TEST DRIVE MEME #5

[sailmods]

1. not subtle revealings

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

[the reflections are missing. all of them. in mirrors. in television screens. on the backs of spoons. nothing looks back at you.

then, figures do show up. not your own, like you'd expect. thin, wispy apparitions, people with pleading eyes and hands, reaching out to place their palms against the surface, from their own end. faces familiar and not, beckoning, mouthing words you just can't quite make out. help me, it might be. get me out, perhaps. just until you're close enough, until your skin warms the surface of whatever it is you're peering into. and then, those same hands wrap, all too real, burning-cold against your flesh, and pull, trying to drag you through the surface, making up for their lack of strength with desperation. any flesh unlucky enough to enter the reflection comes back bone-white and cold, all sensation dead, though it will fade within a few hours.

in retrospect, it looks a bit more like they were saying something different. something more like, better you than me. or maybe it's not even words at all. they look a bit more like they're laughing.]

3. complex mementos

[but, hey. sometimes changes are good! like, today, in Playback, there's a brand-new game available for all the children to play! it's an old-fashioned sort of claw machine, the type that's so large, a particularly dedicated kindergartner could wriggle their way inside. the prizes vary, and sit loose: bags of candy, stuffed toys, firearms, painfully early-00s electronics, actually that one just looks like a dead iguana, tiny ship-branded knickknacks... like all the other games in the arcade, the game starts up automatically upon being touched; lack of quarters shouldn't keep you from having fun! pro tip: they are loaded, and they will go off if you suck at claw games and let it fall.]

Comments

[dontcomeback]

Viggo narrows his eyes curiously. That's definitely not anywhere near what's happening to him. He takes another drink of the whiskey.

At the question he pauses for just a brief second, then shakes his head. Christina isn't a ghost. She's just his mind playing tricks on him. He glances around himself, half expecting her to turn up, but no, nothing there.

He's half tempted to share, given it's probably unlikely Klaus will doubt him or call him out, given everything he's been saying. But the only person Viggo has ever mentioned it to was a man he seconds later shot to death. So.

Instead he looks over at Klaus. "No offense, but you're aware how crazy you sound, right?" he asks casually, no actual real judgement in his voice.

[busball]

That gets a laugh from Klaus and he takes another sip of his drink. "Buddy, if you only knew. I have said crazier things than this." He shrugs, though, still unphased by how weird everything about his life is.

"If you think those powers are weird, you should hear about my brother Ben. He's got a eldritch creature in his bellybutton, okay? Tentacles. He slapped me with a tentacle once. And his hands, too." He looks around, wishing for a moment that Ben would be there. Even if it was dick!Ben. "Kind of miss that little asshole," he says quietly.

"Anyway. I grew up in a family of childhood superheroes. There were seven of us. Are seven of us? We've picked up extras now. Anyway. I have five brothers and a sister. All born on the same day to mothers who weren't pregnant until that day. Then our dad bought seven of us. He's kind of a dick, though. But like...little dick energy if you feel me."

[dontcomeback]

Viggo just smiles and shakes his head in amusement. He is fully assuming he's just dreaming, or in a coma, or he's lost it. He's just gonna take it in stride. It'll be over eventually.

He's not sure if getting drunk will even work, but he agrees with Klaus that it's a decent idea to try. He gets back over the counter, grabbing the bottle and the glass, and going to sit down.

"Yeah, I figure you'd have to be a dick to buy children. Or really desperate," he answers. Though rare, he's encountered well-meaning people who adopted illegally from other countries, which did more or less amount to buying them.

[busball]

Klaus is currently unaware of just how weird this is for people with normal lives, but at the same time, it’s just one of those things he’s lived with so long, it feels painfully normal.

Once again, Klaus scrambles over the counter with very limited grace, but he makes it without incident. He’s just going to take this mystery cocktail with him and sit down next to Viggo.

“I guess adoption happens every day, but…” He gestures vaguely. “He is a dick.” His latest experience with the old man hits a lot harder than he wants to acknowledge or even squint too hard at. “But that’s rich people for you. Am I right?”