sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #9

1. tidal waves out on the sea

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. I don't know where I'm-a gonna go

[something new has been set up at Friday’s desk. there’s a sign, but it’s not advertising the next excursion, or anything familiar like that. instead, it says, in big, bold letters, SUGGESTIONS AND COMPLAINTS, with a large downward-facing arrow below it, pointing at what looks to be an empty tissue box with the word “COMPLAINTS” hastily etched onto it. there is a pile of small slips of paper and some pens next to it, and Friday cheerfully informs you that you can submit anything you like, no consequences! and it’s weird that she has to specify, but, also, she really does, doesn’t she?

and there aren’t any consequences! the Captain doesn’t come out of nowhere and dome you instantly for the slight. Friday doesn’t give you the cold shoulder or a rude remark. now, an unidentifiable voice does start reciting your complaint or suggestion, with your name attached, over the loudspeaker at full volume every 20 minutes or so. but, that’s debatable as a consequence. probably. maybe. not actually.]

3. pretty soon we learn to fly

[this was one of the suggestions. apparently. that’s what Friday will say if anyone asks her about it. and they probably will. because surely there has to be some sort of reason why the floor in windjammer is, currently, lava.

like. actual molten magma-type lava, flowing in sluggish rivers around the tables and booths, the sections of the buffet. so, maybe you decide to go eat at one of the many other fine dining establishments aboard today, or at least until the floor decides to stop being lava. or, maybe you decide that those dinosaur chicken nuggets are worth the risk of life and limb. and thus, you climb, clamber, jump, leap - a perilous and terrifying journey, knowing you are only one false step away from an agonizing death.

until you fall in. and then you realize that, no, this is not actually lava at all, for all it looks exactly like it. it’s actually barely room temperature, and strangely watery. you taste sweetened tomato paste. it’s not death, but maybe that would have been a little bit better.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There's a sigh at her words and he plops his chin in his hands. He wonders, idly, how fast Friday would show up if he found his way to the bar and made a molotov cocktail and then threw it at the pool bar or in one of the stores.

"Um. Cause we have the same first name and he said I couldn't use it since it was his. Well, I mean...he didn't say that out loud cause he didn't say much, but he just killed me every time someone called me my first name." There's a sigh.

"Uhhh...she's blonde, angry, and probably will kill me if she sees me, too. Uggghhhh." Why does everyone just want to kill him all the time?

"I don't think he has a monopoly on the name." Or maybe he does. It's entirely possible that there's a world out there where someone can call dibs on a name, she supposes.

"How many times did that happen?" Does it matter? No, but now she's curious because he brought it up. There are so many questions and not enough answers, and that seems like the most important one right now.

The description isn't terribly helpful, but it does raise the question of how many people want to kill this guy. "Well, we can walk around and see if you recognize her."

He lowers his voice to a stage whisper. "It doesn't matter when everyone likes him better and they all hate me!" A sigh. "And they hate Chidi even more!"

He frowns a little. "Like so many. You might as well just call me Mendoza cause then you won't risk me getting murdered." There's a sigh. "If only I could have had a name like Donkey Doug or Pillboi. Then I wouldn't have run the risk! Or I should have just stuck with Jiyanu. It's not my name and it's so racist to act like just cause I'm Asian, I could be from any Asian country!"

He frowns for a moment. "Yeah. If nothing else, we can go to Bobby B's or Stan the Man for a drink and to get something to make a molotov cocktail. At least then maybe Friday will answer my questions!"

"Why does everyone hate you?" It's a genuine question. She's known him for all of a couple of minutes so far, and she can't really see any reason for that. He seems nice enough.

Chrissy blinks. "Do you want me to call you Mendoza?" It seems like a simple enough request, even if she's not entirely convinced that it's a necessary one. He might be the only Jason on board, as far as she's aware. He's not done talking, and none of those names are ringing any bells either. "I think you'll be okay. I haven't seen or heard of anyone going around killing people over their names," she tells him.

"I'm sorry. Where do you want to go?" It's just that she's been here for months now, and neither of those names is at all familiar to her.

"Cause I'm so cool and they're jealous of my dance crew!!" Probably. "Also cause they're dumb and they hate Chidi and we're friends!"

Jason frowns at that. "No...but I'll probably die if you don't." It's the dumbest thing that's ever happened! Someone is liable to kill him just to make a point. "That's what you think now, but then you're on a boat with someone with the same name as you and they kill you every time someone says your name!"

He just assumes she's new now. Obviously everyone knows Bobby B's and Stan the Man. "Bobby B's? It's one of the bars? And so's Stan the Man. Obviously."

"That sounds rough. You have a dance crew?" Chrissy's not really sure if that's a good reason to hate someone, so maybe changing the subject might help.

"Well, I don't want you to die, so Mendoza it is!" Hopefully, it's unnecessary. For now, she's at least willing to go along with it if it'll help put him at ease. "I've been here for a while now and I haven't met another Chrissy." Or another Jason, but maybe she'll just keep that to herself for now.

Chrissy blinks as he continues. "I don't really hang out in the bars much, but I don't think I've seen those names around. Are you sure you don't mean Hurikane or Rischie?"

"Yeah. We were called Dance Dance Resolutions! There was like...64 of us." It was totally the best. He can't actually remember most of them anymore. Just remembered telling the story so many times that it's there in his head.

"Thanks." There's a long, sad sigh. "I was the first Jason, but he just made everyone kill me instead!!!" He pouts a little, but it's just...one of those things. Or something.

"Hurikane?" That name sound familiar, but why? WHY? "No. I mean Bobby B's and Stan the Man." They're probably in the same place, right? So he is just going to start walking. "We'll totally find them and I'll show them to you!!"

"That's cute!" It's actually really clever, and she's kind of wondering who came up with the name. There are so many questions, and it would be so easy to just focus on that for the next however long.

"That wasn't a very nice thing for him to do," Chrissy says, as though that's not entirely obvious. It's still kind of an odd concept, but it probably says something about how long she's been here if the idea doesn't have her immediately shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yea. I don't really spend much time in the bars because I don't drink, so I suppose it's possible that there are some I just haven't seen." Or maybe he's mistaken. It could go either way at this point.

"Okay. Wait up!" He's got a bit of a head-start, so she has to rush to try to catch up.

TEST DRIVE MEME #9

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