TEST DRIVE MEME #9

[sailmods]

1. tidal waves out on the sea

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. I don't know where I'm-a gonna go

[something new has been set up at Friday’s desk. there’s a sign, but it’s not advertising the next excursion, or anything familiar like that. instead, it says, in big, bold letters, SUGGESTIONS AND COMPLAINTS, with a large downward-facing arrow below it, pointing at what looks to be an empty tissue box with the word “COMPLAINTS” hastily etched onto it. there is a pile of small slips of paper and some pens next to it, and Friday cheerfully informs you that you can submit anything you like, no consequences! and it’s weird that she has to specify, but, also, she really does, doesn’t she?

and there aren’t any consequences! the Captain doesn’t come out of nowhere and dome you instantly for the slight. Friday doesn’t give you the cold shoulder or a rude remark. now, an unidentifiable voice does start reciting your complaint or suggestion, with your name attached, over the loudspeaker at full volume every 20 minutes or so. but, that’s debatable as a consequence. probably. maybe. not actually.]

3. pretty soon we learn to fly

[this was one of the suggestions. apparently. that’s what Friday will say if anyone asks her about it. and they probably will. because surely there has to be some sort of reason why the floor in windjammer is, currently, lava.

like. actual molten magma-type lava, flowing in sluggish rivers around the tables and booths, the sections of the buffet. so, maybe you decide to go eat at one of the many other fine dining establishments aboard today, or at least until the floor decides to stop being lava. or, maybe you decide that those dinosaur chicken nuggets are worth the risk of life and limb. and thus, you climb, clamber, jump, leap - a perilous and terrifying journey, knowing you are only one false step away from an agonizing death.

until you fall in. and then you realize that, no, this is not actually lava at all, for all it looks exactly like it. it’s actually barely room temperature, and strangely watery. you taste sweetened tomato paste. it’s not death, but maybe that would have been a little bit better.

Comments

[two_souls_wedged_inside]

"We're Webber!" It's a fitting name for a kid who's 50% spider.

They take a moment to digest her explanation. "Do you need it like right now? We just got here and we don't know where anything is. But we could help you look!"

[glittering_gleam]

"Nice to meet you, Webber!" She shakes her head in response to their question. "I don't need it today, it could wait a few days, but if it goes longer then I might explode. I'd be very happy to explore with all of you. But when you say 'we", do you mean there are a few people sharing a body, or that you've got friends around?"

[two_souls_wedged_inside]

"We don't want you to explode," Webber says, very firmly and seriously. Exploding sounds like it would be dangerous and painful. And messy.

"None of our friends came here with us. It's just me and him." That clarifies everything, right?

[glittering_gleam]

She nods seriously, matching their seriousness. "I came here alone, too. It's good that the two of you have each other, at least: it's no good for kids to be alone. Seven younger siblings, I have. If they got lost in such a strange place, I'd be very proud of them if they were half as brave as you."

deliberately mangles webber's DST character selection screen quote

[two_souls_wedged_inside]

It's not the first time Webber's got lost in a strange place, and some elements of it really do get easier with experience. The fact that there are other people here and none of them have picked a physical fight with him so far already puts it in the top 50% of strange places he's gotten lost in. He nods. "We're never alone, because we're always together."

"Wow, that's so many! I never had any siblings, but he had lots," Webber says, tone considerably less grave now that they're off the topic of people exploding. "What are they like?"

Re: deliberately mangles webber's DST character selection screen quote

[glittering_gleam]

"Oh! Well, there's a lot of them I could tell you about, of course, but we could start with—" The ship hits a bigger wave than she expected, and she stumbles a bit. "Maybe we could find a place to sit down? I'm not too steady on board yet, you see."

[two_souls_wedged_inside]

Webber gives her a concerned look as she stumbles, extending his headlegs and reaching out a hand, but she catches herself without help.

"Okay, Ms. Goldenglow!" Webber looks around for chairs, couches, or approximately knee-height trim molding; they don't have to look far, since the lounge is within sight of the guest services desk and it's full of cushy armchairs.

"Let's go over there. It looks comfy." He points with one hand and slips the other exceedingly hairy little hand into hers. Carefully, so he doesn't poke her with his claws.