TEST DRIVE MEME #8

[sailmods]

1. but times have changed for sailors these days

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. tried to amend my carnivorous habit

[the space inside John's where the piano normally sits is mysteriously vacant today. as a matter of fact, the entire piano bar is silent, without so much as a muzak-inspired interpretation of Uptown Girl to hum along to.

the piano itself seems to have disappeared... for the most part. unlucky, unsuspecting passengers who enter the cabin hallway, step out onto the lower decks, or find themselves in one of the other narrow corridors of the ship, may find themselves suddenly facing down a silent, unmoving grand piano. it takes up too much space to squeeze by comfortably...

and then, the cover lifts, exposing what looks to be... teeth?

yeah. yeah, those are its teeth. and it's coming right for you.]

3. that American creation on which I feed

[it had been a difficult October for bahamanuel, the bahamanal. its territory had changed utterly, becoming alien and strange. new predators were encroaching on its hunting grounds. its position in the natural order is under threat. and so, nature finds a way.

the old timers know to be wary of large piles of clothes, but even they won’t think to look twice at the tiny lumps of garish kids’ swimsuits and sundresses - until they feel something latch onto their leg, and then several more things, and anywhere from ten to twenty balled up clothes piles try to take down their prey.

the young must learn how to hunt, after all.]

Comments

[maximumcake]

His hand squeezes the back of his neck so hard it pulls his jaw tight. Another name. He had another name, once. It doesn't feel like his anymore. He couldn't go back to that...not now. That innocent college kid is dead. He's gone.

"N-no. Max is fine." Max is who he is now. He can't run from that.

"No one really gave me a tour. I've tried to explore a little on my own but I haven't gotten very far."

[redlightgreenlight]

"Well, it's a large space, but one you can learn to navigate quickly. I can show you around."

This man clearly had a rough time of it, even with his devotion to his master, she believes his life had not been happy.

"There's also a wedding tomorrow, lots of people here are more than human, but I think all of us have promised to not ruin it. Just stick by me if anything happens."

[crushed_pearls]

"At times, but between art and high intensity combat would you believe they rarely have time to plan their own parties?" Erin's smile is warm. "Luckily they live in a society. Beautiful how that works out. Mister Maximum...do ask Friday some time, about that kitchen. I'd be delighted to share in your art."

Erin offers a hand to shake; a polite sign that she is, perhaps, done with company however pleasing it's been.

[theturksway]

[Well,] Shit!

[No time to protest. He goes through the portal with Demyx and hopes they make it through the other side. And that he's not, like, burnt to a crisp or whatever it is that's bad about these things.

His grip tightens on Demyx's as they weave through the darkness. He doesn't know how long this will take. But he knows one thing for certain: he's not letting go of Demyx's hand. Not after that warning.]

[melodiouspacifist]

[ Portals are dark and scary and horribly tempting and a good way to lose one's heart, but it's not even going to be a minute before they're spit out onto the deck, and Demyx skids a little bit, but not quick enough to avoid banging into the railing. Ow.

Behind them the portal will vanish because leaving them open is a worse idea then pulling innocent people through them. He turns his attention to Reno and exhales. He looks fine. Is he fine? Probably. Right. ]

That was close! [ He drops his hand and offers a sheepish little smile. Should they do something about the crazy man-eating piano? ]

[theturksway]

[Reno didn't far much better beside Demyx, but at least he managed not to barrel into Demyx and he caught the railing with his free hand. He still impacted it with his hip, too, but at least he didn't go head over heel into the water below.

Hand now free, he turned his back to the railing and leaned back into it, flopping half bonelessly into the position. He cocked his head towards Demyx and gave him a flat look.]

Yeah, and real fun. [/sarcasm]

The heck was going on back there? [He glanced around briefly.] Where are we now anyway?

[The deck was obvious but he was looking for signs to tell him which part of it they'd gotten to. Wondering how far away they were from the...creature? animated furniture? He's not sure what it was.]

[melodiouspacifist]

[ So much fun. ] Hey, I didn't do anything to make it try and eat me!

[ Reno was just collateral damage. ] I dunno, I was getting around this weird hallway piano and it tried to eat my hand. What, am I supposed to let it do that?

[ Definitely not, in his opinion. He leans against the railing, mirroring Reno's position somewhat and he tilted his head back to look around. ]

Uhhhh...somewhere on the deck. [ Nailed it. ] That thing isn't going to find us here. Probably. [ He doesn't exactly sound confident about that, but maybe it will eat someone else and stop looking for them. ]

[twelvesteps]

[ in another time mitchell would've laughed it off and tried to play it cool. maybe would've made a joke about how he was just looking for a cup of coffee, that's all. ha ha ha. nothing to see here! etc.

he can see there's no point in that, though. he doesn't even want to waste the effort to pretend he hasn't just been got, especially considering he can sense something off about this kid. he's not like the vampires mitchell's familiar with, but he's definitely not human.

then, obviously, if he can't play it off the only other option is melodrama. ]

Have you ever seen them feed the tigers at the zoo? [ he turns to face the kid, still scowling. ] They'll eat their bucket of supermarket meat, yeah. They'll have their frozen steak. That doesn't mean given the choice they wouldn't still eat you instead.

[ give predators an inch and they'll slaughter the entire fucking cruise ship. it's inevitable. this blood dispenser is their bucket of thawed filets. ]

[twelvesteps]

Oh, it's a girl with animal ears. Of course. At least she's better than the creepy woman without a face.

Mitchell turns to face her with a scowl. It's really sort of his default expression, though in this instance it's much more severe than it normally would be.

"Yeah, I do," he says. "I fucking died. This is some version of purgatory. It has to be."

[maximumcake]

Over a hundred...wow.

[He may not understand the context of living at the top of the Tower, but he can understand the general sentiment, he thinks. He's less sure about the rest but it's clearly some kind of military.]

You must come from somewhere that's way more advanced if you're already all living in space and on different planets. I'm really impressed.

[theturksway]

No, dumbass. But what the hell is a hand-eating piano doing on this ship? Is that normal?

[Don't sass him! He will sass right back. He shook his head and peered at a door down the wall of the ship off to the left. He couldn't quite make out what it said but he was beginning to think they were close to the front of the ship. He glanced down at the water to see if he could see waves from the back of the boat to confirm this.

Then got distracted by Demyx's last comment. Yeah. Probably. He looked at Demyx.]

We don't know that for certain. You think it's gonna stop looking for a snack? You think it'll eat someone else?

[Reno was debating whether he cared or not. Probably not. Unless he was convinced to.]

[maximumcake]

continued HERE

[neverleave]

[Definitely melodramatic. Natsuno, unimpressed teen that he is, rolls his eyes. He hates it when vampires compare themselves to predators - parasites is more like it.]

Try it here and you'll either get blown into bits with magic, or face the people you've eaten when they come back the next day. Not to mention all their pissed off friends.

[astrogator]

[She hasn't had many people react to her that way, so this makes her smile.]

It was all just ordinary to me, but the technology here isn't what I'm used to, it's true. Your people stayed on their homeworld? [She almost asks if it was this 'Earth' so many of the others seem to come from, but holds back, because it'll confuse him all the more if that isn't the case.]

[melodiouspacifist]

How should I know?!

[ He'll sass him alright, whatever, who put Demyx in charge of weird ship curiosities? No one. He has no idea but here they were stuck on a ship with a piano that tried to eat passersby. ]

Uh, well..it might? [ Is that really their problem though? Seems like something someone else could handle really. After all there has to be a hero around somewhere right? Ugh. ]

...Do you think we should do something about it? [ There's a slight whine in his tone, why did he have to stumble on the dangerous thing? The internal debate was strong, Reno shouldn't rely on his moral compass. ]

[theturksway]

Uuugh!

[Reno rolled his eyes into the back of his head as he tossed his head back and leaned so heavily over the railing it looked as though he might fall over backwards from it. He slumped back forward after a second, shoulders limp and somehow distinctly resigned looking.]

Why does it always gotta be my job to handle the crazy shit?

[Probably because he liked the thrill of it so much. Every Turk knew how crazy he was, it was only natural he get stuck with it when he always whined about the mundane stuff.]

All right, fine. Let's find the damn thing and take it out. If we don't, it'll probably just get in our way later once it's done snacking on everyone else.

[glittering_gleam]

Goldenglow shakes her head vigorously. "Can't be. I was just between customers at work, sweeping the floor a little bit, then I blinked and I woke up here. And if I'm alive and here, there's no reason to think you'd have to be dead to come, is there?"

[melodiouspacifist]

Wait, why do I have to come? [ No one said he did but- ]

[ He might complain, but with a groan he pushes himself off the railing to walk with Reno back towards where he found the man-eating piano in the first place. ]

This thing better not be hard to beat. I hate fighting.

[ He'd rather avoid it, but once he gets into the swing and decides to fight it's fine. ]

[theturksway]

[Because Reno worked best with a partner, but he was not going to say that out loud. He was also not going to admit aloud that he enjoyed working with Demyx or that they worked well together. Well, okay, he'd say that last one out loud after they won another battle together. That was just boasting.]

How hard can it be to beat a piano? [Don't answer that.] A few broken legs oughta at least keep it out of harm's way. Bash it's keys in for good measure.

[As they neared the hallway, Reno drew his baton out. Time for business.]

[melodiouspacifist]

Probably depends on what's making it try and eat people. [ Serious answer. ]

[ Well, if Reno's going to arm himself, he's not the only one. Demyx holds out a hand and water seems to swirl in out of nowhere until his sitar appears, which he catches deftly by the neck. ]

Seems wrong to beat up a musical instrument. [ Says the guy who is going to use a sitar to beat it with. ]

[theturksway]

[Don't give him that serious crap.

But actually that was a legit assessment. Reno frowned slightly as he considered it. They weren't going to find an answer without looking for one though and they didn't have time for that. Or, Reno didn't feel like taking the time for it. He'd rather just beat the thing and kill it first. Then investigate if needed.

Reno glanced over at Demyx and his water sitar.]

Yeah, a real shame.

[He let the sarcasm drip to the floor before continuing down the hallway. He heard sounds ahead and stopped to signal. A second passed and he glanced at Demyx belatedly, realizing this wasn't like working with Rude who knew all his hand signals and non-verbal messages. He made a more obvious gesture of pointing to his himself, then his ears, and then down the hallway. I hear it down the hallway.

He started slowly forward, checking doors along the way to make certain nothing was hiding in the rooms to startle them.]

[melodiouspacifist]

[ The banter is probably more fun than the fight itself is going to be, but at the very clear gestures, Demyx shuts it. This isn't his first mission after all, he's hardly some inexperienced newly formed Nobody.

He walks with Reno, quietly masking his steps when he can, peering down the hall and getting the doors on his side.

From what it looks like the piano seems to have reset itself back to where it had been, in a narrow hallway with barely room to squeeze around it. It's not exactly the most ideal place to fight either. ]

[maximumcake]

Reluctantly, he sits back down, but he's no longer letting himself slouch.

"You must be very well-loved by your people," he says. With an attitude toward power like hers, how can she not be?

"Thank you for you kindness."

[maximumcake]

He swallows down a litany of protests about how a queen shouldn't be showing the likes of him around for a tour and how he is hardly worth her time but... that feels so much like talking back he can't bring himself to do it, so he nods instead and comes to stand at her side.

"A wedding? Here?" That is surprisingly encouraging. "Should I really go to it if I don't know the people getting married? Unless... you're inviting me as your plus one?"

[maximumcake]

"I'll ask her." He'll find the courage, if only because that feels a lot less like a suggestion and almost like an order now.

He grips her hand and gives her a firm and professionally short handshake. That social cue is crystal clear to him, and he's happy to heed it.

"Thank you, Erin. I hope to see you around."