irreplaceable, which should explain why I am so eager to locate him now."

[lordoftheozarks]

"Dumped?" He bristles. "He most certainly did not. But if you want me gone so badly there is only one thing you need to do."

He sets the apron aside and stalks closer to them. "Tell me how to contact Max Maximum."

[aurthor]

"I'd deliver it," he replies quickly enough, "But I very much doubt you want another vampire near your boo." Yes, boo.

"You don't need a location as long as you have his name. We're on a ship, it's not like a city, more like a single building with multiple common areas. A castle. Prey on their weak human sensibilities and idea of justice, surely one of them is easy enough to dupe."

[tempingainteasy]

Bristling and stalking has no effect on April, who not only has dealt with angry members of the public demanding the contact information of others in their building, but has also done a fair amount of bristling and stalking in their time.

No, the hesitation from April isn't intimidation, it's thinking back to a book and a scribbled comment and the desperate fight against knowledge they did not need to know.

"... The guy with the big dick?" April says with a crumpled up face, and because they've apparently retained nothing, they add "Why?"

[not_the_last]

Cassandra studies his face for a moment, cool and impassive. "I see. The attacks have already begun, haven't they."

She knows perfectly well that they have; Erin's given her the general idea of how Erik's first few weeks here went. She could almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

"They're not going to stop, you know. You can make deals with one or another of us, and some will keep their word, and some won't. And there are so many of us. I'm very much afraid that what you have to look forward to here is being killed, again and again, unless someone intervenes. And the Captain won't."

A long beat. "Needless to say, that's unacceptable."

[maximumcake]

"I will do the same for you here. Absolutely." That's not even a question. But the trust he sees in this mans eyes... it fills him with such a strange agony. How weird to feel proud of a past he can't remember. He seems to have become a really good person in whatever life they shared. Now, he's afraid he won't be able to measure up to it twice.

"Um. I guess we could start with me showing you around? There are a lot of nice features to this ship. Like, there's a pool, and an all you can eat buffet. Ooh, we have a sushi restaurant too, and a bunch of bars. You don't... smoke, do you?"

[redlightgreenlight]

"Nowhere in my request did I expect you to ignore him, reject him or not continue to seek him. We both know the size of Max's heart, I won't attempt to make you break it on my account."

Valdis will ignore his question about Eshe, it's not important. The important part is over, she has exerted her power, one of the few things that Erik appreciates and will at least think about should he find Max. She can't even demand he not feed off of Max, because she herself does. The parallels are overruled by the choices she makes.

"Max has many people here who love him. Not all of them, as you have discovered, are as forgiving as I am."

[not_the_last]

She can't help but smile. "I'm fine either way as well. Lady is more formal; I would prefer that over Miss, if you're asking. But I have no objection to Cassandra by itself."

A beat. "And while we're on the subject, what would you prefer to be called? Formally or otherwise?"

[busball]

Klaus snorts softly. "He's a demon king, so I don't think he'd care even if he did know." But that's funny. "The funny thing is, he's usually the sadist of the two of us, but I guess finding one an inadequate bastard that mistreated one of my favorite people just really gets me going, you know?"

They study him a moment. "But you cover it up as kindness. Only doing good for him, no? You give him kindness and slowly stamp out his will until he can't see that you're a manipulative piece of shit and even if he could, he wouldn't do anything about it...because you care about him, right? How kind of you to give him glimpses of the light while keeping him trapped in the dark. What and who would he be without you? Right?"

There's a hollow laugh there, the expression on their face darker. Knife out and between another two ribs. "My father was the same way. But the difference is...I can tell he was an asshole. You don't deserve Max. He's much too good for you."

[crushed_pearls]

"Close enough." Erin sighs, and sticks her hands in her pockets. "...This community might be good for you, if you let it. This round of extreme measures was a message. Round two will be for real. Keep that in mind, and enjoy the muster drill."

Erin goes to leave, but pauses at the door as a thought occurs to her. "Ah, one more thing. A gentleman of your clear taste in fashion might be inclined to throw away the gift Ms. Friday gives you. Understand that this is a sincere warning and not a threat: it's rather a matter of life or death that you keep it, and keep it safe. Ideally, even wear it all the time."

[hate_gettin_older]

Edgar smiles, fond and warm. "We actually met in a pool, if you believe it? Tell you about it sometime. You introduced me to sushi, too. Nah, don't smoke, never had anything you could fuckin smoke growing up, don't really see the point."

[ablativeholopleather]

[A small shrug of the shoulder.] I'unno. I've always done it. I just need food to make it work.

Anyway, this place is weird but you can kind of get used to its cycles. I don't think it necessarily runs on what we believe about it. Just, you're gonna get a lot of different answers on it if you go asking around so try not to take anything too seriously, okay? [He thumbs over his shoulder toward the hall that leads down to Windjammer.] You hungry? I think today we're working on hamburgers.

[ablativeholopleather]

Wayne listens, and nods along. Another one of those was-human-but-isn'ts that he's met plenty of by now.

"I've met a couple of vampires now. Knew of one before all this too but they mostly kept to themself." At least, he thinks that's what their seldom-glimpsed observer might have been. There wasn't really time to ask.

"Don't worry too much, I don't think anyone here's gonna look at you weird over that. You'll fit in fine. I mean, I managed to make a good few friends here and most of them look more like you than like me."

[andrieski]

"They kidnapped everyone and punished the people that tried to help them!" Okay, that's a slight omission of the truth. She was cheating to help. "And they forced people to give up years of their life for the freedom of their friends or make embarrassing admissions." Like liking her. She's looking at you, Holland. Ugh.

Ugggghhhh. "Shut up."

Marina pulls a face. "No. Hedgewitches. Like people not classically trained in magic." Except she had been. But Brakebills took those memories. Hacked away at the things she wanted to remember until all she knew was the existence of magic and not how to do it. And she'd dragged herself from the bottom up all over again. She has the tattoos (only the ink is more dark blue) to prove it. Hers go all the way up to 250, starting at her wrist and ending just about her elbow. And she'd eventually tricked Fogg into letting her get close enough to drug him so she could steal her memories back. It's not on her to feel bad about it.

"T word?" She's not sure she understands. "Yeah, neither did the others. But it's usually run by robots or some other magical thing." She doesn't claim to know what is running this specific ship, though. If she had magic glass, maybe she could tell.

[decohere]

"Oh, no no," Ava begins to deny. And then pauses to clarify. "Unless you're expecting a certain level of deference. And then I'm afraid I'm in short supply."

She smiles and offers out her arm in what she thinks is a very fancy ladylike gesture.

[lordoftheozarks]

"I'm sure this community may be good for you, but I do not plan to stay around long enough to become a lifelong member of it." Spoken like a man who has not learned his lesson yet.

"I will take your warning under advisement. Goodbye."