TEST DRIVE MEME #5

[sailmods]

1. not subtle revealings

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling

[the reflections are missing. all of them. in mirrors. in television screens. on the backs of spoons. nothing looks back at you.

then, figures do show up. not your own, like you'd expect. thin, wispy apparitions, people with pleading eyes and hands, reaching out to place their palms against the surface, from their own end. faces familiar and not, beckoning, mouthing words you just can't quite make out. help me, it might be. get me out, perhaps. just until you're close enough, until your skin warms the surface of whatever it is you're peering into. and then, those same hands wrap, all too real, burning-cold against your flesh, and pull, trying to drag you through the surface, making up for their lack of strength with desperation. any flesh unlucky enough to enter the reflection comes back bone-white and cold, all sensation dead, though it will fade within a few hours.

in retrospect, it looks a bit more like they were saying something different. something more like, better you than me. or maybe it's not even words at all. they look a bit more like they're laughing.]

3. complex mementos

[but, hey. sometimes changes are good! like, today, in Playback, there's a brand-new game available for all the children to play! it's an old-fashioned sort of claw machine, the type that's so large, a particularly dedicated kindergartner could wriggle their way inside. the prizes vary, and sit loose: bags of candy, stuffed toys, firearms, painfully early-00s electronics, actually that one just looks like a dead iguana, tiny ship-branded knickknacks... like all the other games in the arcade, the game starts up automatically upon being touched; lack of quarters shouldn't keep you from having fun! pro tip: they are loaded, and they will go off if you suck at claw games and let it fall.]

Comments

[konpeito_aji]

Oh.

That explained a lot, actually.

Exasperated, Nobunaga just re-sheathes. AGAIN. Though he is actually amused by the overcompensating insinuation. Nice. He actually hasn't heard that one, listen it's the 1500s and no one wastes time on banter in Japan. And also... no one would waste banter on Oda Nobuanga. He might have to use that line on Kenshin sometime to see if he can get a couple of laughs.

"Why didn't you just SAY SO?" That he was a pirate. Pirates are... of course they give no damns. "Oh, you're a literate pirate? Well done." No, he means that genuinely. Most Japanese pirates... aren't. And the ones who accidentally wash up on Oda's shores, definitely aren't.

And then there's a REALLY long beat. "How the hell did they kidnap you? From a ship?"

The same way they kidnapped Nobunaga, obviously. Why would pirates magically be immune, just because it's on sea, and they're used to the sea? Okay, Oda will admit, that was a stupid question. "Stupid question, better one: is this really the North Atlantic ocean?"

Look you can give him the location to books... or suffer a million, billion, trillion, infinite questions.

"Do you even know what the North Atlantic ocean is like? Do you know what this ocean is? What's a Viking? And why are they being repulsive?" a gesture to the cover. Not that sex is gross, just lewd covers to books instead of general wood carvings or other works of art is well, repulsive to him. Because it reminds him of the kama sutra and other monk-stuff.

The only problem with Stede letting it known he was a pirate captain is....

This is how Nobunaga treats pirates. Like AskJeeves in the early 2000s. "Hey hey, how far have you traveled?"

He's like... an absolute child.

[konpeito_aji]

No. [He's in long sleeves, and completely decked out in Japanese full plate mail lobster armor, and with an additional falconry gauntlet on one arm. Truly, he cannot notice the cold, whether that was true or not. But he chooses to believe.]

[.... He literally shudders at being called "your majesty" though. That's the exactly wrong intonation. Demon King is NOT a title of respect and royalty.]

[First off, he doesn't want to fight his way off the ship. He'd loved to just... never have to go deal with hell and demons again, thanks.]

[Secondly, he kind of feels like he should mansplain explain actual tactics to her, but he assumes her point is the last part of that, to enjoy himself.]

[He's... He's not allowed to enjoy himself. That's what being the Demon King means.]

I don't need free food. [There's no such thing as free food. Someone is paying for it somehow. Someone has to grow it, harvest it, prepare it. Everything has a cost. He's keenly aware of this, especially in an era where if he himself isn't careful, the whole country could starve.]

[But moving right along...]

It's not that I wish to escape.

[Well he does... but it's more like... he'd have escaped to... here. This kind of freedom???]

[He doesn't want to escape his escape.]

[....]

[He has a mental image of Hideyoshi completely freaking out when they find out he's missing.]

Forget my concerns. You. Are you truly so free you can enjoy this with no worries?

[Oh right. Normally people introduce themselves to get names.]

[Well, whatever. She'd give it if she wanted to.]

[skaikru]

( her metric of yeah, okay, this is real despite having never encountered it in all my life before setting foot on this boat easily accepts that he's a ghost. not the first dead/undead teen she's even encountered here, not the wildest thing she's seen, not on par with the walking talking skeleton named skulduggery pleasant. but coming from a strictly sci-fi upbringing, clarke still watches the flesh of his hand fade to the point she can see people on the deck beyond through his literal fingers with an air of bewilderment. maybe a hint of discomfort, but it's quickly smothered in the name of forward progress.

clarke nods, files away any spooky shivers running up her spine to be addressed later (aka never). )

Right. So you're ready to accept a lot of things about death and magic here really quickly, right? It'd save us some time.

[configuration_birdwatcher]

// Correct. Bastion steps through the doorway and puts on a hat as a demonstration. It has a picture of a flamingo drinking a cocktail embroidered on it.

// I haven't seen multiple floors, but it extends in length and width. I recommend walking in a straight line from the entrance to avoid getting lost.

[latersgators]

"Nothing happened!" Apart from Steven throwing a toilet roll at Erik and him chucking it back angrily. And Steven being too polite to try and shake Erik off, hence the awkward bringing him home and tea-making.

"He didn't have a reflection. And then I didn't have one either." Steven didn't really see the faces, so he can't comment.

"Here. Tea's ready." Maybe they can just drink in extended pregnant silence and not talk until Erik decides to go away and leave Steven alone. Wouldn't that be lovely?!

[tempingainteasy]

[And she'd ask for his if she cared! It levels out.]

[April seems to have struck some kind of reaction with their comment, but they don't care enough to pry. Just enough to mark down that it bothers him, though, so they have a go-to id he ever annoys them.]

[Anyway, they have fun opening and closing the little umbrella while the guy figures out how to deflect, and nods, more of a show of listening than agreement.]

There is a whole lot of annoying, gruelling work to be done in a place that is cramped, artificially over-lit, and unchanging, with people who are at best dull and at worst, annoying and insufferable. And there's ants.

So my options are: stay here above ground, drink during the day, be entertained at night, and never need to talk to coworkers or the general public again. Or, find a way off this massive luxury ship where all my needs are met - a way off that will be hard won going by the power on display here - and return to my life of making barely above minimum wage with no benefits in an endless 9-5 job behind the proverbial gates of hell, in a province that I swear to god is frozen half the year and has an honest to god polar bear problem.

[April shrugs and flicks the umbrella away.]

So yeah, maybe there is a catch somewhere, but until I run into that personally, I figure I'll enjoy my first real vacation in decades while I can.

How about you?

[konpeito_aji]

[Rewind. Too many words he doesn't know in there.]

What is... minimum wage? 9 to 5 job? ... Polar bear? [He mouths it uncertainly. Polar. Polar. What's it mean? Not panda. Polar. Is it a country? It must be. Somewhere along the North Atlantic like Vancouver and Baffin Island? Ahhhh that's so exciting!]

[He doesn't want to answer the question, because like he said... Demons to conquer. And it's not that he wants to. It's actually a total pain. But someone has to, and he's the only one insane enough, ruthless enough, evil enough etc. Etc.]

[So he just makes an indifferent note. For now.]

[myagic]

[Theoretically, anyone can use magic as long as they have a bodhi blastia--but such blastia aren't actually that commonplace, and there's certainly far more people in the world who don't have one.

Well, anyway...hm. She supposes there's no harm in trying, if he's offering. She doesn't plan to get her hopes up, though.]

If you're serious, then... What does this "cultivating" entail?

[serialskiller]

"It's a huge flying lizard." Not really, that's an inaccurate description, but it's going to get the idea across. "A dinosaur. They existed on Earth before humans did."

It's not sure how useful this is--or even that this guy is from Earth to begin with. Lots of people on the ship (including it, honestly) have never seen Earth, don't have a strong connection with it.

[konpeito_aji]

"Dinosaur." His eyes widen. He is from Earth, yes. Just from before the 1800s when paleontology really took off as a thing.

"And the others are other dinosaurs? Giant pre-human lizards?" Sugoi... "Does that mean dragons were real?" He can't help his scoffing tone, but his inner child (... outer child???) is having a blast! "Or Ki-Rin? Wait, do you know all their shapes?" EYES WIDE! Yes, total child here.

[tempingainteasy]

[For a moment, April's face is as blank as Friday's. Figuratively? Ehhh... The shades help.]

[But they recover quickly, lifting a hand and counting each question with a finger:]

The minimum amount I am allowed to be compensated for my labour, the hours of the day I am expected to work (but also a turn of phrase for a regular day job with that same range of hours you go for to 5 days a week, with no variation), a large white carnivorous bear, like really large, generally eats seals but is not above preying on humans and pets if the hunting is extremely poor.

[It seems expressing their point is where April decides to be accurate with their information.

April doesn't say 'anything else?' but like her face, it's sort of implied to be there and up to the observer to recognize.]

[konpeito_aji]

[Oh yeah, there's more. He's not about to have an end to his questions any time soon, and if he was not a self-proclaimed Demon King, he'd be somewhat apologetic about it, but he's grateful to be humored all the same.]

[Five days a week.]

[So like a slave, but not?]

Who mandates it? Government??? Lords?

[His eyes widen about the seal-eating bear.]

[And he goes back to the railing as if he will SUDDENLY FIND A POLAR BEAR out of nowhere.] Truly?! [He's excited. He wants to hunt one.] How big are they? They are so bold they come to villages??? Or do you mean humans wander into their territory? How wide is their territory? [SO EXCITED AHHHHHH!]

Who's your employer? Why do they lack incentive to do better? Wait... what is it you said you do again? [Artificially over-illuminated dungeon with ants.]

[And she doesn't want to deal with the wider public. And dull coworkers - which could be most people.]

[So...?]

[He assumes not torturing, because that's better done with darkness and dank, fears and not tedium. Also what would even be the demand for it? It's a pretty specialized field.]

[winepouring]

[ Wow... She's actually interested!! Maybe it isn't so surprising; she comes from a place where no-one can use magic on their own, and now he's offering an option to make that possible. (Does this mean she doesn't see him as a conman anymore?!) ]

It involves cultivating spiritual power. [ It seems obvious that, with such a vague term, she wouldn't understand, so he clarifies the most important part first! ] It's not just about being able to create spells; it's also to improve your health and longevity. So, you would also practice meditation and martial arts, building your base and learning to control the flow of spiritual power, and then start learning how to create spells. Spells actually comes much later. Forcing yourself to go too fast is bad for your health.

[ He nods in a rather exaggerated manner, as though he has never personally encountered this issue but still knows to take it very seriously. ]

[myagic]

[The...the question of whether or not he's a conman hasn't been settled yet!! She's totally just...humouring him okok!! (Okay she's interested. Kind of!!)

Except--any curiosity on her part quickly turns to distaste. Spiritual growth and martial arts? Gross.]

...On second thought, I'll pass. Compared to blastia, that's just...boring.

[She makes that proclamation very bluntly. Blastia are simply too grand...]

[winepouring]

[ Shi Qingxuan...pouts. He isn't sure if he's relieved or disappointed here... ]

It's not an easy undertaking; this is the sort of practice a person devotes their entire life to.

[ He didn't have her pinned as a slacker! But, this works out for him! If he taught her badly and she ended up hurt, Shi Qingxuan doesn't think he could forgive himself... ]

Since you're not interested, though, that's that! Blastia is your specialty, so you can continue focusing your attention and building your skills on that.

[ Yep, accepted this outcome! ]

Now you've learned a bit about my skills, are you satisfied?

[tempingainteasy]

The Government, [April starts, since they're not wrong - but there's a lot of questions there, so April holds up their free hand.]

You know what? I think I opened this conversation up by saying how great it was that I didn't have to take questions from the general public anymore (or something like that).

But I'll tell you what, bud: If you want me to give you a free lesson in history, geography, and civics, then I'm going to need you to head over to that bar [April points to the part of the poolside bar where the invisible bartender is cleaning a glass.] and order whatever drink with a tiny umbrella looks the most fun to you, then come back here and take a seat. And ditch a few pieces of armour, too.

[April punctuates this by sipping her own brightly coloured drink While she waits for this guy to do whatever he's going to do.]

[justneedsomehelp]

"What--" Steven, what the actual fuck are you telling people? "So, let me get this straight... This guy over here saw a bunch of different faces, and you didn't see any, and somehow this led to you dragging him back here?"

For some reason. This guy seems kinda... intense, really. Marc isn't sure how to feel about him. "I mean... I'd say most people see things in mirrors all the time. Kinda the point of them, right?"

[prefers_magneto]

"Normally one sees oneself in a mirror," Erik points out, in case they don't actually know how they usually work. "And nobody drags me anywhere. He just seems like a baby bird in the wilderness, so I thought maybe you're the one that's got it together," he tells Marc.

[myagic]

[He sure pouts a lot... In any case, the level of difficulty isn't what holds her back. It really does just sound like a boring process! Unlike reading textbooks. Now that's much more interesting.]

Well, I devoted my life to blastia.

[She says it casually enough, even as she's all too aware of her use of past tense. What to devote herself to now...and how to go about it...]

Anyway... I don't know if "satisfied" is the word for it...

[Sorry, Qingxuan...she's hard to please... (even if she can admit--if only to herself!--that he does have a powerful grasp of magic)]

[winepouring]

Ha! There's no need to worry about payment. Just remember the Wind Master in your future endeavors! [ Even it's a stock phrase for the role he's playing, it feels a little shameless for the god himself to say... ] But, if you're really offering to show me around, then I'll gladly accept.

[ It's the first time he's heard some degree of displeasure in Jade's tone, subdued as it is. Now he really wants to what this ship has to offer, if only for risk mitigation. After all, the only reason he can find his way back to his room now is because he's simply retracing his steps and hasn't been able to deviate from the path since waking up.

(Silently, Shi Qingxuan is grateful that Jade is only internally laughing. Not that he particularly minds looking ridiculous, but there's no need to rub it in! It's an entire ordeal of wrapping his arms up like spring rolls, leaning back and shuffling his arms to shake the puffy jacket off onto the floor, and then kicking the hideous-looking thing off to the side as he shakes his sleeves back out. Huff!)

With that out of the way, Shi Qingxuan turns around again like nothing happened! His bright eyes focus on Jade attentively, listening to his answer like a mission briefing.

When he describes his interest in the lei, however, a look of astonishment crosses his eyes before he reaches into his sleeve to tug it back out. ]

I can see why you're interested now. A protection talisman of that nature should be exceptionally rare.

[ Except, everyone here has one. He lowers his gaze to the lei and turns it in his hands, clutching the circle of bone gingerly between his fingers. His thumbs begin tracing over the surface. Since it's his assessment he wants, it's his assessment that Jade gets! And, truthfully, Shi Qingxuan simply likes talking, so he starts running his mouth. ]

Maybe this is all old news for you, but let tell you anyway. When it comes to crafting things like this, the materials are key. Knowing what it's meant to do now, these strange materials make some sense. The creator was attempting to invoke a sense of purity and hope for the future with these things. However, be that as it may, I still can't understand...

[ He trails off, thumbs still searching the bone, then suddenly starts again. ]

Anyway, when it comes to charms, if it isn't drawn in something, then it's usually carved. But if someone wanted an invisible charm, that's also possible. If you're especially talented, it's possible to create charms using your own spiritual power and hide them in the open. In that case, even someone like me might not be able to detect them.

[ And, he doesn't, and he lifts his gaze from the lei. ]

You said the captain wasn't aware of these leis' power, so it would make sense that the ward itself is invisible. Whoever placed it must be very powerful and very skilled in this particular form of magic. Not only that, but if they were meant to protect against such a catastrophe, then these materials shouldn't be ordinary feathers and lotus pods, either, but something rarer that has existed in this world for centuries and gained power in itself. If these are made with spiritual magic, then whoever created them must have genuinely cared about the people receiving them...

But, saying that, these leis being created using spiritual magic seems unlikely, don't you think? It isn't as though this ship isn't operating under some powerful magic, but who would go through the trouble?

[konpeito_aji]

[Drinks! A small price to pay for this tantalizing (for Nobuanga, clearly it's a drag for her, luckily... he doesn't care) conversation!]

[He's about to dash over there--]

[But balks when she says he should lose some of the armor.]

[He wants to ask if she's completely insane.]

[They've just been kidnapped, taken to the North Atlantic by... wormhole? It had to be, if it was on the other side of the world, right? And there's so much new technology here, clearly she's comfortable with it, but time traveled? Like Mai. Had to be a reverse wormhole -- how strange then that it took him not Mai...]

[And now she wants him to lower his defenses even MORE?]

[His arbitrary puny defenses, but one of his last ditch resorts to not die?]

[He'd set out "this morning" with the aim of springing an assassination attempt trap.]

[You do that by appearing vulnerable.]

[... Yeah, but... also... the plan was to have Hideyoshi and a bunch of the others secretly waiting at the bath house to spring the trap with him when the assassins showed themselves. Here, it's just him.]

[Still...]

[He bows stiffly.] My apologies great lady, your enthusiasm is infectious.

[It's a joke... but he does go get her another of those drinks, and for himself the most foreign exotic weird drink he could find on the menu. It's blue. It's FOAMY! With... ICE SLUSHY?!?! It has pineapple and coconut and vodka, and whatever the hell blue curacao is, and Nobunaga's eyes are as wide as saucers again as he comes back, and after handing her the drink...]

[Literally...]

[Sits on his heels with his head bowed, like an attendant waiting royalty, or a student awaiting a teacher's instruction.]

[But he does... Unbuckle the breastplate, and reveal the extremely bandaged chest underneath.]

[She can't possibly understand how rare this is for him. He doesn't do respectful. He doesn't do polite. He doesn't do... sieza as a matter of fact. WELL, not normally, anyway. He was incredibly unruly with his tutors, outraging them in every way imaginable, and many unimaginable.]

[But he really really wants to learn. Which is why he's keeping most of (at least SOME of...) his Demon King nonsense to himself.]

[Although it's not going to stop him from almost inhaling that drink.]

[Which, as you know, is a huge mistake.]

Ow... [Hand to head...] What is this piercing pain as though struck by an arrow? [Hand to sword hilt.] Show thyself!

[Yeah. Yeah. Dumbass here just gave himself a brain freeze.]

[Sorry April, you didn't sign up for this shit, but even here, there's no escaping morons, it would seem.]

[winepouring]

[ Or Rita makes him pout a lot!!

Regardless, what a thing to say! He smiles in amusement, only thinking: She's so young, and she's already committed to such a degree. Some people dream of immortality from a young age, and she's also followed her own dream. How can he not smile over that? ]

In that case, then I wouldn't want to lead you astray from your life's passion... [ Everyone has their own path, et cetera, and... ] ...but still, are you not satisfied? What word you would use if not "satisfied"?

[ WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, MISS RITA?? ]

[myagic]

[He's totally just a pouty-face!!]

Yeah...I guess.

[It's a pretty non-commital answer, but he's basically still a stranger--she isn't about to go spilling all her uncertainties on him! Instead...it's much better to make him squirm.]

Hmm..."messy" sounds about right.

[She's just going to smooth out some of her wind-disheveled clothes to back up the point!]

[winepouring]

[ Shi Qingxuan being Shi Qingxuan, he doesn't press or linger on her answer, letting the topic pass.

But!! Oh...

Now he feels guilty again. She's still a young lady after all, so how could he let her clothes end up in such a sorry state? ]

Sorry, sorry. That really was my mistake... I thought it would feel refreshing out here, but it had a nasty effect on your clothing.

[ So sad...but?? He snaps his fan closed and taps it against his hand. ]

Let me make it up to you.

[hellonspectacles]

Most of the time, he keeps to himself, though there are a handful of people he has granted an audience. Otherwise-- [a grim shake of his head] Frankly, miss, you should know that if he’s hanging around, it usually means that something terrible is about to happen.

[After such a practical beginning to their conversation, her next question is unexpectedly conversational. He lifts his brows, faintly amused.] Oh, goodness. I do a lot of reading, I suppose. The library’s selection is rather good, assuming you like fiction. Other people enjoy the sports deck, though as you might surmise, I’m not exactly the athletic sort.

But I spend most of my time conducting research on the nature of this pocket universe and why the Captain brought us here. It’s a project of innumerable fits and starts, but how else will we find a way to escape?

[So much for lightening the mood!]