TEST DRIVE MEME #8

[sailmods]

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Comments

[redlightgreenlight]

"Just another passenger." She replies, gaze returning to the book once again. "My names is Valdis. What is yours?"

The poor guy really is one of the most submissive people she's met on this ship. Some people would likely eat him alive. Siffleur definitely would.

[maximumcake]

"Was the other body a passenger too?" His tone is timid, deferential, but it still matters enough to him to ask.

"I'm Max Maximum," he bows his head to her, since he's not willing to disobey her order to sit.

[redlightgreenlight]

"Technically, but he also ate someone earlier, so he was fair game."

It's not the whole story, but it's enough to maybe make him sweat a little more.

"Well, there are all sorts of monsters here, Max. Find yourself some friends, you will need them."

[maximumcake]

"He... " Max swallows hard. "Was he a vampire?" That's the kind of eating people Max is familiar with.

"What about you? I'm sorry if this is rude, but you seem like more than human."

[redlightgreenlight]

"No, he's a werecougar. Likes to eat people and play games."

She looks back up at him. "I am more than human, but I am not a vampire or were-animal."

[maximumcake]

Werecougar?? Fear spikes, but under that is clear relief that she killed it already. Maybe he misjudged her. A were-anything is bad news.

"Oh. Okay, well, good. I... thanks? For protecting us. You seem like you know the score around here. Are there any vampires? I need to... I need to know."

[redlightgreenlight]

"No vampires I know of, and don't worry," she sensed his simultaneous fear and relief at the knowledge that she'd killed Siffleur, "No one stays dead for long, so he was back the next day, ready to keep playing his games."

She sets down her book, "Why so interested in vampires?"

[maximumcake]

Don't worry, she says. But the moment she says people come back from death, he is ALL WORRY. You mean the werecougar is still out there?? She's got to just be fucking with him, right?

"Why? I work for one. And I really need to get back to him."

[redlightgreenlight]

She is indeed messing with him, but she's also not lying.

"Ah. that explains a lot. Does he sparkle?"

[maximumcake]

"What? Like in Twilight?" He snickers. "No. And he really, really hates those books." There's a hint of smugness now, because Max may or may not have taken to reading passages of those books out loud to Erik when he was feeling especially bratty.

"He can go out in the sun too without bursting into flames. That's a stupid myth."

[redlightgreenlight]

Ah, finally, a little more confidence from the prey-coded man.

"What about garlic? Silver? Beheading?"

She's truly curious, not at all trying to figure out how to kill the vampire should he ever show up.

[maximumcake]

"I would die if I wasn't allowed to make garlic bread in the house. And silver is fine. Good luck trying to behead one; that's your funeral." Yes, he has better sense than to give away the actual secret of how to kill his master, but she's not even close with any of these.

"Crosses just make him laugh, too, while we're at it."

[redlightgreenlight]

"I've beheaded an Archdemon, I think your master might be a bit easier than that."

She hums.

"Do Vampires even have souls? I've never met a real one, so I don't actually know."

[maximumcake]

"Whoa." Okay, he does look impressed. He still thinks his master could take her, but he's impressed.

"I'm assuming they do. But it's not like I've ever asked him. Kinda rude question. But they aren't evil, you know."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Well, then I could definitely kill him."

"Not having a soul doesn't necessarily mean you are evil." The Captain doesn't seem to be, though the jury is still out on if he has a soul or not. "It just means you may lack certain qualities of a good person."

But the again even demons have souls. Max seems pretty loyal to his vampiric master, though whether that loyalty is real or trained, she can't tell.

[maximumcake]

"But you wouldn't have any reason to kill him..." Max is getting worked up just talking about hypothetically killing his master, not least of all because his own death would swiftly follow.

"It doesn't matter. He's...not here." His emotions just from saying that are a knot of grief tangled in more relief and a lot of fear.

His hand slips to the back of his neck, to scratch nervously at an old scar. It always itches when he's upset. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Well." Changing the subject seems like a good idea, he's getting a little emotional. "You can build a life here. You can struggle against our aspiring god the Captain. You could make friends. You could learn a new hobby. The possibilities are endless."

[maximumcake]

His breath catches in his throat and his body freezes in place as she lays out those options as if they are so simple. So obvious. Putting aside the one about struggling against the aspiring god Captain (because he can't even begin to picture what that would look like) the rest seems like... a dream come true. But this isn't a dream. This is some kind of nightmare he's trapped in and it really couldn't all be that simple, could it?

Starting to get light headed. He forces out a shuddering exhale.

"You make that sound so easy."

[redlightgreenlight]

That didn't seem to help him much. If anything it only increased his anxiety. He seems to be somewhere between eagerness and fear, definitely easy pickings.

"Everything sounds easier than it is," she replies, "But your master isn't here, so you need to learn to stand alone."

[maximumcake]

The easiest. In more ways than one.

"But, what if he comes? If I got here he could too, right? He'll be looking for me."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Well, if he comes and doesn't behave himself there may be an issue, but I suppose it is possible he might show up."

It's almost like Max cannot stand to think for himself, he needs someone to tell him what to do. It's both pathetic and sad at the same time.

[maximumcake]

"Behave himself?" Max bristles. "My master is a gentleman. He's not some monster or beast. He saved my life." By enslaving him. But Max is very good at overlooking that detail.

"He's an Elder and a Lord of his own territory."

[redlightgreenlight]

"And I'm a Queen," She says simply, going back to her book.

"You seem quite loyal, but in a very twisted way. How did he save your life?"

[maximumcake]

"You are?" He sits up in his chair so fast already terrified at the possibility she isn't lying.

Twisted? That's not... no! "A good servant should be loyal." He's trying to sound innocent about that but he really just makes himself sound more guilty. "That's... a long story. I'm not sure if I should--are you really a queen?"

[redlightgreenlight]

Apparently that was the right thing to say.

"I am." It's not really a lie, you don't just stop being queen of an entire race just because you locked them in Purgatory. "And good servants should be loyal, but I much prefer mine to be able to entertain themselves."

Or at least she would imagine that she would.