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TEST DRIVE MEME #4
1. you will survive being bested
[you wake up.
it doesn't matter where you were before. going to bed? dying? opening the door to face a great evil? same result. you wake up in a soft bed with starched sheets in a cool, darkened room, sunlight peeking out from behind thick curtains. maybe you're alone; maybe you aren't. maybe you immediately notice the folded paper on the bedside table near your head. if you don't, you better fix that real quick: you won't be able to even open the door before you read it.
the note itself is written in a neat hand on white card stock; there is a stylized logo of a ship with the words SERENA ETERNA printed underneath. the note reads as follows:
Dear Passenger(s),
As your cruise director, it is my great honor to welcome you aboard the Serena Eterna, your destination for fun and adventure! We know you could have chosen any cruise line for your vacation, and we're very grateful you chose ours! On behalf of the Captain, I would like to assure each and every passenger that will we do whatever it takes to fulfill all your needs and desires during your journey with us.
At your earliest possible convenience, please attend the mandatory lifeboat drill by the end of the day. I'm sure everyone is very eager to get started on all the fun and sun, but safety always comes first! You can find your life jacket in your cabin's closet; carry it to your assigned muster station on deck one, where I will take you through the drill. If you can't find me in the crowd, just look for the gal with the winning smile!
See You Real Soon!
Sincerely,
Gal Friday
you walk to deck one. you have no other choice: every time you try to step in a direction some unseen being considers "not towards deck one," you find your legs no longer move, staying stock still, frozen. whether compelled quickly by curiosity, or delayed by pure stubbornness, the result is the same, and you are left milling around with other similarly curious or stubborn people.
you see someone in uniform near the front of the crowd. she seems to be a gal, but is missing the winning smile, along with most of her other features. she seems to see you, though, rushing to your side and placing a lei around your neck with great formality. a voice, cheery but artificial, sees to come from nowhere and everywhere.]
Welcome! We're... I'm very glad to have you aboard!
[you touch the lei. rooster feathers, lotus seeds, and a carved circle of something white and hard, linked onto a silk string.
after the drill is completed, you are seemingly free to go. or, well, your legs work, now. and maybe that's as good as it's gonna get.]
2. think about how many times I have fallen
[for the most part, no one has given the elevators much thought. they've all done their job reliably and dutifully this entire time, never so much as being blocked off for maintenance.
until today, when the doors close behind you as you enter, and don't open again.
for the most part, that's all that happens. the doors can't be pried open, or broken with force or magic, and though the glass walls remain stubbornly shatterproof, you can look through them and try to get the attention of anyone outside. (Friday, down in the atrium, sees your desperately pounding fists and gives a wave, but does nothing else.) the elevators don't move... except, when they do. going up two or three stories, and then dropping, sometimes as many as five stories at a time, stopping just as suddenly.]
3. it was the easiest thing to do
["physically assaulting people is an easy way to get attention" was probably a very bad lesson for the neglected locations to have learned, but it they did it anyway.
this time, it's the sushi restaurant on the promenade, Mikabo. it turns out, the conveyor belt can go faster than one would assume. much faster, actually, with the apparently ability to stop on a dime. both of these factors have combined to create what is functionally a pitching machine, but for dragon rolls, wads of wasabi paste, and exceedingly sharp steak knives, all of which are being aimed at anyone foolish enough to walk by the doors of the restaurant without coming in.
its aim, at the very least, doesn't seem to be the best. for now. because it very much seems like it's getting better.]
Kickback | Transformers G1
One drill and a happily eaten paper note later (the life jacket was considered too, but then there was the weird human with no face, so maybe it was a good thing he decided against it), and Kickback has already decided that all his other concerns can wait. Sure, he's alone for the first time in forever, but he's okay so the others probably are too, right? The others will find him later. Probably.
So! First thing's first? Food!
A few errant snacks of wallpaper later, and the endless buffet table has acquired a new addition: a giant robotic grasshopper chomping away on salads, tofus, and - most importantly - crab legs. It never ends! He's in heaven! And far too engrossed in chowing down to notice if anyone's actually spotted his gluttony.
ii) and the reigning mid-air eating champion is...
As if the buffet table wasn't good enough, the somewhat shrunk Insecticon has finally found the other restaurants. Mikabo has found a new patron- Unfortunately, said patron refuses to come in, instead sitting cross-legged there on the floor in his robot mode and eating everything flung at him directly out of the air.
Including the knives.
One goes a little off-course, but before any bystanders can be impaled, Kickback leaps up (just as well as he does in grasshopper mode, thank you very much) and eats the offending sharp implement before you can say 'Insecticon'.
He tilts his head to one side as he chews, and declares, "Bit heavy on the chromium, I think. But not bad."
ii. so much timey wimey
"Well, thank you all the same for the save, darling. I'd hate to know what it might have felt like to be impaled." As if she'd never been impaled before, hadn't felt the sting of death over and over. "What are your preferences? Perhaps I could get you something as a thanks."
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He gets himself to his feet properly in an almost lazy manner, balancing on his heels a moment and flicking out the metal grasshopper wings on his back. Still grinning, sharp and playful. Playing at nice, perhaps, but that doesn't matter (yet).
"Do all the shops throw things at you? I think I'm liking this place more and more every moment I'm here."
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She looks Kickback over, taking in the interesting technological parts, but she doesn’t question him on it. She’s still trying to keep her own robotics a secret.
“Most of them? I don’t think so. I’m surprised this one does, but then I haven’t been to every shop yet.”
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He mock pouts. "No constant games of catch-the-food? Knew it was too good to be true. I'm Kickback, by the way." That cheeky look slips back onto his face. "I'm the cute Insecticon."
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"Unfortunately not, darling." She studies him for a moment. Insecticon. She's never heard of one before. Nor has she met one. Perhaps it's a race? Or perhaps that's just what they are called. Like how she is a Host. "Kickback. A charming name." She does know how to deal with men at least. "I'm Maeve." She pauses. "And I'm not certain I've ever met an Insecticon before. Is that why you have wings? It's an ingenious addition. Can you fly?"
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"Catch me outside sometime and I'll demonstrate, alright?"
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"I'll be certain to see it sometime. I'm afraid I cannot repay the favor. I can't fly and I don't have an alternate mode."
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"Hah, I'd be more surprised if you could fly. Haven't met a human so far who has as many tricks as the average Cybertronian! And that's even discounting me and my lovely fellow Insecticons."
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Re: Kickback | Transformers G1
[Spotted gluttony? Oh Deadlock's done more than spot that gluttony. He's downright offended. Which looks a lot like his usual scowl of disapproval but more disapproving. He remembers starving back in Rodion gutters.
[Deadlock leans against the doorway, arms crossed. ]
You're a fraggin' disgrace.
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[ Kickback turns around a bit after that chirp, antennae flicking in both surprise and the mildest show of alarm at the sight of not another of these squishy organics... But another Decepticon. He doesn't recognize this one, but that doesn't mean much. The weird shrinking this place has done seems to have put them at a much closer height, though.
He shoves another few crab legs into his grasshopper mouth. Ohhh, there is going to be a great food coma later. ]
Keep pulling a face like that and it'll never go away, you know. [ What a brat. ]
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What kind of fraggin' Decepticon wants to be cute?
[He pronounces the word as though it literally hurts his face to say it.
It probably does. ]
The frag is wrong with my face? [It's HIS business and he doesn't care about a face. Being 'cute' *gag* isn't gonna win the war. ]
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Awful lot of humans aboard. [ He says it innocently enough, this seeming switch in topic... But that smirk doesn't slip once. ] You're the only other Cybertronian I've seen so far.
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'Humans'. That what they call themselves? [Gross and weirdly pinkish, most of them.]
Great. So it's up to us. [Obviously, up to 'us' to find a way off this place. You're drafted, Kickback, to Deadlock's glorious cause.]
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Oh please. You gonna scare them? Bare your ugly face at them until they decide to get inventive instead of afraid? Who's gonna have an easier time of this: me, or you? [ Kickback grins, pointing at the expression playfully. ] Answer: me! Because I'm cute and friendly and I can get whatever I want.
[ Even if this Decepticon already knows the score like Kickback assumes, already knows that the Insecticons are a lot more dangerous than the chaos they'd prefer suggests, it doesn't matter. Manipulation is a tactic you can use even on the knowing. ]
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What you should want is to fight for freedom, you pile of slag. Not sit around and get lazy. That's what they want you to do.
[You know 'they'. Them. The Senate would love the Decepticons all to get lazy and stop fighting. It's why Deadlock fights MORE. ]
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I like a full tank, thank you very much. Too bad you afts can't eat anything you want, huh?
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Whole reason I fight is so no one has to starve anymore, like I did. [See, Deadlock is a hero, not a moron.] You just think about yourself.
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[ There's a mock-gasp of offense, and Kickback - absolutely hamming it up - puts a hand to his chest. ] Me? No. I only care about myself and my other Insecticons. Insecticons first... Decepticons second.
[ The smile he flashes Deadlock is bordering on patronizing. ] Just paying back the favour, hm?
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ii
"... Uh ... thanks...."
Maybe it makes some sense that a robot would like eating metal? Maybe in this case it's stranger that it also ate regular food....
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"You're lucky I was here," he chirps, smirking. "You humans can be so fragile."
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Another chomp, some chewing, and he notes, "Some of this is a little heavy on the cadmium though. Thought humans couldn't eat that?"
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He starts at this news. "Huh?! Oh great. So apparently this restaurant is poisoning everybody?" This shouldn't be a surprise, considering where they're trapped, but somehow it is.