TEST DRIVE MEME #2

[sailmods]

1. this hotel room got a lot of stuff

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome aboard! We're so glad to have you!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. and a touch-tone phone

[chatterbox isn't exactly the most popular venue onboard. it probably has something to do with the distinct lack of open liquor bottles. so, nothing personal. except it seems that it's decided to take it that way, suddenly.

anyone enjoying the other amenities of deck five will feel the distinct sensation of being watched while they do so. the kind of feeling a prey animal gets while being stalked on the grasslands. something may slither by their foot, or past their elbow while they rest it on the bar, but nothing appears to be there when they look.

until there is.

a black electrical cord originating from somewhere will, first, wrap around their ankle, tugging in a very clear "follow" instruction. should this instruction be ignored, a second cord will wrap around their other ankle, and, once again, tug. should this clear final warning be ignored... well, now they're being dragged down the promenade, and that's really their own fault, isn't it. don't struggle. struggling means more cords show up. and none of them seem terribly aware that most species need to expand their lungs to live.

their final destination, no matter the journey, is chatterbox's main stage, where the karaoke machine awaits. the cords place a microphone in their hand; the mic's cords bind it tightly to their hand.

they don't have to pick a song. there isn't an actual gun to their head, in any literal sense. it's just, those cords really don't seem that interested in letting go until they do.

and if you were heading to chatterbox anyway? welcome to the weirdest goddamn karaoke night you've ever seen.]

3. and a bucket of ice (cw: cannibalism mention)

[no longer will scoops be bound by the shackles of only having 31 flavors. for this month, and this month only, a sign that very much looks like Friday hand-wrote it announces, they will have 32!

what is that mysterious 32nd flavor? it depends, really: the letters on the display case seem to shift and change with each new pair of eyes that fall upon them, with the contents changing along with it. someone from the capital wasteland might find some Nuka-Cola ™ branded ice cream. twilight town residents will be thrilled to find sea salt on the menu. and a frankly concerning amount of people bring out a flavor that only describes itself as "long pig." it's a weird off-white color. don't think about it too hard.]

Comments

[killed]

[ His eyes linger on the the girl, more interested in her darting movements than the materials she partakes of. They're archaic tools, but he's worked with worse. A skilled surgeon needs nothing more than a sharp knife to cut one open, and a sewing needle to close up their patient. Still, it's hardly ideal, and there's something to be said about the lack of sanitation and the risk of infection! If not infection, then the hundreds of other infections that can kill one on antibiotics!

Still, it would be tactless to say so to one scurrying attempting to ferret items as though they were in short supply. ]

They will, but they're hardly ideal!

[ Despite himself, he sounds almost aghast at the idea of settling for them. That should hardly be surprising. In the modern world, it's unheard of to use such ancient materials, much less on such an indulgent cruise ship. He brings a closed fist to his mouth as he clears his throat, offering her a brief yet apologetic smile, ]

This is a luxury cruise ship, yes? If they can afford to supply vices such as gambling, then certainly they should be able to provide the best care... Why, I don't think I've even seen a doctor manning this room!

[ His eyes remain fixed on the young woman, as though looking for confirmation of that fact, or perhaps he'd like to know if she's their medic? ]

[skaikru]

( is there a nice way to crush people's hopes and aspirations? a gentle way to break it to newcomers that this world doesn't work the way they'd expect most to? what was the point of being in the first wave of passengers to wake up if not to help the next round adjust with as few growing pains as humanly possible, except...

no, that's not really on the table here. this existence is designed to hurt, and so clarke just sorta... half shrugs. )

There's doctors on board. ( vague, not particularly helpful. yes, she's among that number, but perhaps more of an understudy. there's magicians who can harness the power of the moon to heal wounds, apparently, and those who draw from all the elements around them in order to ease pain and knit flesh. clarke's on the mundanely human level of sticking her fingers directly into a wound and holding the spurting arteries closed until someone could cauterize the bleed. )

None of them exactly work here, though they'd help you if you were injured. But you're mistaken if you think the best care is at the top of our kidnappers priority list.