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TEST DRIVE MEME #2
1. this hotel room got a lot of stuff
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. and a touch-tone phone
[chatterbox isn't exactly the most popular venue onboard. it probably has something to do with the distinct lack of open liquor bottles. so, nothing personal. except it seems that it's decided to take it that way, suddenly.
anyone enjoying the other amenities of deck five will feel the distinct sensation of being watched while they do so. the kind of feeling a prey animal gets while being stalked on the grasslands. something may slither by their foot, or past their elbow while they rest it on the bar, but nothing appears to be there when they look.
until there is.
a black electrical cord originating from somewhere will, first, wrap around their ankle, tugging in a very clear "follow" instruction. should this instruction be ignored, a second cord will wrap around their other ankle, and, once again, tug. should this clear final warning be ignored... well, now they're being dragged down the promenade, and that's really their own fault, isn't it. don't struggle. struggling means more cords show up. and none of them seem terribly aware that most species need to expand their lungs to live.
their final destination, no matter the journey, is chatterbox's main stage, where the karaoke machine awaits. the cords place a microphone in their hand; the mic's cords bind it tightly to their hand.
they don't have to pick a song. there isn't an actual gun to their head, in any literal sense. it's just, those cords really don't seem that interested in letting go until they do.
and if you were heading to chatterbox anyway? welcome to the weirdest goddamn karaoke night you've ever seen.]
3. and a bucket of ice (cw: cannibalism mention)
[no longer will scoops be bound by the shackles of only having 31 flavors. for this month, and this month only, a sign that very much looks like Friday hand-wrote it announces, they will have 32!
what is that mysterious 32nd flavor? it depends, really: the letters on the display case seem to shift and change with each new pair of eyes that fall upon them, with the contents changing along with it. someone from the capital wasteland might find some Nuka-Cola ™ branded ice cream. twilight town residents will be thrilled to find sea salt on the menu. and a frankly concerning amount of people bring out a flavor that only describes itself as "long pig." it's a weird off-white color. don't think about it too hard.]
percy jackson — riordan mythos/percy jackson & too many damn books — ota
♆ I GET THE LIMITED EDITION STRANGLE SNUGGY™
♆ WILDCARD.
Steals my cookie
It's debatable whether any of the briefing sunk in for Steven. He'd been standing there fidgeting the whole time, preoccupied with trying to see if he can catch a glimpse of Marc in any sort of reflective surface, or Khonshu, or even Layla - at this point he'll take the word of anyone familiar who would know what's happened while Marc was in control and how he ended up on this ship.]
Is he here?! Can you see him? [Does Steven sound slightly unhinged whisper-shouting at Percy? More than he's aware of, most likely. Don't mind him, he's just slowly losing his shit.]
no subject
directly in spite of the fact that very little shocks him anymore, he gives Pushing Mid-Life Crisis with an Invisible Friend Guy an over-emphasized sigh of relief. drops the rooster feather lei in his hand and goes along with it. yes and, right? because if none of this is real and it's all some wacky god-induced dream, you better believe he's messing with people. )
Yes. Oh my gods, yes. I didn't want to be the first one to say it. Frankly, I'm a little concerned with what he's doing. ( a pause, surely not struggling to improvise. ) What is he doing?
no subject
I thought I was the only one who could see him. [Did Harrow lie to him? He didn't lie to him about murdering pre-criminal children. He was a little bit mean but frankly everyone's been quite mean and no one wants to give Steven a break. Breathing out the first half of a long hooooooooooooooooosaaaaa, Steven swallows, licks his upper lip and runs his palms down the length of his thighs.]
Usually he just-- stands there and insults people or sends you off on a wee bit of a murder bender but I don't know where he's gone. Maybe he's- he's off to find his cow girlfriend or he's just preening in the corner or I don't know. I don't know. Maybe he's given up on us and talking to you instead. [Not that Steven would wish that upon anyone, but if what Marc said had any inkling of truth, he's just as abusive and selfish and manipulative and violent as the rest of the rotten lot.]
Do you think there's a um... [Steven tilts his head a bit, wringing his hands, not really able to make eye contact.] Security cameras? Or something? From when we got on the ship... until now. I didn't see any.
no subject
Maybe? I mean, I'm not about to rule anything out. One time I walked onto the set of what was definitely a game show of the gods, so...
( not helpful. it's okay if steven doesn't want to look at him, he's feeling the awkward and also appropriately fidgety. he rubs at the back of his neck and tries to force the apology out. )
Okay, real quick. I was having a moment. I'm still having a moment. You ever have one of those dreams where you're walking to the kitchen for leftover pizza and it's going to be amazing, but you open the box and there's a talking mushroom with googly eyes inside? Because why not? And then suddenly, WHAM! you're in a forest, no questions asked. ( right, yes, focus. ) I thought maybe this was that? And it'd be funny to just screw with you? Because it's not real. But?
I don't know who we're talking about. ..Sorry. ( oof, wait! ) High five for the other guy in the room who sees things other people can't? No? C'mon. Low five?
no subject
Yes. Yes! That's exactly it mate. [Steven points at him as if it'd make his point any stronger, and the more he talks, the faster he talks, the more wild his hand gestures are, and the more confusing and non-linear the story gets.] I was-- I was in my flat right? And then next thing I know I'm-- halfway across the world in some cult village and there's guns and magic and all sorts of rubbish. There's this-- there's this American bloke in my head who keeps trying to save the world beating everybody up into a bloody pulp and-- and all I want is just for everything to stop. Just-- stop. And I could have. Just one afternoon, with a cup of tea, some biscuits. Talk to Gus, my fish. I miss him. Check in on mum. But we're in Egypt and all the gods are having a laugh and-- and the American bloke's wife is amazing - such an amazing woman, the most amazing woman I've ever met, she likes everything I like and she's patient and kind and dangerous and-- and just everything to me. And he's trying to leave her listening to Big Bird? Who does nothing but bully him and me around all day and it's all wrong!
The worst part of it all is I don't even know what's real anymore! Am I in Egypt stopping a child murderer from killing everybody on the planet or am I late for work or are we on some bloody ship now going somewhere else killing more people?!
no subject
but, he can relate. somewhat.
against what is most likely everyone’s better judgment, percy lets him spiral, unable to get a word in edgewise. )
Big Bird’s real? ( listen, man, there’s a lot to unpack there. he’s in love with someone else’s wife? potentially? leveling with him, he crouches down and slightly tilts his head to the side. percy has some practice with kids freaking out. )
How about we start with a deep breath, huh? Can you do that for me? ( he takes one for good measure. ) Okay, good. One step at a time. We’re on a boat and, it’s going fast and—
( can't do it to him. )
And I bet you're hungry. Let's see if we can find some tea. You can tell me more about Gus. What do you say? ( percy holds out a hand, ready to pull steven back to his feet. please don't go full american psycho on him. )
no subject
Yes. Well, no. Not Big Bird. I mean, Khonshu. [Steven is quite possibly some kind of mental manifestation of someone else's wife combined with the traits of how someone else wants to be more like - less violent, more intellectual, quiet life, but liking everything she likes - but he's firmly in denial about, well. Everything.
So he finishes the second half of his hooooooooooooosaaaaaaaaa and breathes in deep and slow, breathes out that sigh. He goes back to wringing his hands and glancing around the shiny metal door handles and push plates and windows, but Marc isn't there, and neither is Khonshu. For the first time in a while it's actually quiet in his head and nobody's calling him stupid or telling him what to do. He can hear himself think, feel the exhaustion deep in his bones, and just be in the moment.
Maybe he should take up the offer of tea. World doesn't seem to need saving right now if they've all pissed off somewhere. Or, who knows, maybe they're off gallivanting across Egypt saving the world and this is all just made up in Steven's world to distract him from whatever murder spree they've embarked on.]
Yea. Yea. Tea would be nice... [He trails off a bit quietly before reaching up to take that hand and push himself up. He stumbles a bit, checking behind him before looking back over at the young man again. He seems very patient and calm and collected about all this. Although he's probably paid to go on this cruise and he knows exactly what he's doing here, whereas Steven's just some crazy passenger flipping out over not remembering how he came onboard and talking about multiple personalities, gods, child murderers and Marc's wife.]
Gus um... [Steven swallows as he not so much walks as he does teeter a bit towards the noisier part of the ship, presumably where everyone else has gathered for food or entertainment or whatever it is people do on cruises.] I-- don't think the fish in my tank is actually Gus. He's supposed to have one fin but I-- I came home one day after-- I don't know. I just came home one day and he has two now? Like, is that normal? Do you know anything about goldfish?
STRANGLE SNUGGY™
[ And unfortunately, given the cables that seem to have abducted this man to place him on stage - it seemed like they had no chance to endure the performance. ]
[ Afterward, she approached the stage - just to make certain there wasn't an encore. ]
[ Calm and flat; ] Are you finished?