sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #8

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

“YEAH. YOU COULD SAY THAT,” he sighs and tries to formulate an explanation in his head. “TO MAKE A VERY LONG STORY SHORT. THE HUMANS INITIATED THE SCRATCH AND CREATED THE NEW UNIVERSE. THEY GOT SEPARATED, SO STRIDER AND LALONDE ENDED UP WITH ME, TEREZI, KANAYA, AND GAMZEE. TECHNICALLY ARADIA AND SOLLUX ALSO LIVED BUT THEY STAYED BEHIND TO BE CREEPY UNDERWORLD GODS IN THE DREAM BUBBLES FOR SOME FUCKING REASON. SOLLUX USED THE LAST OF HIS STRENGTH TO CATAPULT THE METEOR THROUGH PARADOX SPACE INTO THE NEW UNIVERSE, BUT IT WOULD TAKE ONE AND A HALF SWEEPS TO GET THERE. I’D BEEN THROUGH THE MOST TEDIOUS HALF A SWEEP KNOWN TO TROLLKIND BEFORE WAKING UP HERE.”

In one ear, out the other. Even when he's trying to actively listen, Eridan can't help but let his mind wander back to how this all affects him... But then there's the depressing realization that it doesn't. At all. Even if they weren't doomed(?) offshoots, even if this was a real dream bubble or whatever -- he's dead, and there's no coming back from that.

Pretty much the one thing that does affect him at all is the fact that Sollux fucking survived. And he's back with Aradia, now, too? Like Feferi was nothing! God, that fills him with such rage! It's practically doubled back from black to platonic to black again.

"Of course that piss-blooded wworm livved," he growls. "Ugh. Wwhatevver. Wwhere does he evven get the -- wwhatevver!" He throws his hands up and repeats the word like he isn't the one who needs convincing. "I guess that dumb plan actually wworked after all. Still don't knoww wwhat a fuckin' Scratch is evven supposed t'be, but I guess it doesn't matter wwhat I knoww."

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!” Karkat whips his head towards Eridan and glares daggers at him. “ALL OF THAT, AND ALL YOU COULD THINK OF IS HOW ANNOYING IT IS THAT SOLLUX ISN’T DEAD?? WHAT, YOU WANNA GO TROUNCE RIGHT OFF AND FINISH THE JOB? FUCK YOU. HE’S A PERSON, ERIDAN. HE’S MY FRIEND!”

Fuck, he hadn’t realized how much he missed Sollux until just now.

“YOU CAN CRY SCALEBEAST TEARS AT ME ALL YOU WANT ABOUT HOW YOU’RE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT GUY AND YOU JUST NEED ANOTHER CHANCE, BUT I’VE SEEN WHAT YOU REALLY ARE, AND I'M NOT IMPRESSED."

He jabs a finger towards Eridan. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO ASK WHAT THE SCRATCH WAS EVEN ABOUT BEFORE DECIDING YOUR IDIOTIC GROVELING WOULD WORK BETTER. AND WHEN NOBODY LIKED THAT IDEA - WHICH OBVIOUSLY NO ONE WOULD - YOU JUST HAD TO RUIN EVERYTHING, DIDN'T YOU? YOU KNOW WHY YOU GOT THE TITLE 'THE PRINCE OF HOPE?' IT MEANS DESTROYER OF HOPE. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU DO. YOU DESTROY."

Eridan just kinda stands there and takes it? Not because he deserves it -- obviously, he doesn't, that's not even the discussion here -- but because Karkat is actually angry and Eridan never really knows how to handle Karkat when he's being anything other than amicably rancorous.

He tries to listen, really. Tries to actually internalize something from the shouting. But the more he says, the more biting his commentary, the worse it makes Eridan feel -- and the worse he feels, the less he wants to hear. Especially with that final, full-palm slap of ugly clarity. Karkat calls him the destroyer of hope and all he can think is why? Why the fuck did he have to -- why did he get that title, why was that his thing, and what kind of bullshit game construct develops a class that's designed to ruin everything!

He opens his mouth, ready to snap out that he is a different person, obviously, by virtue of being stuck here for months by himself -- but it's fuckin' pointless.

So instead, he glares at the horizon and destroys a couple more hopes. "Wwell, you're fuckin' stuck here wwith me. Forevver. Until your stupid fuckin' soul or wwhatevver gets sucked into the ship and you turn into a shitty ghost that folds towwels and cleans up after shitty humans. You're nevver goin' home, so evven if your plan wworks so much fuckin' better than mine, you're nevver gonna see it come to fruition."

The words feel good in the grossest possible way. He doesn't bother looking at Karkat. Let the shithead walk off and start tellin' everyone just how shitty he is. It's an easy expectation to live up to.

"Howw's that for the Prince'a Hope?"

Karkat has been aware since the second he shut his mouth that he probably shouldn’t have added that part about Eridan’s title. But in the moment, he was furious and all he could think of was using every weapon in his arsenal to verbally decimate his foe, and the title was the cheapest, quickest way to do it. The final nail in that bulky coffin of Eridan’s massive ego.

Still, the reaction stings.

“FINE,” he glares. “GREAT. I’M STUCK HERE FOREVER. AT LEAST I KNOW THAT THE ONLY FRIENDS I HAVE LEFT ARE GOING SOMEWHERE BETTER THAN ME.” At least that’s one thing he can say he got right, amidst his monumental pile of screw-ups.

“AND FOR WHAT IT’S WORTH, THE PLAN DID WORK. WHICH, IF YOU’D BOTHERED TO LISTEN TO A SINGLE FUCKING THING I SAID, YOU’D KNOW ALREADY.”

Until they die, too, because the whole fucking plan is stupid and pointless, and everyone knows the more convoluted a plan gets, the more likely it's going to go wrong! That's why his plan was better, because it was simple. It only relied on one unknown factor and that was a psychopathic woofbeast. Not asteroids or Sollux or dream bubbles or scratches.

So much for Keep It Simple, Stupid.

"And noww wwhat? You're all hurtlin' through the space between sessions, about to go an' wwreck some other group's chances at makin' a decent univverse?" An eyeroll. "Cool. More people to sacrifice to Fef's creepy fuckin' gods of the furthest goddamn ring. Wwould'a been better if wwe'd all just offed ourselvves wwhen wwe had the chance."

Somehow, that hits way harder.
A wave of dread swells through Karkat’s body.

Anyone would expect further shouting from him, but it doesn’t come.

“. . .FUCK YOU,” Karkat rasps under his breath. He turns and beelines off the deck back into the interior of the ship, covering his face so no one can see the red tears leaking from his eyes.

He hadn't even been trying, that time.

Karkat bolting from his presence is somehow more of a punch to the gut than the split-second of guilt he'd felt after murdering Kan. It sure as shit proves Karkat's point, though, doesn't it? Ruining hope really is all he's good at.

At least he's self-aware enough to know not to chase after him. Not... not right away. He'll give him a couple of hours to... cool off. Or something.

(It will probably be days before Eridan works up the courage to try talking to Karkat again.)

TEST DRIVE MEME #8

I messed up the “sweeps” thing earlier. He’s been on the trip for a year, it’s a 3 year trip

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cw: suicidal ideation (something is wrong with these children)

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