TEST DRIVE MEME #9

[sailmods]

1. tidal waves out on the sea

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. I don't know where I'm-a gonna go

[something new has been set up at Friday’s desk. there’s a sign, but it’s not advertising the next excursion, or anything familiar like that. instead, it says, in big, bold letters, SUGGESTIONS AND COMPLAINTS, with a large downward-facing arrow below it, pointing at what looks to be an empty tissue box with the word “COMPLAINTS” hastily etched onto it. there is a pile of small slips of paper and some pens next to it, and Friday cheerfully informs you that you can submit anything you like, no consequences! and it’s weird that she has to specify, but, also, she really does, doesn’t she?

and there aren’t any consequences! the Captain doesn’t come out of nowhere and dome you instantly for the slight. Friday doesn’t give you the cold shoulder or a rude remark. now, an unidentifiable voice does start reciting your complaint or suggestion, with your name attached, over the loudspeaker at full volume every 20 minutes or so. but, that’s debatable as a consequence. probably. maybe. not actually.]

3. pretty soon we learn to fly

[this was one of the suggestions. apparently. that’s what Friday will say if anyone asks her about it. and they probably will. because surely there has to be some sort of reason why the floor in windjammer is, currently, lava.

like. actual molten magma-type lava, flowing in sluggish rivers around the tables and booths, the sections of the buffet. so, maybe you decide to go eat at one of the many other fine dining establishments aboard today, or at least until the floor decides to stop being lava. or, maybe you decide that those dinosaur chicken nuggets are worth the risk of life and limb. and thus, you climb, clamber, jump, leap - a perilous and terrifying journey, knowing you are only one false step away from an agonizing death.

until you fall in. and then you realize that, no, this is not actually lava at all, for all it looks exactly like it. it’s actually barely room temperature, and strangely watery. you taste sweetened tomato paste. it’s not death, but maybe that would have been a little bit better.

Comments

[astrogator]

[No drinks, then! Arilanna Tayrey will always give people the benefit of the doubt initially; she's too used to playing the friendly face of the Tradelines, mediation and negotiation planetside - but all under peaceable contract. Which, she has learnt, can't be taken for granted here. Her eyes narrow.]

No, I don't think you will. I won't let you harm him.

[She's still very calm, conversational.] If my solemn word is worthless to you, than what is yours to me? I have only your word that you are Akechi Mitsuhide, and you didn't pledge that by anything. You could be his enemy.

[The point of such an oath, she thinks, is that it's given by something that's meaningful to the speaker, whether or not that holds value for the listener. And she doesn't like the sound of testing at all.]

You and I have no established contract. [That's exceptionally carefully phrased, because plain 'no contract' would be too harsh, indicating a hostility that isn't there.] I won't ask for your trust. Oda always says to trust his actions, not his words. But consider it! - if we are both telling the truth, we will have to work together. [Insulting her by suggesting her word as a Tradeliner means nothing isn't the best start to a working relationship.]

I'm asking you to think this through. Either we lend one another just enough trust to have this conversation civilly, or it's better for both of us that I walk away now. [And warn Nobunaga about this man, whoever he is.]

[damn_kitsune]

[Mitsuhide laughed because this was starting to become too amusing. Does she even realize what she's saying?]

Who said my test would involve harming him?

[Yep, she was definitely like Hideyoshi. Jumping to the conclusion that every unfamiliar face meant harm to the lord they served, and also having the expectations that everyone will follow the same set of rules.]

Did it ever occur to you that I didn't offer such an oath because I knew one would be meaningless to an outsider? For all I know this "Tradelines" is some group of pirates.

[He still has that sly humorless smile as he regarded her.]

Besides, even the noblest are capable of breaking such oaths. So in the end, only the most foolish and naive would trust someone on words alone.

[If one could be trusted just by swearing an oath, than there would be no need for Mitsuhide to most of the things he does for the Oda Forces.]

If the person you speak of is actually Lord Nobunaga, then you would have known this already. And if he told you anything about me, he would have warned you about what my duties are. Thus you would have known it best not to approach me so carelessly.

[astrogator]

[Ari loathes being laughed at, so she scowls back at him. She might recognise that he has a point in saying that neither of them have a valid reason to trust the other, but by refusing to proceed as if they could, whatever private reservations he holds, he makes conversation impossible.

When he suggests the Tradeliners might be pirates, her expression darkens further, anger and disbelief.]

I see.

I'd have taken your word if you gave it honorably, but by your own suggestion, I'd be naive and a fool to believe now that you don't mean Oda any harm. At minimum, it's arrogance, thinking you have any right to test your commander. At worst? Well, you seem good at imagining the worst of people, I'll leave that to you.

Many Tradeliners have lost their lives trying to rid the skies of pirates. Good people. Something I'd have told you, if you'd bothered to ask who we were or what we stood for.

[She shakes her head. Ari knows that when she gives her word, it's binding. This man doesn't know this about her, but in challenging her, he has revealed that any oath he can give is worthless. He just assumes everyone else is as corrupt as he is.]

I don't see anything productive coming of this. [And she's turning to go. There's no point in offering him more information about this place when he's taken against her already.]

[damn_kitsune]

[He chuckles again.]

If Lord Nobunaga told you anything about me then you would have already known that I do not swear oaths unless I am deceiving a target and I am far from the honorable sort. I am his left hand and you should learn what that means.

[He watches her as she turned to walk away.]

I've known him for well over a decade. You should probably ask yourself how well you really know him because I can guarantee you have only scratched the surface.

[It was a test really. One that Mitsuhide himself has done countless times in order to weed out any potential traitors to the Oda Forces. Sure Hideyoshi is distrustful of anyone who first allies themselves with Nobunaga, but he never goes about finding any proof. That was Mitsuhide's job, after which, if they do turn out to be traitors, he quietly takes care of them.]