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TEST DRIVE MEME #8
1. but times have changed for sailors these days
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit
[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.
the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...
and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?
yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]
3. that American creation on which I feed
[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.
the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.
the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]
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"Perfectly fine," he insists, and then, after a beat. "Percival Frederickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo the Third." He flashes her a wry smile. "But my friends call me Percy."
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("My brother's went white before twenty...")
Erin does a double take with her leg halfway bandaged and blurts out: "Oh shit, you're that Percy! I might be dating your sister."
(PETERS.)
Shit fuck wait we can salvage that it's not too late -
It's too late. Erin's face turns bright red and her mouth stops producing words entirely.
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He stares blankly at Erin, taking a moment to process all of that. Cassandra. Dating.
And as it starts to sink in, he sputters, stumbling over his words.
"Oh, um, uh." What a way to meet someone. "Just...give me a moment." He holds his hand up, because wow this is a lot. First, waking up on a ship with no recollection of how he got there, finding out his sister was on board said ship but no sign of Vox Machina or anyone from Whitestone, and now finding out his sister might be dating this person?
"Hold on, what do you mean might be dating her?" Okay, maybe that's not the part he should be focusing on. But also, he can't help feeling a bit protective at the moment, and fixes Erin with a solemn expression, as if trying to determine if this is something he should even be meddling with. His sister could date whoever she wants. But, as her brother, and after everything they've been through, can anyone blame him for wanting to vet any potential suitors or suitresses?
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Yep I'm envisioning.
Erin smacks her own cheeks lightly to get a hold of herself and tries flashing a smile. It doesn't work.
"We uh, we met about a month ago and Cass made quite the impression on me. But she hasn't...dated...before, and she's still deciding if she wants to." A beat. "There's been one date? I think?"
Very quickly: "She clearly thinks the world of you though! And I can see why, is weird shit like -" Erin gestures at the store,"- business as usual for you?"
Nailed it!
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But also, consider: trauma.
"Then I don't think it will be at all surprising if I threaten you with bodily harm should you break her heart?" He says almost eerily calmly. Delivered with a casualness reserved for someone who's been both possessed by a demon and tortured by a vampire and a necromancer.
"As for this. It's all in a day's work. Though usually I'm getting paid in coin." Not to mention that coin usually gets split between several other adventurers, all noticeably absent.
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Wondering if she should bring up the massacre and its late guest.
Wondering if that's even her place.