TEST DRIVE MEME #6

[sailmods]

1. took a time-traveling ride

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! I'm so happy you could join us!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. so many dragons lurking out in the fog

[the cabins closest to the laundry room door will notice first. the steady hums and thuds of the machines, muffled by walls, are growing louder and louder, until it almost sounds like someone is bashing them against the wall. soapy water leaks from under the closed door, drips from the sides.

until someone is dumb enough to open it.

it’s a flash flood of detergent, a wave of foam and hot water feet high spilling forth and bringing down and along anything caught in its path. you’d think it would be a quick burst, that once whatever had built up in the room was released, the torrent would subside. but, it doesn’t. and a river of half-washed socks overtakes the hallways.]

3. I need protection from the things in my head

[The Infinite Tommy Bahama, everyone’s favorite destination for laid-back island sophistication, is a bit of an odd duck on the Promenade. and not just because it’s seemingly shoved between two extant locales, or because it’s a clothing store among bars and restaurants. for some reason, the unseen spirits that attend the other bars and shops, doing the routine duties necessary to keep such places running, seem to avoid this one, and it shows. clothes that are taken off the racks are not put back on again, leaving increasingly large piles of floral print and polyester blends in every aisle.

and that is where he is born.

there’s just so many piles. and they all look pretty much the same, each as tacky as the one next to it. it would be hard to notice that one has moved while your back was turned to it. difficult to realize that a singular pile has started stalking you through the stacks and racks. until it’s too late to turn back, until you’ve lost sight of the entrance, and the piles of discarded slacks and blazers seem to conglomerate into one massive beast, which rises from the polished wood floors and throws its weight upon its hapless victim.

the bahamanal strikes.]

Comments

1

[skaikru]

( overboard, huh? so he's already made his way out of his room, up the decks, and through the lifejacket training where his feet will summarily become unglued and he has free reign of the upper deck. and is, more accurately, fresh meat for the serena eterna veterans.

the letter's of little importance, gal friday's script hasn't gone through many revisions (just the one, really) and can be summarized and challenged by almost any existing passenger here. tossing it away can be forgiven, but before any further littering in the sea, a voice down the railing pipes up. )

Just don't throw the lei. You might need it some day.

[argonautai]

This thing?

[ that garners a reaction from him, his fingers lacing threw a few petals and blossoms carelessly. ]

I kind of like it, if I'm being honest. Dunno why I'd ever need it, though. You know something I don't?

[skaikru]

( the leis are not pretty, ornate things. they'd strands of lotus seed pods, rooster feathers, and what may or may not be human bone — decorative, but morbid and rattling. it'd be a completely understandable instinct to take them off and throw them in a trash or the gently moving water below them. a very human thing to do.

but 6+ months on a cruise liner from hell that keeps ya guessing and feels like a wheel intent on crushing you, and one picks up a few things. )

I probably know a lot of things you don't. You're new here.

[argonautai]

[ he's very new here. and it's probably evident even moreso in the fact that he doesn't really give a shit about the leis. they're...fun! to him, at least. he's taken nastier trophies, and it simply takes a lot to faze a man that's spent the majority of his life travailing the ocean and dealing with the gods on a daily basis.

but as for this situation, where he's on-board a ship he isn't captaining... he's far too curious and a bit demanding about who is captain and crew here. ]

Fresh to this craft, but not the seas. You've experience here, no doubt? Do you know the so-called captain?

[skaikru]

( you know what....... clarke'd take demanding over fretting, weeping, or compartmentalizing to the point of denial any day. so if any of that leaks through with the curiosity, she's ultimately unphased. just shrugs, like one does when intent on letting the worst parts of their lives roll of their shoulder. )

A bit. And we've all seen him once or twice. Average height, top hat, sometimes just a swirl of smoke and shadows, temperament of a child, fuels this craft — it's called a cruise ship, by the way, like a small city that floats — with magic derived from our suffering and deaths, loves movies, infuriating to talk to, and wants to become a god.

[argonautai]

Practically an apparition, then.

[ god... "cruise ship" is a term he's heard more than once today, and he does not like it, unfortunately. he wrinkles his nose when clarke mentions it. ]

I know well and good what a ship is, but this whole...cruise thing. I don't care for it. Seems like a cursed ship above all else, from your description.

[ he has experience with cursed ships, unfortunately. ]

Has anyone looked into getting this thing cleansed? I know a gal.

[ can we take a detour toward a sorceress?? ]

[skaikru]

( the weird head-tilt-shoulder-shrug combo she makes in response to "cursed ship" is all the affirmation clarke initially offers. because it's complicated, right? the halls are well painted masterpieces of an old world by her standards, and the entire ship is bedecked with luxurious amenities (shops, laundry machines, endless supplies of food, on demand showers and free flowing drinking water, constantly restocking medicines, clothes that weren't spun out of hard-won leather or 100 year old hand me downs, etc — swimming pools, casinos, and bars are also new to her but less marveled at) she'd never seen before walking past them. but they are still asked, practically commanded, to suffer and die on a semi-regular basis in order to keep the lights on.

and this has been happening for far longer than either her or jason's existence on the serena eterna. decades at least. centuries... who knew? )

I think the only way to cleanse it would be to completely obliterate it from reality. But every time it's sunk, it's come back.

( the more sorceresses the better tho, and maybe next time they could try just blowing it up. )

So — want a tour?

[argonautai]

Ugly. It just won't go down, huh? Well, I suppose I can't blame it if it's carrying so many passengers just looking for a cruise.

[ he's legitimately considering this entire situation for a second, because it doesn't feel like a singularity to him, but it's still... weird. ]

We're not on a ship to the afterlife, are we now?

[ there's a short, nervous laugh before he finally shrugs, tossing a hand. ]

—But yes, yes, of course. If I'm going to be aboard a ship, I want to be intimately familiar with it. Preferably the crew as well, but...

[ he trails off, sort of waving his hands. it already seems like that's going to be difficult, given the captain's standing. not that jason's going to give up. ]

Just tell me the gist of what you know of them, I suppose.

[skaikru]

( it's the nerves so reedy and rising to the top of that laugh that cuts off the dreadful, borderline sardonic response — it's not, not a ship in the afterlife — that hangs on the tip of her tongue. grim humor can see people through a lot of things, but it's a lot to lay on the head of someone who doesn't even know the history of what this batch of passengers has been through, and she needs to remember to temper that.

so her teeth click shut rather suddenly. she puts her best effort into smiling, and half turns towards the rest of the deck beyond the muster drill station. they can walk and talk. )

The crew? It's made up entirely by shades of the passengers who came before us. ( still droll and glib, but at least no a joke. not an ounce of humor, really, for that's their ultimate fate as well. ) ...the ghosts of the people here before us, I mean. They bring the food we eat, they clean our messes and serve our drinks and restock the stores. You'll never really see them, and the door to their quarters is impenetrable. We don't actually know a lot about them at all, no one talks about them like they're people anymore.

[argonautai]

[ he raises a brow, sensing something a bit amiss about miss clarke's smile...but nonetheless, he's here for the tour and by damn is he going to get it. he folds his arms across his chest and follows alongside her past the drill station he'd oh so recently been through, tilting his head at her explanation. ]

More ghosts... So we're most certainly haunted.

[ not too bothersome, although he would never settle for his own vessel to be haunted. it doesn't sound too awful at her explanation, however — working instead of trying to kill them? ]

Benevolent for the most part, I take it? [ a beat, as he thinks about it— ] Do they expect compensation?

[ he really doesn't want to piss off any ghosts. ]

[skaikru]

They haven't so far.

( inb4: the great ghost strike of october 2022. )

My understanding is enough of their souls have been stripped away that they're not much of anything anymore. Not much of anyone, and not good for much besides carrying trays and cleaning up messes. At least — the necromancer and various magicians on board haven't said they felt anything specific from them.

[argonautai]

A necromancer and magicians, huh?

[ he claps his hands together, sounding a little excited. ]

What of their names? I'd like to familiarize myself with such types aboard this ship. Especially given the... [ he waves a hand hesitantly ] ...ghosts, and all that.

[skaikru]

...oh.

( most of the time she plays names and capabilities close to the chest, treating a lot of the tenuous connections made here like personal weapons hidden in a tactical vest. but.

visibly tentative, blood from a particularly reluctant stone, etc etc. )

Palamedes Sextus. And then there's a lot of magicians: Skulduggery Pleasant, Jade Curtiss, Ebalon — ( tone and facial contortion alone denotes this one's a less that companionable option. ) — Rita Mordio...

[argonautai]

[ he caugh that. ]

Okay, so: Favorite magician. Or two of them, perhaps. I need to narrow it all down, after all.

[ still, he's fairly curious. ]

If you've any warning for me regarding them as well, I'd also appreciate those. Too often have I been misguided by such types.

[skaikru]

( well, her favorite of that list is pal, but clarke still draws the line between inherent necromantic powers and whatever the hell the rest of them do pretty boldly. so give her a moment to think and... )

Curtiss and Mordio, then. He's disconcertingly cheery and will talk your ear off, but perfectly competent. Six foot, long hair, red eyes, and glasses. She's got the personality of a particularly argumentative rock but, again, knows what she's doing and has been here from the start. Short, with short reddish hair, probably yelling at something.

Skulduggery's a skeleton, you can't miss him. He's also exceptionally smart, don't fault any of the math or rules that come out of his mouth, but sometimes he keeps secrets. ( including her own, but we're not talking about clarke griffin right now, are we jason? she's completely boring and human, with no grander ideals of stealing peoples magic. don't worry about it. )

And Ebalon's a "reforming" psychopath. ( how much DOUBT can one shove into a single word... ) But powerful, with healing magic. He dropped the entire moon on a guy once just to kill him, and the guy wasn't even putting up a fight.