sail_ooc | TEST DRIVE MEME #4

1. you will survive being bested

[you wake up.

it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.

the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:

Dear Passenger(s),

As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.

At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!

See You Real Soon!

Sincerely,
Gal Friday

you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.

you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]

Welcome! We're... I'm very glad to have you aboard!

[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.

after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]

2. think about how many times I have fallen

[for the most part, no one has given the elevators much thought. they've all done their job reliably and dutifully this entire time, never so much as being blocked off for maintenance.

until today, when the doors close behind you as you enter, and don't open again.

for the most part, that's all that happens. the doors can't be pried open, or broken with force or magic, and though the glass walls remain stubbornly shatterproof, you can look through them and try to get the attention of anyone outside. (Friday, down in the atrium, sees your desperately pounding fists and gives a wave, but does nothing else.) the elevators don't move... except, when they do. going up two or three stories, and then dropping, sometimes as many as five stories at a time, stopping just as suddenly.]

3. it was the easiest thing to do

["physically assaulting people is an easy way to get attention" was probably a very bad lesson for the neglected locations to have learned, but it they did it anyway.

this time, it's the sushi restaurant on the promenade, Mikabo. it turns out, the conveyor belt can go faster than one would assume. much faster, actually, with the apparently ability to stop on a dime. both of these factors have combined to create what is functionally a pitching machine, but for dragon rolls, wads of wasabi paste, and exceedingly sharp steak knives, all of which are being aimed at anyone foolish enough to walk by the doors of the restaurant without coming in.

its aim, at the very least, doesn't seem to be the best. for now. because it very much seems like it's getting better.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"A lady with no--" he starts, though he doesn't finish the sentence. The biting thing is even weirder. (Though, there's a check mark in the column for the vampire possibility.)

As she nudges his sword aside, he gives a grumble and lowers his sword. Once she does the same, he slowly sheathes it. She's obviously not the source of the problem, and currently she's actually being a little bit useful. There's yet to seem to be any outright dangers, and if some appear, he can draw his sword quickly enough.

The follow-up question takes him aback though. "No. What?! Of course not," he barks. Does this look like it's intended to be pretty?? Please.

Yes, thank you, that's much better. She doesn't like having conversations with people while they're pointing weapons at her, whatever the reason.

"No face," Ylva confirms. She gestures a little with her sword and puts it away, shrugging. "No mouth, no eyes. Not in the terrible injury way, either. I think she's just... like that. If you're not trying to be pretty, then why?"

She obviously does not give up on a question once it's in her head.

The fact she's jumping back and forth between subjects, telling him about these apparent ghastly apparitions and then suddenly prodding him about what he looks like - he finds it unsettling, which in turn makes him angry.

"What does it matter?!" he barks, annoyed. "There are more important things to discuss!"

"I'm just curious," she shrugs. "I've never seen anyone who painted their face that way. I wondered if there was a reason."

Still, Ylva seems to think about his complaint a little bit. "I've woken up in strange places before. Never entirely without people I know, but I have. It usually worked out okay. This isn't the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm not worried."

She tosses her head, baring her teeth in challenge. She is, in fact, sort of worried. "But I don't know what else to tell you."

Obviously he paints it like that to be scary. And it works, thank you very much. ~~Also zinc acts as sunscreen.~~

He narrows his eyes a little at her... optimism? It seems extremely misplaced. At least if it's the kind of optimism that discourages action.

"Waking up on a hellish metal island that's an affront to the ocean, with..." he says, and gestures vaguely around them. "Strange contraptions, and a compulsion that forces you to go where it wants you to. And you're telling me... that you're not worried?"

"Not at all," she lies. It's actually not a great lie. "I think this captain is in charge? I find him, I kill him, we all go home. Easy."

Ylva does not lack for confidence. She shrugs.

"It might be another plane of existence. It... probably is? Look, I'm not a wizard, I don't know about that sort of magic. I've just seen it a few times."

Sabertooth nods. That's a decent plan. Might need a bit more detail than just 'find him, kill him', but it's a solid start.

He has no idea what a 'plane of existence' is, and he hates how she says that like it's something he should know. He huffs a bit. "Mystical nonsense. Sorcerers always complicate things."

Never mind that he's been ~~saved~~ assisted by sorcerers multiple times.

More detail to the plan than that would be entirely out of character.

"It's definitely complicated. I let other people worry about things like that, normally, but... well, none of them are here." Ylva, for a moment, looks genuinely concerned, and a little lost, but she shakes her head. "No, we'll be fine. And you'll be fine, once you get unstuck. There's got to be another way to get out of it, but... well, I don't know it yet, that's all."

Sabertooth growls thoughtfully then gives a huff. She looks like she can use some guidance, and he likes giving orders. If she's not an enemy, she might be an ally. Not that he trusts her, but he might be able to use her - assuming the woman isn't totally useless. If his men aren't here, he needs to use his resources at hand.

"Every ship that has a captain has a captain's quarters. See what you can find out. I'll go investigate this so-called safety drill," he orders quietly, drawing his sword again. He spins calmly around, and takes a single step forward. When it works he gives a nod and a grunt, then starts striding off in that direction.

Ylva gives a little growl, not entirely sure she wants to take orders from him. She doesn't even know him! But she shrugs vaguely. There's nothing about what he's saying that she's not intending to do anyway.

"Have fun," she calls after him, and turns to wander off.

TEST DRIVE MEME #4

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Player sad she can't actually use her detailed D&D knowledge

the party can never go back to Sigil and it's mostly Ylva's fault, so

Whoops™

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