TEST DRIVE MEME #8

[sailmods]

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Comments

[nepetaleijon]

The thing is --

The thing is that with Karkat blustering and fuming at the top of his voice, it's easy to feel like everything is all right. Like everything is normal. It's comforting, almost.

"Wait, if you die you come back? Furever?"

[angrycrabnoises]

“APPARENTLY! THERE’S THIS BIG BINDER IN THE LIBRARY THAT HAS ALL THE RULES OF THIS HELLHOLE. I COULD SHOW IT TO YOU IF YOU WANT THE HORROR OF REALITY TO SLOWLY SINK IN.”

[nepetaleijon]

"That's purrobably a good idea, yes please." Rules implies a game, maybe; this doesn't feel like a game, but if there are rules ... well, it's most likely a good idea to read them.

"How long have you b33n here?"

[angrycrabnoises]

“ALRIGHT, COME ON,” he gestures to her and leads the way to the library.

“AND I’VE BEEN HERE A WEEK, MAYBE? SOMETHING LIKE THAT,” he says, then adds in a harsher tone, “AMPORA’S ALSO HERE, HE’S BEEN HERE LONGER. NOBODY ELSE WE KNOW.”

[nepetaleijon]

Nepeta doesn't exactly hiss at Eridan's name, but she does make a grumbly sulky rrrr noise that Karkat can choose to ignore if he likes.

"A w33k isn't very long," she says thoughtfully. "Meowbe more of the others will show up if we just wait?"

[angrycrabnoises]

At Nepeta’s response to hearing Eridan’s name, Karkat snorts and says, “YOU AND ME BOTH!” There’s a reason Karkat referred to him by surname rather than first name.

“WE BETTER HOPE WE DON’T SEE ANY MORE FAMILIAR FUCKING FACES HERE, BECAUSE THAT MEANS THEY’RE TRAPPED IN THIS MARITIME MONSTROSITY WITH US INSTEAD OF SAVING PARADOX SPACE.”
At least Nepeta doesn’t have much life left that she’s been split from. He doesn’t say that part out loud.

[nepetaleijon]

"Saving Purradox Space?"

That's ... not what they were doing the last thing she remembers.

[angrycrabnoises]

“UH. YEAH,” Karkat scratches the back of his head, realizing he’s said too much. “THAT’S THE PLAN. AT LEAST AT MY POINT IN TIME.”

[nepetaleijon]

"Oh, so you're Future Karkat."

(It has been pointed out, the narration notes, that the thing about characters from this particular canon is that half the time when something buckwild comes up they're just like "oh yeah this is like super relatable".)

She's about to ask how much further on he is, but at about that moment they reach the library.

[angrycrabnoises]

“NO, I’M PRESENT KARKAT. YOU’RE PAST NEPETA,” he responds pedantically. “I WISH FUTURE KARKAT WAS HERE SO I COULD KICK HIM SQUARE IN THE HINDQUARTERS. ANYWAY, WE’RE HERE.”
He opens the door and gestures at the library.
“HOME TO MY FIRST MENTAL BREAKDOWN ON THE SERENA ETERNA. NO WAIT, SECOND. WAIT. THIRD. I HAVE A LOT OF MENTAL BREAKDOWNS.”
He points out the black binder. “THIS SHOULD HAVE EVERYTHING WE KNOW RIGHT NOW.” He winces sympathetically. “IT ISN’T GREAT.”

[nepetaleijon]

She hops up on the table, sits down cross-legged, and starts leafing through the binder.

Slowly her cheerful demeanor starts to subside to something a lot more serious.

[angrycrabnoises]

“SO YEAH, THAT’S THE GIST OF IT. WE’RE TRAPPED HERE, WE’RE DOOMED OFFSHOOTS, WE’RE HERE TO BE TORTURED, WE CAN’T FIGHT THE BASTARD. OR, WELL, WE CAN, IF WE WANTED TO MASS-MURDER EVERYONE IN THE PROCESS. MY VOTE IS AGAINST IT UNLESS IT’S GETTING REALLY FUCKING BLEAK AROUND HERE,” Karkat rambles while Nepeta silently reads through the binder.

While talking, he has the sinking realization that his chronic need to fill every awkward silence with nervous chatter is exactly what Strider would do. He doesn’t know how he feels about that.

[nepetaleijon]

Nepeta looks up from the last page of the binder, her eyes enormous.

"What are we gonna do?"

[angrycrabnoises]

“WE’RE NOT DOING ANYTHING,” he shrugs.
“I’M DONE WITH BEING THE LEADER. I’M JUST GOING TO SLOWLY ROT INTO OBSCURITY IN MY ETERNAL RETIREMENT. THERE’S PLENTY OF OTHER PEOPLE ON THE SHIP WHO HAVE THEIR OWN PLANS. I THINK SOME IDIOT IS TRYING TO COLLECT AN ARMY AND HAS LIKE TWO AND A HALF PEOPLE IN IT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE IS HAPPENING.”

[nepetaleijon]

"... Oh."

She sounds uncertain, almost to the point of stricken; she seems about to say something else before she looks back down at the binder.

[angrycrabnoises]

Karkat is a bit too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice Nepeta’s reaction.

“YEP, THAT’S JUST LIFE APPARENTLY. BEING JERKED AROUND BY SOME ANGRY GOD OR ANOTHER. AFTER A CERTAIN POINT, YOU JUST GOTTA GIVE UP AND TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. MAYBE TRY TO FIND SOMETHING GOOD IN ALL THE SHIT. THAT’S MY STRATEGY NOW. HAVEN’T REALLY FIGURED IT OUT YET, BUT IT’S A LEARNING PROCESS.” He shrugs.

[nepetaleijon]

No almost about it this time, as she looks up in dismay.

"Give up?"

[angrycrabnoises]

“...YEAH?” Karkat responds hesitantly, feeling like he’s put his foot in his mouth again somehow.

It’s only then that he notices the look on Nepeta’s face.

“OH FUCK ME, YOU’RE STILL PROCESSING ALL OF THIS AND I JUST WENT ON THE MOST MORBID RANT OF ALL TIME, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU,” he cringes.

[nepetaleijon]

"You can't," she insists like she hasn't heard him, "you can't give up, you can't just -- just kn33l down and let them --"

She's shaking suddenly, bristling all over, her claws digging into the wood of the table she's sitting on.

[angrycrabnoises]

“WHOA! FUCK! NEPETA,” Karkat stumbles over and reaches his arms out, letting his hands hover in the air by either side of her shoulders.

“IT’S OKAY, IT’S BETTER THIS WAY ACTUALLY. I’D JUST FUCK UP EVERYTHING IF I GOT INVOLVED,” he stammers reassurances.

[nepetaleijon]

Her eyes squeeze shut, and she reaches up with one hand to grab blindly for his wrist like it's a safety line on a perilous climb. Like if she lets go she'll fall, or he will. She clings, still shaking, rocking a little in place; she isn't shedding tears, but it looks like it's a very near thing.

She doesn't seem convinced that anything at all is better this way.

[angrycrabnoises]

Karkat’s rambling trails off and he just squeezes her wrist back, standing in silence.

He’s realized by now that, whatever has happened, him talking is not helping the situation.

[nepetaleijon]

"I don't --"

Her hand trembles in his grasp.

"I don't want to remembpurr --"

Tw: death mention, PTSD flashbacks

[angrycrabnoises]

Oh.

Oh.

This isn’t even about him. This is something way bigger.

Karkat knew that Nepeta and Equius’ bodies were found together. He knew that. But he hadn’t thought about it. There was too much going on, and it was just one sad thought too many. But now, he’s going to have to deal with it whether he likes it or not.

“YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMEMBER IT RIGHT NOW, OKAY?” he says as softly as his gruff voice can manage. “IT SUCKED, YEAH. BUT IT’S NOT WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE WITH ME ON THE SHIP. HE ISN’T HERE. HE CAN’T HURT YOU.”

[nepetaleijon]

She sniffs hard, swallows. Slowly the trembling starts to subside.

"Okay."

There's a distinct set of claw marks on the table when she lifts her other hand to wipe her eyes, leaving smears of translucent olive-green.